Life

[Zeusthecat]

Life is a crazy awesome whirlwind right now.

 

Our baby boy is now 7 weeks old and our daughter started preschool last month. Between work, helping my wife as much as I can with him, and spending the rest of my time doing things with my daughter, there hasn't been much time for anything else. To add even more, we decided two weeks ago that we would check with our lender to see if it would be worth it to refinance our house. After running the numbers she was confident that home prices have gone up enough for us to get out of our FHA loan and refinance into a conventional loan. Unfortunately that meant we needed an appraisal so last week I spent every moment I could afford sprucing things up and getting a bunch of yardwork done just to make sure we had every possible advantage. We hope to hear the results today and I am nervous as hell. Either it comes in high enough and our mortgage payments drop substantially or it doesn't and we are out another $500. I suppose either way it is a gamble that was worth taking.

 

Despite the nonstop barrage of stuff going on and never having a break, I am actually really happy with where I am in life. Sure it would be nice to get some of that free time back to play video games and do other things I enjoy but it really is rewarding being a parent and I'm trying to enjoy and reflect on how special all of these moments are. I've spent so much of my life up to this point looking towards the future and what needs to happen next to get me where I want to be and I feel like the things I look forward to now are much less significant than the things that have already happened and are right in front of me. It is pretty fucking surreal and I feel incredibly fortunate.

 

Now I just need to realize my lifelong dream of retiring by the age of 32. 4 more years.

[Justin Leego]

Aww, Twig, that's awkward, if he sorts his diet and gets on a fitness trip will it validate his belief that changing sexuality is as simple as losing weight? Because it would be awesome for him to become happier with his bodily form. It could still acquaint him further with the struggles of changing deeply held beliefs.

 

Either way I think it's possible to support the notion that we are born partially broken (and, if it's not too much of a contradicton in terms, very much sturdy, working, and capable of being "whole enough") while at the same time embracing an understanding of alternate sexualities that might first appear foreign or in fact not so foreign to those that are our own.

 

Hope your mum's situation clears up soon. And I don't mean that in a "your mum" joke kind of way.

 

Zeus, sounds like you are working hard and enjoying it! Good stuff!

[Twig]

Honestly, I don't know. I want to believe he'll change some day, but he's just as old as me, and I got over my weird mid-western-raised issues with Different People years ago. His dad's a preacher, and, well, ugh. I wish he was at least an all-around asshole so I could ignore him altogether! (I don't really wish that.) But he's just a super super nice person, always helping his friends, even when it's inconvenient for him. So I still hold out hope. But it's so strongly ingrained into his entire belief system that I worry my hope is misplaced. I lost a lot of respect for him the day that happened.

[Justin Leego]

Well if there are professional family loyalties at play then extracting oneself from that particular mesh of beliefs can be a bit more complicated, painful. More hairs on the removable plaster as it were.

[Nachimir]

I thought when I moved to London for this job I'd have time for a social life and some dating. Ha. ha. ha.

[Twig]

Yeah.

 

Friend aside, I'll probably finally have a new roommate by the end of this week. Seems to be proceeding according to plan. The only problem is... I still don't have a job. and I might end up with a job in another city slash state. In which case I would immediately be abandoning this guy. (I'd probably offer to pay for a month or two just in case he couldn't find a replacement for ME fast enough, but I can only do so much. Anyway. AHHH.) I don't really have a choice in the matter, obviously, 'cause I'm getting desperate for money. Hnnngh.

 

Too much stressful shit going on at once I'm going to explode.

[Armchair General]

Twig, you shouldn't definitely tell your mother you are worried about what the 'spot' on her brain is and that she should tell you all about it. I don't mean to doom monger but if this turns out to be something bad, there may be a million things you wished you had said etc but didn't. I've seen lots of times where someone kept symptoms secret and they turn out bad and their family wished so hard they said something about it.

 

I'm not saying your Mum (I'm British) has a serious illness, just that you should air those feelings and tell your Mum that you not knowing is worse.

 

Do it dude!

[Twig]

Well, she's definitely taking it seriously (or at least my dad is making her!), so I'm not worried in that regard. But yes you're right, I should say something.

[Argobot]

I don't really post here, but this place seems pretty cathartic, so here it goes:

 

Two weeks ago I moved from DC to Seattle, where I will be starting grad school. I'm living in a new city, where I don't know many people, while my friends and family (including, for the time being, my boyfriend) are still in the East Coast. It's a strange situation on its own, but add to that my mounting worry over grad school and how exactly I'm going to afford going to school full time (hopefully find a part time job, I guess??), and you get a weird head space that I haven't been able to get out of. I'm excited and also terrified, but hopefully my situation will normalize once I get more familiar with my new home.

[Patrick R]

How much Frasier have you watched in preparation? 

[Twig]

That sounds exactly like when I went to grad school (although it was in Redmond!). It subsided pretty quickly once school actually started and I met new people.

[miffy495]

Yeah, once things get rolling you don't generally have time to worry about stuff any more. On the plus side, you're going to grad school! You're doing new and exciting things! I'm sure it'll work out great.

 

 

Update: A week into my first school year as a teacher and I no longer have time to worry about stuff either. On the plus side, I'm having a great time, and a team-mate and I are coming up with a freaking AWESOME outline for how we're going to cover the science curriculum for the year. I'm really excited about this one, and it's going to be a lot of fun. Every meeting with my team has had me come out feeling either super excited. My glaring weakness remains gym class, but whatever, I'll work something out. Everything else is going great. The fact that my contract is only through December is making me super sad now, as it means I'll be leaving this team and joining the substitute teacher roster in only 15 more weeks. It's unreal to me that my time here is 1/16th over already. Still, going to make the most of this time and hopefully start to make a name for myself. Life is good.

[Thrik]

I've always found it pretty daunting going into uncharted territory, whether it's starting college or starting a new job. The worst was probably college as I knew I was stuck there for years and felt a pressure to do things right, get sorted socially before cliques started developing, etc.

Funnily enough, moving to a new city where I didn't know anybody didn't phase me much, but I think that was because I knew I could always move if I wanted to. I guess the lack of control of both moving and starting a long uni stint must be difficult.

I have coped in all such situations by completely immersing myself in my new environment. Just go right ahead and jump into activity/social clubs, exploring the area, and get involved with anything you possibly can — start saying 'yes' to everything like Jim Carrey. It's your opportunity to be and do whatever you want, free of the eyes and expectations of those you know.

[osmosisch]

I've always had trouble understanding people who can just uproot themselves and move. I tried it once and hated the experience of being away from all the friends and family that I'd spent so much time building up relationships with. It felt like a waste.

 

There's a lot of value in changing your context to be sure, but I'd rather save that for immersive holidays.

 

Ah well, takes all kinds. I wish you best of luck Argobot. I'm sure you'll manage

[Thrik]

I personally started to find being constantly surrounded by the town and people that I'd grown up with claustrophobic. Also, there was nothing for my career there. I'm happier than ever now that I've developed new friendships, a relationship, and a new general way of life by breaking all those old habits.

[shammack]

I've always had trouble understanding people who can just uproot themselves and move. I tried it once and hated the experience of being away from all the friends and family that I'd spent so much time building up relationships with. It felt like a waste.

 

You can avoid this problem by not having any friends in the first place.

[syntheticgerbil]

I just imagine moving to another state is the most expensive and shocking thing to get used to ever. Is it only for people with not too many belongings?

[tegan]

You can avoid this problem by not having any friends in the first place.

 

I'm thinking of moving to Halifax next year, and this has been kind of a problem. Since moving to Moncton I've kept one friend that I see infrequently and made one friend that I see even less frequently. I don't know how I feel about going from few friends to two friends to no friends.

[Thrik]

Join things, make new ones!

[shammack]

I just imagine moving to another state is the most expensive and shocking thing to get used to ever. Is it only for people with not too many belongings?

 

When I moved from Florida to California last year, I brought what I could fit into my car and that was it. I got a one-bedroom apartment, but I just put all my stuff in the bedroom, and the living room was completely empty. I didn't have any furniture except a cheap desk and chair that I bought when I got here and an air mattress (which quickly deflated and I replaced with an Ikea floor mattress, until subbes came to visit and couldn't stand sleeping on it and made me buy an actual bed).

 

I lived like that for about six months until subbes found a job here and moved out here with me, at which point we hired movers to bring all the rest of the stuff from our old apartment. When that stuff arrived, that was expensive and shocking. I immediately started feeling sort of claustrophobic and burdened by the amount of stuff we had, after realizing I'd been getting along just fine without (most of) it. That was the closest I ever came to understanding the "your possessions end up owning you, maaan" hippie mindset which I'd always found irritating.

[dibs]

I'm moving to a New city where I know few people next weekend so I shall join things as we have been advised.

[Roderick]

Moving will make you reconsider your belongings. After moving multiple times, I've adopted a healthy attitude of not wanting to own anything superfluous. It's totally a personal choice. I know people who are real collectors, they collect everything. I'm pretty much the opposite, currently giving away vast swathes of belongings I've had for years.

The less I own, the more collected and clean I feel, somehow.

[Twig]

I've always had trouble understanding people who can just uproot themselves and move. I tried it once and hated the experience of being away from all the friends and family that I'd spent so much time building up relationships with. It felt like a waste.

It does suck to leave behind everyone and everything you know, but I've done it three times now - home -> bachelor's -> master's -> work - and I kind of want to do it again. And again and again. (Maybe four if you count my six-month excursion in Japan, but I was around people I already knew, in the same program as me, so that probably DOESN'T count.)

 

It's just so AWESOME to be in a new place with new things to do and see, and every time I am, I get better and better at being an outgoing person. I'm still super shy though. O:

 

Rodi: I'm the same way. Moving all that shit I've collected gets more and more tedious. the only thing I can't yet make myself give up are my books and comics. Not like, individual issues, but the collected volumes of comics.

 

Also, I realized yesterday that this is actually the first time I haven't moved when my lease was up in six years. Not always to new cities, but at least to new apartments. WACKY.

[Merus]

Voted today! While it's not exactly an inspiring choice this year, I look at the ballot and all the minor parties and how a 'personality-focused campaign' these days means that we kind of already have come to agreement on a lot of policies and I think we could have it so much worse as a democracy.

[Hermie]

It's been one year and some months since I did my big uprooting and moved to another country to be with my girlfriend. It's been ups and downs, and I don't regret it, but we have had a hard time making proper friends. We're both kinda socially awkward, so meeting new people or joining things always stops short for reasons like "but what if they're weird? Or we are the weird ones?". That in addition to neither of us speaking the language fluently, means we rarely meet people outside of work.

My girlfriends' office mates are cool, two of them are nerdy, one a gamer, so we hang out with them occasionally. But they already have their own existing social circles, and they're both heavy into Trance music and that whole scene, which kinda leaves us out of it. As for my office, the only guy I have anything in common with also has a really... annoying personality.

 

It might be in part because moving here was always a temporary step, as we want to move back to Norway eventually. (Immigration laws are tricky) But yeah, we're definitely not very happy in terms of social interaction, other than each other.

 

 

(Sorry Argo, hope I didn't scare you)