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I never can wrap my head around that. If I had a good time and don't have anything else planned, why not go on a second date? Maybe that's why I'm thought of as a heartless ladykiller...

 

I don't think that it's good to continue seeing someone after you've decided the chemistry isn't to your liking. It might indeed provide some light entertainment, but leading anyone on in that way is asking for trouble. I would imagine that most people have plenty of friends who they can engage in casual social activities with.

 

C'est la vie indeed, Badfinger. It was only one date, it's good that she made her (lack of) intentions clear to you early on. You can now focus on the next catch! :tup:

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I did my second day of the running today even though my legs were still sore from Monday. Now they are super sore. I'm looking forward to Friday when I can look forward to two full days of rest before running again. Also what is this why am I still fat, aren't I supposed to have lost like a hundred pounds by now?

 

And then I pan-fried some fish for lunch, which I've never done before because I'm a horrible person who doesn't know how to cook. It tasted pretty okay! I think I cooked it too long. Live and learn.

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I've thought about this a little since I've been dating again. There are some people I've been on dates with who I'd be glad to have as friends, but the idea of relationship/sex having been on the table at all seems to forbid it due the awkwardness of one person maybe feeling something the other doesn't, and nobody feeling like they can state the unvarnished truth without becoming immensely vulnerable or feeling like a monster.

 

We are such fucking weird creatures.

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It is pretty shitty Nachimir, and I have indeed wanted to put forth the 'let's be friends' idea before after meeting someone who's a great laugh but not really someone I'd want to pursue romantically. But then I realise that when girls have done that same thing to me, I'd probably prefer to not carry on being their friend because I still fancy them. :(

 

It obviously gets much harder when the 'been on a date' thing has happened; for girls you've just come to know through various circumstances it's not so much an issue. I guess we busy adults all have friends already, so we're not looking to fill that particular spot with people we met online/in a bar/whatever with the intention of possibly finding lurve — easier to just say goodbye in the event of failure.

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Yeah, I guess so. There's a lot of cultural staging and expectation around that first date.

 

Personally I've learned to deal quite well with it, though I probably couldn't if I was developing strong feelings rather than just attraction. The idea that there are more people out there is a crucial part of that, and whenever I've felt like there aren't, it's meant I'm either living in the wrong place or not doing enough to meet new people.

 

I didn't used to deal with this stuff well in my early twenties, when I had a head full of bullshit like ladder theory, but now I think more like this.

Edited by Nachimir

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It is pretty shitty Nachimir, and I have indeed wanted to put forth the 'let's be friends' idea before after meeting someone who's a great laugh but not really someone I'd want to pursue romantically. But then I realise that when girls have done that same thing to me, I'd probably prefer to not carry on being their friend because I still fancy them. :(

 

It obviously gets much harder when the 'been on a date' thing has happened; for girls you've just come to know through various circumstances it's not so much an issue. I guess we busy adults all have friends already, so we're not looking to fill that particular spot with people we met online/in a bar/whatever with the intention of possibly finding lurve — easier to just say goodbye in the event of failure.

 

That's a great way to put it, Thrik. Sorry for being so glib, everyone! I thought the "heartless ladykiller" would tip people off.

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I don't think that it's good to continue seeing someone after you've decided the chemistry isn't to your liking. It might indeed provide some light entertainment, but leading anyone on in that way is asking for trouble. I would imagine that most people have plenty of friends who they can engage in casual social activities with.

 

C'est la vie indeed, Badfinger. It was only one date, it's good that she made her (lack of) intentions clear to you early on. You can now focus on the next catch! :tup:

 

Oh yeah, totally. All the feedback I got was positive though, so it was a bit of a letdown. I was feeling anxious today when she didn't jump at the idea right away. Went to the gym, she got back to me, oh well. Felt sad, made a post, we talked a little more and it's fine. Made dinner, enjoying some (a) whisky, come back to discussion agreeing how physiologically strange human beings are.

 

My mindset going on a date is I PLAN to have fun. So the fact that I had a good time doing a fun thing is not surprising. I'd enjoy having her as a friend, but I don't think that sort of thing works from her perspective. Which is not to say it's never happened before, just that I don't think that's where her headspace is. I've been on dates where there was chemistry and then it didn't work out and we ended up being friends. At one point I was the low rent version of Good Luck Chuck where ladies would go on a date or two with me, have a great time, and then reunite with a previous boyfriend to "try and make it work". Like, 3-4 women. This really happened, and basically in succession. It was weird, let me tell you.

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Went to the dentist yesterday and had a deep cleaning.  :tmeh:

 

Also, I had a ton of cavities and have two more appointments within the week.  :tdown:

 

Also, it's going to cost me $1700 I can't afford.  :tdown:

 

On the positive side... I get to keep my teeth and don't need surgery?

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I did my second day of the running today even though my legs were still sore from Monday. Now they are super sore. I'm looking forward to Friday when I can look forward to two full days of rest before running again. Also what is this why am I still fat, aren't I supposed to have lost like a hundred pounds by now?

 

Be warned: Friday's going to be fucking rough. And then when you go running on Monday you'll be amazed how much you've already improved.

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I'm a TA for an Algorithms class, currently grading homework.

 

Fully half of the students clearly cheated. 

 

I want to punch something.

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Spoilered to avoid google-able job woes:

This class is murdering me. Because they're third grade, they're at the age where behaviour stuff is just beginning to emerge and testing is just happening mid-year for a lot of real troubled kids. In the past two months, the number of kids in my class on special behaviour plans has doubled. My class is 26 students, ideal for this age is 16 - 20. I now have fully a third of my class on behaviour plans for destructive and/or defiant behaviour (which, oddly, is nearly the exact number of students that my class is above the target). Administration thinks that the solution to this is an early morning meeting every Monday where they scrutinize my plans for the week into the ground. I am crying in the shower every morning and dead-eyed after work to the point that my friends and partner are becoming intensely worried about me.

 

10 more weeks until this contract is up. That means that I'm done 16 of them. This class is seriously making me reconsider whether I want to continue teaching. After dedicating myself to this for 8 years of university and having an experience with a class from September to December that was fucking extraordinary and made me love teaching more than anything, this group of kids just makes me want to throw it all in. I'm so fucking tired. Fuck everything.

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You need to cut yourself a lot of slack and just pull through. As a teacher you want to do as well as you can for all of your pupils, but you need to recognise a situation that has been made impossible for you to do that. So do what you can, but take care of yourself and don't expect everything to go perfectly or even well.

Also, fuck them for shifting the blame to you and making you defend your plans.

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Also, fuck them for shifting the blame to you and making you defend your plans.

 

Yeah, that seems like a decades-obsolete management strategy. If an employee is struggling, the answer is more oversight! More cooks in the kitchen will fix that broth up right.

 

Miffy, I feel for you. I know it's not really the same thing, but a lot of this year has been spent being the best damn TA I can be in a system seemingly designed to enforce complacency and leave students behind. I'm lucky that I'm finding myself rising to the occasion just the little bit that all the shit allows; other TAs are not and it hurts everyone. I know you've got a lot of love for your job and your kids, so just spend it on both and do your best to sideline Nabokov's terrible turtles. Whatever you accomplish, it's the best you can do and it'll have to be enough.

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I did my second day of the running today even though my legs were still sore from Monday. Now they are super sore. I'm looking forward to Friday when I can look forward to two full days of rest before running again. Also what is this why am I still fat, aren't I supposed to have lost like a hundred pounds by now?

 

Every time I've gotten back into running after taking some time away from it, I've had the same problem. Usually it's because I forget to stretch enough. Otherwise, a long soak in hot water can help too (which I know sounds super-creepy as advice from a stranger on the internet). 

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Ooh speaking of dating, I signed up to online dating for the first time. SO MANY STORIES!!!

 

I felt horrible about it at first, obviously, because this feels like admitting you have some disease. It's cool though, the girls are nice and it doesn't feel that weird once you're in it!

 

Some downers first: The first thing I had to do was subscribe to a premium account so I could change my name. Apparently I had signed up when I was 14 and registered the name I_Smell as a way of trolling myself in the future. Real funny, idiot :I

Then I went on a date and she never showed up, I went on another and that cancelled an hour before. Things still suck- it happens!

 

Here's the up-side: I went on 3 dates so far. They were fun! The first two were very nice, and sweet and smiled n laughed a lot, but I just couldn't get em to wake up and be a bit more excited, y'know? It was nice though, I had a fun day.

The third one I got there, and within 20 minutes she tells me she works in the pornography industry. That one was pretty special, she was way more exciting, more forward, we had fun.

 

That's the short blurb of it, but the whole thing's a fun adventure.

I got invited to a BDSM party twice. I think they target me because I'm nice :[

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You didn't change your name to i_sub or something did you?

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Apparently I had signed up when I was 14 and registered the name I_Smell as a way of trolling myself in the future. Real funny, idiot :I

 

*belly laugh*

 

 

 

this group of kids just makes me want to throw it all in. I'm so fucking tired.

 

Oh man, I'm so sorry to read this Miffy. I'd advise saving and taking some time out as soon as you can. I know a teacher in a similar, but permanent, position who had to take time off for stress.

 

Like him, with hindsight you possibly won't want to give up on teaching, but I hope you can find a way through these next ten weeks. Do your friends and girlfriend know the extent of the situation? It sucks so hard that your administration's first stop isn't just, you know, supporting you.

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Every time I've gotten back into running after taking some time away from it, I've had the same problem. Usually it's because I forget to stretch enough. Otherwise, a long soak in hot water can help too (which I know sounds super-creepy as advice from a stranger on the internet). 

Ooo la la!

 

I did forget to stretch on the first day, but I remembered on the second day! It's possible I didn't stretch enough, but I just assumed it was because these are muscles I otherwise never utilize. I mean, even a slight jog tends to use different muscles than a brisk walk. Human body, you so cray cray and complicated.

 

Also, I have been running on my parents' treadmill, but I'm wondering if I should just suck it up and run outside instead. My parents live in a ridiculously in-the-middle-of-nowhere neighborhood with perpetually empty streets, and aside from the freak snow a couple nights ago, it's pretty warm. But the treadmill's RIGHT THERE! And I have a weird complex about other people watching me do things and I'm super self-conscious, even though logically I know no one gives a shit. Blargh.

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Oh yes, stretching. If indont do it right then my left leg will be completely numb in around mins.

 

Edit: Oh yes, stretching. If I don't do it right then my left leg will be completely numb in around 20 mins.

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Also, I have been running on my parents' treadmill, but I'm wondering if I should just suck it up and run outside instead. My parents live in a ridiculously in-the-middle-of-nowhere neighborhood with perpetually empty streets, and aside from the freak snow a couple nights ago, it's pretty warm. But the treadmill's RIGHT THERE! And I have a weird complex about other people watching me do things and I'm super self-conscious, even though logically I know no one gives a shit. Blargh.

 

What I don't like about treadmills is that they tend to make me want to pick a pace and stick with it, which can be good, but doesn't fit with how I tend to run. Especially when I'm getting back in the habit, I usually start off at a moderate pace, then slow down if needed. When I'm in better shape, I usually let the music I'm listening to dictate my pace. Either way, I hate messing with the controls mid-run is always a pain.

 

I've reached a point now where I should probably start running farther, but I just like getting outside and going for shorter runs. It becomes kind of meditative after a while, which has really helped me out with some of the anxiety issues I've been having. Then again, I totally get not wanting people looking at you. 

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I was thinking about posting something similar.  Curious when people here talk about stretching, are they meaning the traditional type of stretching, or the more modern warm up?

 

Since getting into Crossfit briefly about a year ago, that convinced me that even in working out by myself I needed to rethink stretching.  I go with a general warmup now and do self muscle massage when done to work out soreness.  I do some stretching, but it's not connected to working out, I just know I tend to be on the tight/rigid side and there are certain types of flexibility and mobility I want to maintain. 

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Stretching feels really good and is very relaxing. That plus work with a foam roller and flexibility exercises is good stuff.

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Since March, I've been trying to get back to working out on a regular basis.  I have a typical love/hate relationship with fitness.  Part of me actually quite enjoys working out, but I tend to be horribly self-motivated.  I liked the Crossfit classes, as they gave me a lot of good motivation, but ultimately were just too intense for my level of fitness. 

 

Now I'm doing a kettleball (bell) workout at home.  300 swings in sets of 50, and between each set do 50 reps of a combination of sit-ups, pushups, squats, various dumbbell exercises, and burpees. 

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