dartmonkey

I Can't Go For That (Game Series)

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I have the standard guilt about games I've never played. Fallout, Metal Gear, Super Metroid, Minecraft, the list goes on. The only Monkey Island I've played is 4. They've fallen through the cracks, games are time-consuming, yadda yadda yadda. But there's a whole other world of games about which I have zero guilt. Big ones, often acclaimed with several sequels to their name. I have absolutely no interest in them. For better or worse, I feel like I've got their number. I could genuinely be missing out, but I'll never know. So I thought a thread listing these games might be interesting to see if there are any correlations and perhaps zero-in on some reasons.

Remember, inclusion here does NOT mean it's toilet. It could be the greatest. But you'll never know because you're never going to play it.


Rayman
The Thumbs read an email I sent about this a while back. I just can't get down with Rayman and I can't say why. The latest one looks amazing - the art and animation is first rate. By all accounts it's inventive and colourful and Continentally crazy. But it's just not happening. The character himself neuters my enthusiasm. It's like if Nintendo took Galaxy and replaced Mario with a Mortal Kombat-alike digitised sprite of Vanilla Ice. No.

Resistance

Grey and brown FPS. There's five of them. Knowledge and interest limit reached.

Ridge Racer

Somewhere there exists a dusty contract that ensures a perfectly serviceable arcade racer must launch with your console. You'd think they'd come up with the sequel a couple of years down the line...but no. Average launch games only. Feels like it thrives on the fumes of fanboys validating their Day One Perch.

Rachet & Clank

Okay I'm spotting an R pattern here which must surely be coincidence. Second series from Insomniac. Solid. Reliable. Fun, I'm told. Yerp.

 

Killzone

Had to Google this and make sure it wasn't Resistance. Probably says it all. There are six. They look lovely.

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The vast, vast majority of acclaimed video games are this for me. The list of games that I'm "guilty" about not playing is quite small, actually, and consists mostly of games that I actually own but never got around to playing.

 

I've played an old GBA Rayman and the first ps3 Ratchet and Clank, but I'm in the same boat as you regarding the rest of your list. I've also never played a Halo or Call of Duty game and probably never will. Also insert here countless old series that have never had my attention and so I can't even come up with their names.

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I would say you are missing out on Rayman a lot. Rayman Legends is a game that has kept me smiling throughout every level, and is superior to the 2D marios

 

I'm glad you posted this coz I remember hearing that reader mail and wanting to shout at how wrong you were. (In a good, overly-forceful overly-keen way).

 

Basically, ignore every other Rayman game. there are only 2 that matter, Legends and Origins. Legends is far far FAR superior.

 

The art - at least to me - is not the selling point of the game, nor is even the music (even though they are both spectacular in their own rights). The best thing about the game is it's superb platforming. It's fast, it's challenging and it's fair. Much like the platforming of yore, it has a lovely rhythm and flow to the levels, especially when you get to the timed levels and harder ones. The level design is also superb, and is clear and crisp. You always have an idea of where to go, and how to get there. a particular favorite level I have is where you are basically dodging a giant tower as it slowly sinks into the sand. it's superb.

 

And the game also knows about how important rhythm is in platformers, as superbly shown in the music levels, where your punches and jumps correlate to a beat. It's a really fantastic game. It's a shame you'll never play it.

 

Now for mine:

Final Fantasy

I've dipped my toes into a couple, and apart from a couple, they've never grabbed me. Ever. The exceptions being FF1 and FF3. I have tried my hardest to like 7, which is just a bore fest about a whiny emo kid, and 9, which I like, but I just can't bring myself round to caring about anything that's going on.

 

The Eldar Scrolls

Despite their huuuge popularity, they bore me to tears. I get out of the nicely linear tutorial bit, then a biiig open world is sprawled out before me. All with boring fantasy crap that I don't care about. I then think of every other game I could be playing instead, and turn it off.

 

EVE

I love reading about this game, as the player-made stories are interesting. Just can't bring myself around to playing it.

 

Games made by Blizzard

There is something about these games that make it look like a game made with a business mind set. All I see when I look at these games are bland, soul-less games.

 

War FPS

brown brown shooty shooty brown brown zzzzzzzz.....

 

MMO's

I hate people in games. Why I would want to play the same game which millions of other people I don't know. Also the combat is so dull and un-fun.

 

There are probably more but i forget.

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Regarding Rayman, did you know that at the very start of the game you can play as any of four characters?  For the whole game!  I choose to play as one of the Teensies, because Rayman is creepy, and it's a more inspiring game where a teensy is saving their own people.  Maybe that'd help you.

 

 

Rayman
The Thumbs read an email I sent about this a while back. I just can't get down with Rayman and I can't say why. The latest one looks amazing - the art and animation is first rate. By all accounts it's inventive and colourful and Continentally crazy. But it's just not happening. The character himself neuters my enthusiasm. It's like if Nintendo took Galaxy and replaced Mario with a Mortal Kombat-alike digitised sprite of Vanilla Ice. No.

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Final Fantasy. I was listening to an older episode of Thumbs and they were discussing something along the lines of when the world/setting/narrative are too fantastical it can feel too far removed from real emotional context, and I suspect that to be one reason why at least the majority of Japanese video games don't catch my interest.

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I played through Rayman Origins as Rayman, but I spent quite a long time with Rayman Legends playing as the spy princess.

 

The game has a spy princess. How could I not choose to play as the spy princess.

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Ninjasquirrel, I really hope that you deliberately called it "The Eldar Scrolls" out of some insane ironic mash-up of Bethesda's world and Warhammer's.

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JRPGs - grinding, random battles, the huge time investment, and their general limitaiton to consoles mean I've never played any Final Fantasy games or anything like them.

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Rogue Legacy. I keep hearing people saying this game is good, but I refuse to believe it. Everything I've seen of it looks like anti-fun to me.

 

The Binding of Isaac used to qualify for this, but I eventually did play it and my prejudices were confirmed.

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The community around LoMas makes me never want to touch them with a ten-meter cattle prod.

 

dartmonkey: you really owe it to yourself to play Super Metroid.

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Bioshock et al. 

 

Gameplay is only ok, and I've never been one to push through boring games for the sake of stories or world building*

 

*MGS (which I can't justify, I've just given up trying) and Planescape Torment notwithstanding. 

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The community around LoMas makes me never want to touch them with a ten-meter cattle prod.

 

I didn't think I had anything to contribute to this thread until this mention. I'm right there with you.

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MGS. I can't even consider playing those games with all those cutscenes. It's a joke.

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Final Fantasy has just never been able to grab my attention. I guess a large part of this is me getting into consoles relatively late, and thus having a bunch of other games to choose from already, but I've never been able to muster up any enthusiasm for this series.

 

Metal Gear Solid as well. Actually pretty much any big series that has been exclusive to Playstation :P

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Final Fantasy doesn't qualify for me because I feel like there's something buried in the good ones that I might enjoy. I also played 4 on DS, which didn't grab me. JRPGs in general go on my guilt list but I'm resigned to the fact that I'll probably never have the time.

 

The only pattern I can note so far is a slight Sony bent. The ones I can think of lack personality and feel like token nods to genre gaps in their portfolio. I have genuine 'old man brainfart syndrome' when it comes to separating Killzone from Resistance or Rachet & Clank from Jak & Daxter.

 

 

dartmonkey: you really owe it to yourself to play Super Metroid.

Dump it on 3DS VC and I'm there! The likelihood of me playing a game decreases by several orders of magnitude if, a) it isn't fiancee-friendly (ie. it isn't Rock Band), B) it's not on Steam, or c) I can't play it on the bus.

 

Edit. b + ) = B)

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There's an option under 'more reply options' to turn off smilies whenever I start listing something, but honestly I'd be happy to see that smilie nuked from orbit because I don't think anyone uses it except for when making lists.

 

The secret to FF4DS is that it's secretly not very good. The balance of the game was changed substantially mostly so that people who've already played 4 could have something harder.

 

At this point I basically write off LoMas and Tower Defence, and basically any multiplayer shooter. Everyone is very excited about Titanfall for some reason, and I am quite sure I will never play it as intended because that will not involve playing it with friends and acting as if I'm in a marketing video, laughing, making bedroom eyes at a colleague and high-fiving whoever is closest; it will involve playing it with a bunch of strangers who will probably call me a faggot.

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Assassin's Creed.

I simply don't buy games published by Ubisoft since they started treating PC as a 3rd class citizen. I played the first one, it was a bit grindy and tedious after a while. But it had potential.

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I played a few minutes of Assassin's Creed 1 and 2, I think it was a bit of Jerusalem and Venice. It was interesting, but there's no way I'm diving into that franchise now. Maybe I'll try the reboot.

 

Zelda is interesting. What about it makes you feel indifferent? The faux-medieval fairy setting could turn people off, but my guilt would be through the roof if I'd never played one. I've only recently played through LttP and found it disappointing. In fact, 16-bit Nintendo is, for me, an underwhelming area. The 'seminal' games - Super Mario World, Yoshi's Island, Mario Kart, LttP, - leave me feeling a little empty. I had a Mega Drive and missed the SNES boat, and now it's all been iterated to the nth degree.

 

 

he secret to FF4DS is that it's secretly not very good. The balance of the game was changed substantially mostly so that people who've already played 4 could have something harder.

I got a good way through and was grinding the hell out of it. Really felt obliged to finish until one day I reached the 'fuck it' stage and traded. I felt my time was being rewarded with tired tropes and little else. Simply wasn't worth the investment.

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The community around LoMas makes me never want to touch them with a ten-meter cattle prod.

Yeah, I'm in that boat too.

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This sums up my feelings about Final Fantasy (all of them)

 

 

I also can't get into Metal Gear (METAL GEAR?) and any game whose principle goal is to make you shit with fear (Slenderman, Amnesia, Outlast, etc) because I am a baby.

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Any Football (American) game. I played Madden once in like 2001 and hated it, and I don't like football at all (I like other sports and sports games).

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I'm surprised that both the first two things that come to mind have already been mentioned. 

 

Final Fantasy. The only good one is the first one for the NES

 

Metal Gear Solid. No thank you.

 

I gave up on Call of Duty after Modern Warfare.

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The only Monkey Island I've played is 4.

Wow, how did that happen? Such a strange place to start.

 

Valve Games - Nothing Valve does actually interests me. The art direction generally seems so stale and unappealing. I don't find any of the characters appealing or interesting. The games seem like boring first person shooters, and in general I hate playing those. I will just never understand the hype around Valve games and I'm not about to force myself to play them all just to understand. I know people who play every critically acclaimed game so they can have an opinion and something to talk about, but to me, life's too short and I have too many other games to play to actually bother. The only game I'm even actually interested in is Portal 2 and only because for once a game they made doesn't have shit art direction.

 

The guilt I feel is because the have been many people who I've talked to assume I have bad taste or a general dislike of video games because I have not basked in the glory of Half Life.

 

Bioshock games (and possibly System Shocks) - I really like the art direction of every single one of the games in the series, but again, I feel like I will become incredibly bored because of the FPS stuff and I'd rather just play them for the story and art than any kind of actual gameplay. For whatever reason, Bioshock 2 actually seems like the one I'd enjoy the most.

 

Deus Ex and Human Revolution - Seeing a trend? Another critically acclaimed story FPS that I probably will never get around to. Out of all of the listed games, these might be the most likely I will play given a decade of time.

 

Far Cry 2 - A game of annoyances? Why? Emergent, sure, but I would never play it to the end. It's more socially acceptable to play a Grand Theft Auto game and never fuck with the story or finish the actual game itself, but not Far Cry 2. Also, FPS again.

 

Mass Effect, all of them - Never going to do these. I don't even like hearing people talk about them. They just seem like a mess of choices wrapped up in a bunch of tedious dialogue while you just kind of shoot things. I'm sure I've pretty much gotten the effect of these games by playing adventures all of my life. Good thing is the hype for the Mass Effect games seems pretty much dead about now and I haven't heard them talked about for a while.

 

League of Legends or DOTA 2 - Why? League is a mess of art direction chock full of ripped off or hyper generic characters (plus all of the women have the same push up bra I guess). DOTA 2 just seems boring. I pretty much will not deal with any game that takes a massive amount of time to get in to and be somewhat good before in order to prevent being villified by the community.

 

Surprised at all of the disinterest in the Rayman games here. I've pretty much enjoyed all of them after the first, Rayman 2 for Dreamcast being one of my favorite games ever. The first Rayman is just okay, but I will admit his character design is a bit bizarre. However bizarre as it is, I've always loved the limbless thing and I even use to design my own characters without limbs for a while in sixth and seventh grade. Plus most of the Rabbids spin offs are actually pretty great, even though they've very much worn out their welcome and I wouldn't recommend playing any after Travels in Time. Rabbids Go Home was amazing.

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