Jump to content
gdf

Life

Recommended Posts

Yeah, I was more referring to the Catholic university part, anyway. Our department chair might have a secret bastard daughter he's pulling strings to get accepted here, our university president might be openly involved in racketeering, but heaven forbid your religion or dress code are a hair less than kosher. It doesn't really get me down that often -- ties and cufflinks are almost as fun accessories as nail polish and eyeliner.

 

 

Speaking of all that, I might as well do a little life update myself. After wasting all of last semester trying to learn enough Italian and German to read the hundred-book bibliography I'd put together for my dissertation, I finally admitted to myself I was being naive. Instead, I just started writing my prospectus, the twenty-page proposal that formally begins my dissertation, and got done after about a month. It's submitted for review as of three days ago and I can expect my advisor to rubber-stamp it because he's on sabbatical and too busy playing XCOM on pain meds.

 

So basically, a month of hard work and the ball's right back in my court. Grad school! I figure I'll focus on getting one of my seminar papers published, as if it were so easy, and then begin writing chapters of my dissertation in earnest this summer. Skipping out on the big Kalamazoo conference this time will help, since it's an exhausting week of nothing that's been getting worse every year.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm trying to develop a sense of style.  Because I am a fattie (stfu, I'm reclaiming it) I've been hiding in all-black, and when I have "dressed up" it's been poorly-done and just embarrassing for all concerned.  

 

I like to think I'm slowly improving, though I am considering hiring a personal stylist for an hour or two to help me go through my closet, throw out stuff that clearly isn't working but I don't know it, and make me a list of "how to get dressed" algorithms I can blindly follow.  Also help me buy some jeans; jeans are .

 

That said, I will never be able to paint my own nails, or be the kind of woman who gets manicures.  I spend too much time typing to be able to deal with that shit.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It can be a huge obstacle to develop a style that fits you. I think a lot of people struggle with that, and your teens/twenties/heck, thirties, are perfect for figuring all that out, shifting dress styles in and out, until you hit upon something that makes you look like Sean Connery (or in the case of the ladies, Klaus Nomi), or at least makes you feel comfortable.

 

I can also relate to Stephen Merchant, who in his fantastic Ricky Gervais Guide To podcasts spoke about how he looked kinda bad, no matter what he wore. When he wears a suit, he knows that "that's the best I'll ever look." As for myself, I've taken to wearing business casual. Just a sharp and clean look with dress shirts and sweaters, nothing too extravagant, but I am susceptible to whimsy. I  might just pop a skull & crossbones pin on there somewhere.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, I was more referring to the Catholic university part, anyway. Our department chair might have a secret bastard daughter he's pulling strings to get accepted here, our university president might be openly involved in racketeering, but heaven forbid your religion or dress code are a hair less than kosher. It doesn't really get me down that often -- ties and cufflinks are almost as fun accessories as nail polish and eyeliner.

 

 

Speaking of all that, I might as well do a little life update myself. After wasting all of last semester trying to learn enough Italian and German to read the hundred-book bibliography I'd put together for my dissertation, I finally admitted to myself I was being naive. Instead, I just started writing my prospectus, the twenty-page proposal that formally begins my dissertation, and got done after about a month. It's submitted for review as of three days ago and I can expect my advisor to rubber-stamp it because he's on sabbatical and too busy playing XCOM on pain meds.

 

So basically, a month of hard work and the ball's right back in my court. Grad school! I figure I'll focus on getting one of my seminar papers published, as if it were so easy, and then begin writing chapters of my dissertation in earnest this summer. Skipping out on the big Kalamazoo conference this time will help, since it's an exhausting week of nothing that's been getting worse every year.

 

Ugh, academia dissertations. I've no idea how it works in history as a subject, but in computer graphics they are the most long winded useless things ever. Actually useful research is usually just a blog post with a few paragraphs and code snippets, "here's a neat  thing, and here's how you do it!" Done. The dissertations on the other hand a fantastically cross referenced, bibliographied to hell and back, codically organized messes of something that's not useful to anyone.

 

So I'm wondering if it's any different where you are, is anyone actually going to read your dissertation to be interested in it or is it some nightmare meant to impress in terms of sheer analytic obsessive compulsiveness?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I embargoed my thesis so nobody had to pretend to care to read it:P horrific things. I went to work in industry and th back to academia and now that I'm back in industry I want to stay here. Doing a good bloody job and writing a short report on it beats scrambling for funding and waiting months for papers any day for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So I'm wondering if it's any different where you are, is anyone actually going to read your dissertation to be interested in it or is it some nightmare meant to impress in terms of sheer analytic obsessive compulsiveness?

 

Both, I think? Speaking in an ideal sense, a history dissertation should be the bones for your first book, so that you only have to publish one more to qualify for tenure at most American schools. Sometimes that doesn't work out and you end up dicing up your dissertation into four or five articles, which is seen as less than optimal from a career standpoint. If you're desperate, you can publish with Brill or American University Press, who'll take anything, but that's usually seen for the cop-out it is.

 

I think the fact that there's not much of an industry outside academia for history postgrads means that dissertating is serious business. You can do fine just publishing a ton of articles when you're new, but there's a general perception that you should transition to monographs after ten or fifteen years in the field, which the dissertation is meant to prepare for.

 

 

EDIT: My own dissertation is fascinating, of course. No one's done any research on it in English and something authoritative should get a lot of play. But I know other people who don't expect to get much out of theirs and are already making alternate plans. The politics of academic publication are incredibly boring to me, in all honesty. I just want to write about cool stuff.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ugh, academia dissertations. I've no idea how it works in history as a subject, but in computer graphics they are the most long winded useless things ever. Actually useful research is usually just a blog post with a few paragraphs and code snippets, "here's a neat  thing, and here's how you do it!" Done. The dissertations on the other hand a fantastically cross referenced, bibliographied to hell and back, codically organized messes of something that's not useful to anyone.

 

So I'm wondering if it's any different where you are, is anyone actually going to read your dissertation to be interested in it or is it some nightmare meant to impress in terms of sheer analytic obsessive compulsiveness?

My dissertation was basically the papers I published/tried to get published during my PhD with an introduction and discussion bolted to either end. And of course the acknowledgements (the only part anyone will ever read).

 

Amusingly, I'm proudest of the cover in the end which I also made.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm trying to develop a sense of style.  Because I am a fattie (stfu, I'm reclaiming it) I've been hiding in all-black, and when I have "dressed up" it's been poorly-done and just embarrassing for all concerned.

 

I've been told this book is a good resource. I find that it is easier for women to pull off lookin' stylin when fat than it is for dudes. All the large dude clothing is loose and formless, it's like wearing a tent. Having dispensed with 60 of my erstwhile lbs over the past year and some, I am confused as to why I didn't do so a couple of decades ago. :shifty: I guess it took me a while to find a dispensation method I enjoyed. Turns out fasting is not only quite doable, but feels great.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My tailor tells me I'm losing weight but, as I'm sure the GDC meetup pictures will show, it's sort of tricky to tell.  Har har.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was cleaning a glass and it shattered in my hand, which gave me a bit of a gash in a very difficult-to-bandage area. It's my drawing hand, too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So I dreamed there was a new writer at Rock Paper Shotgun and it was tegan. I saw the introductory post and everything. I need to spend less time online.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

24/7 Pokémon coverage, weekly retrospectives on how The World Ends With You is an under-appreciated gem, "Gameboy Micro Appreciation Month," and rampant lesbianism.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You totally got my vote with one of those ideas.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had to help my girlfriend put her cat down tonight. I've been with my girlfriend for nearly six years now, so I knew this cat very well. Not once in all the time I've known him has this cat bit or scratched anyone. He was one of the sweetest animals I've ever known. He hadn't eaten since Easter, and today any time he tried to even drink water he'd go and throw up bile for a while. He would have been 20 later this month, and had been slowing down a lot for a while. All signs point to his kidneys simply having packed it in for good sometime Monday. I'm now trying to focus on work while feeling like complete crap. I'm just kind of too busy to have time to feel feelings right now, and that makes me feel horrible too. I won't have the free time to feel bad about this for two weeks yet, which sucks a lot. Just wanted to air this online, as I need to get it off my chest somewhere and I've had to be the strong one for my girlfriend so I can't break down over this to her. I'm fucking shattered, but don't really have an opportunity to let that happen. Not a good day.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If it makes you feel better, I first read that as putting her car down and I was very confused and amused for half a second as I imagined you both at a garage watching it roll by for the last time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The weirdest thing about Roger Ebert dying today is finding his last ever blog post from just two days ago. It's an odd mixture of him showing off all of the plans that he had for the future and something that sounds almost like he knew he was going to die.

 

 

Thank you. Forty-six years ago on April 3, 1967, I became the film critic for the Chicago Sun-Times. Some of you have read my reviews and columns and even written to me since that time. Others were introduced to my film criticism through the television show, my books, the website, the film festival, or the Ebert Club and newsletter.  However you came to know me, I'm glad you did and thank you for being the best readers any film critic could ask for.

[...]

So on this day of reflection I say again, thank you for going on this journey with me. I'll see you at the movies.

 

Reading this feels really creepy to me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, he'd just been re-diagnosed with cancer at that point, so it's no coincidence.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What a loss! The video game community had, of course, his differences with the man, but his piercing insight into film stands beyond question. He wrote things of inspiring depth. Sad to see him go!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I finally got to talk with Blue Cross about getting paid for the time I've missed. I should hear back from them soon to finish everything up. Here's hoping it's easier to get financial help than it was financial help!

 

 

By the way, sorry if I've been all up in everyone's business about the gay thing lately. I came out to my friends and family three years ago and they all either abandoned me or got really abusive. I moved to a new city last year to try to get a fresh start, but right now I'm basically in the closet in real life among the few friends that I have here. Being out on the internet makes me feel like I'm at least making some progress. This is a big part of the depression I've been feeling lately, but I haven't felt comfortable letting any doctors or Blue Cross people know about my situation. My old family doctor was pretty firmly against it and told my parents not to help me. It's been rough.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My old family doctor was pretty firmly against it and told my parents not to help me. It's been rough.

 

Fuck, that's horrible. I'm sure you could find a non-homophobic doctor pretty easily though (Canada's pretty liberal in general, right?).

 

I hadn't noticed you talking about the gay thing, but I just want to say that coming out to your friends and family was a massive step, so well done, and don't let yourself slip back into the closet! Just remember, you've already done the hardest version of it, you just have to keep going. If your new friends/doctors/etc have a problem with you being gay, they're scum, you don't want to be wasting any time getting to know them. Especially as it's making your depression worse, sounds to me like it would be well worth biting the bullet and risking losing one or two arseholes from your life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, I came here to say that I've quit my job in London and am now staying with my parents while I look for a new job in Cambridge so I can move there with my girlfriend and be able to afford to rent somewhere decent. So a bit of a back-step in anticipation of a big forward-step.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just extensively updated my Linkedin for the first time in 3 years and now I feel like I've been majorly productive the last five years of my life after writing it. I suppose I may have really been productive then. Time to balance that out with more video games.

 

Kidding. Kind of.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I came out to my friends and family three years ago and they all either abandoned me or got really abusive. I moved to a new city last year to try to get a fresh start, but right now I'm basically in the closet in real life among the few friends that I have here. Being out on the internet makes me feel like I'm at least making some progress. This is a big part of the depression I've been feeling lately, but I haven't felt comfortable letting any doctors or Blue Cross people know about my situation. My old family doctor was pretty firmly against it and told my parents not to help me. It's been rough.

Holy moly, no wonder you've been depressed! I can't add much to what Ben said. I had an overbearing, moralistic, sexually repressive parent, and that definitely gets better with distance. I hope at some point you have the courage and support you need to be out in the non-internet world, but for now I hope you get the solace, rest and support you must need. What you've been subjected to is super harsh.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×