Star Wars VII - Open spoilers

[gavku]

Newest trailer is pretty neat but I don't think its worth all the crazy hype its getting. Makes me think of how excited I got by that first Prometheus trailer and yeah that ended well  

[TychoCelchuuu]

The trailers are neat (and old man Han is totally dope!) but I honestly can't work up a lot of excitement over whatever JJ Abrams is going to churn out. Rian Johnson, though... I'm fucking pumped for that movie.

[Griddlelol]

I saw someone on Twitter remark that Han aged 7 years for each of Chewie's years, thus making Han Chewie's dog.

Lol. That made me snort my coffee.

Maybe cheesey is the wrong word, and stupid is a better one. Trying to think of a word other than "lame" as that's the only one that comes to mind.

I'm excited for a new characters and new things in an old setting. I don't need old characters in there because that's part of what made the prequels suck. They had to shoe horn old stuff in constantly rather than just being their own thing. An old ass Han isn't fun. What's he gonna do, complain about kids these days and the price of power converters?

I just don't want them to ruin Han like they ruined Indy.

[Gormongous]

I just don't want them to ruin Han like they ruined Indy.

 

I kind of don't want to get into this, because it's totally just my gut feeling against someone else's, but I agree with you completely. I can basically see no scenario where having an old-ass Harrison Ford, who really hasn't put in a decent performance since K-19: The Widowmaker thirteen years ago, doddering around the scene is going to make the movie as a whole better for anyone besides someone who just gets their rocks off from recognizing famous actors in classic franchises. Having him show up to ferry Natalie Portman's clone, the ever-gasping black guy, and the soccer-ball robot somewhere, maybe give them some advice about how he didn't used to believe in the Force but now he does, will be even worse than Spock's increasingly pointless appearances in the new Star Trek movies, if only because Ford has at best a fifth of the gravitas that Leonard Nimoy had and therefore makes a poor choice if passing the torch absolutely has to happen. The best thing that could possibly come out of his casting is him walking into frame, saying something to the effect of "Gee, this new movie sure is great," and then walking out of the movie for good, in which case why did they even bother, except to make the fan rags lose their shit, of course.

 

Nah, that's not precisely true. If they do Star Wars meets Space Cowboys and the bulk of the action is geriatric movie stars spouting cranky old-person versions of classic lines while their CGI Orville Redenbacher bodies do triple backflips through laser-filled firefights, that'll be great in a supremely terrible kind of way.

[BigJKO]

Yeah, old people are just the WORST!

[Merus]

I'm lucky that I basically liked two of the Star Wars films and I acknowledge only one of them as being pretty neat so I am completely immune to the trailers going 'remember Star Wars? Well guys we're bringing back your childhood!' because basically everything in my childhood is either still around and hasn't changed, is never coming back, they tried bringing it back and it caused an international incident over how ill-advised it was, or it's Space Quest.

 

I'm legitimately trying to think what they could possibly bring back that would send me into nostalgia paralysis, and I can't really think of anything. Maybe it's depression talking, though.

[Henroid]

The plot of Rogue One has been revealed. The movie is going to depict the theft of the Death Star plans.

 

So y'know. Dark Forces fans are shedding a tear. RIP Kyle Katarn.

[Gormongous]

RIP Kyle Katarn.

 

Unless...

[JonCole]

They essentially said that there would be no Jedi stuff in this one, so...

[melmer]

Rogue one teaser/info

https://youtube.com/watch?v=gMgjkZLNTVg

[Gormongous]

They essentially said that there would be no Jedi stuff in this one, so...

 

Katarn's not a Jedi until after the first Dark Forces...

 

 

I know, I'm being silly. Katarn's a fine character, but the writers probably want to make their own mark, with someone named Meck Rontaloona or something.

[Henroid]

Kyle being made into a Jedi was probably Lucas being all "NYEH ALL CAPABLE PEOPLE ARE JEDI NYEH." Lucas hated Wedge.

[Vorlonesque]

Harrison Ford (and others) felt they should have killed Han Solo off in Return of the Jedi...so I have this weird feeling that perhaps he's going to die in this movie.  I'm sort of kind of ok with him showing up in this to be killed off (though it would be hilarious if his death is caused by something fairly ordinary or even hilarious like an aneurysm on the toilet because he strained too hard).

 

I'm not too bothered by it because my attitude on anything regarding a Star Wars film is that the worst case scenario is that we get another shitty film and that's not unprecedented.  If we're lucky we might get a decent/ok film that's enjoyable...and if we're really lucky we might get a good film...if not I'm not too bothered because its not like they can make it worse or that anything they do somehow invalidates my enjoyment of the first three movies (that I haven't watched in a long long time actually...probably 10-15 years ago).

[Mawd]

Saying this as someone who kind of enjoyed Attack of The Clones when it came out (to be fair I was celebrating my 9th birthday at the time).

I feel safe in the assumption that whatever they do with this movie, it can't be worse than AotC. As a more modern watermark I think these movies even when average will be better than Transformers.

 

I'm not too big on the whole reminiscing thing because I'm not a part of that demographic who grew up with it in the 70s and absorbed all that cultural myth stuff about how awesome it was (even though I was the hugest SW nerd for a while and my Dad made sure I saw all the Lucas greats and did a lot to build them up with me). Seeing some of the old stuff come back is cool but If The Falcon just crashed into a planet and became completely unsalvageable I would be fine with that. Of course nothing bad will actually happen to it because it's fan bulletproof.

 

I think that's actually going to be a main suspense killer. Basically any time you see a beloved call back character in danger you can rest assured that they won't really die unless the music track changes from exciting to mournful.

[dartmonkey]

I remember leaving the cinema slack-jawed after the Yoda fight at the end of AotC. It successfully erased the tedium of the previous two hours and I was convinced I'd just seen a great movie. I still think that scene is one of the best in the series.

I'm interested to see what they do with the Sith. The snippets we've seen so far seem a bit generic, like token villains from an EU game. "Guys, we need a Vader substitute. Red lightsaber, obvio. Cowl and scowl. Facial scarring would be lovely. Oh, and a cape." Say what you like about Lucas, his bad guys were pleasingly dissimilar. A lady would be the obvious way to mix it up, maybe with a Samus style reveal at the end.

Also, my line above was autocorrected to "Guys, we need a badger substitute..."

[Ben X]

Rogue one teaser/info

https://youtube.com/watch?v=gMgjkZLNTVg

 

Here's one that's currently still up, but it's hard to see what you're actually looking at:

 

https://youtu.be/b_c2n9e3cYg

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_c2n9e3cYg

 

Description:

 

Some audio from the original trilogy - Obi-wan talking about jedis etc - as we track over a forest in the daytime. A small spaceship (TIE fighter?) zooms overhead. Pan up to the clear blue sky and see... the Death Star!

[SecretAsianMan]

I remember leaving the cinema slack-jawed after the Yoda fight at the end of AotC. It successfully erased the tedium of the previous two hours and I was convinced I'd just seen a great movie. I still think that scene is one of the best in the series.

 

I thought that fight was terrible, especially the way Dooku makes his escape.  All it showed me is just how bad everyone in Star Wars really is at using the Force.  Yes, Yoda had to keep the ceiling from falling on Anakin and Obi-wan, but rather than try and stop it dead like he did, he should have just pushed it slightly and changed the trajectory.  Or pulled Anakin and Obi-wan out of the way.  He basically did the least efficient thing possible and let Dooku escape.

 

Regarding killing off a returning character like Han: if they do it, hopefully they won't ruin it beforehand like they did with Qui-gon.  If you're not sure what I'm talking about, before The Phantom Menace was in theatres, the soundtrack was released.  One of the tracks is titled "Qui-gon Jinn's Noble End" and the following track is "The High Council Meeting and Qui-Gon's Funeral".

[Ben X]

Even if they don't do that, they'll probably release an Instagram pic saying "RIP Han!" the second the scene has played at the premiere. 

[Cordeos]

Maybe Han will be crushed by a moon.

[Griddlelol]

That's no moon...

[SecretAsianMan]

Maybe Han will shoot second.

[eot]

I thought that fight was terrible, especially the way Dooku makes his escape.  All it showed me is just how bad everyone in Star Wars really is at using the Force.  Yes, Yoda had to keep the ceiling from falling on Anakin and Obi-wan, but rather than try and stop it dead like he did, he should have just pushed it slightly and changed the trajectory.  Or pulled Anakin and Obi-wan out of the way.  He basically did the least efficient thing possible and let Dooku escape.

I dislike everything about that scene. That poorly coreographed, vapid lightsaber wankery epitomises so much of what those movies got wrong.

[Gormongous]

I dislike everything about that scene. That poorly coreographed, vapid lightsaber wankery epitomises so much of what those movies got wrong.

 

I've always liked RedLetterMedia's analysis of it: Yoda is supposed to be living proof that the Force does not follow the obvious logic of greatness and strength, but then in the prequels, we have to see how Yoda has to work his ass off just to meet a Sith lord of unspecified but apparently unexceptional power on equal terms in combat, and then he loses anyway and Dooku gets away! It basically undoes everything interesting and different about Yoda's character in the original trilogy and reaffirms Luke's half-assed and impulsive way of being a Jedi as how every Jedi really is.

[feelthedarkness]

it also does a tremendous disservice to the samurai legends that begat the whole saga. even in the shlockier stuff a deadly master would often be portrayed as wielding great force with little action, or even their hair. it's really hard to focus on any one thing. just total failures of planning and execution.  

[SecretAsianMan]

I've always liked RedLetterMedia's analysis of it: Yoda is supposed to be living proof that the Force does not follow the obvious logic of greatness and strength, but then in the prequels, we have to see how work his ass off to meet a Sith lord of unspecified but apparently unexceptional power on equal terms in combat, and then he loses! It basically undoes everything interesting and different about Yoda's character in the original trilogy and reaffirms Luke's half-assed and impulsive way of being a Jedi as the way that every Jedi really is.

 

Even within the original trilogy I thought Yoda was kind of full of it.  When he's trying to get Luke to lift his X-wing out of the swamp and Luke says its too big, Yoda tells him that size isn't relevant.  Yet when Yoda does it, he clearly has to stop and concentrate, the same way he does when saving Anakin and Obi-wan during the Dooku fight.  I suppose you could argue his age, but then that shouldn't really matter either. 

 

Like I keep saying, as imaginative as the Star Wars universe is in general, I find their use of the Force to be extremely limiting compared to all the stuff they say it can do.