Adulthood, Age, and Modernity

[feelthedarkness]

I brought up the reading more than YA fiction thing, but I also extend that all creative works, and said that I think it's important to challenge yourself from time to time. I think exclusively is my operative word. A lot of important creative works aren't easy, but pursuing the enjoyment of them gives you perspective to appreciate everything else. Like a Rashomon joke on the Simpsons. 

 

I don't want to dive too deep into the mechanics of metaphor, but while there is nothing wrong with eating chocolate, if you told me you choose between only eating chocolate and eating nothing, I would say they are both bad choices. Also, ascetics, if we're talking ascetics in religious terms, they're embarked on some deeply challenging endeavors!

[Griddlelol]

You will never be an adult.

You know what? I'm probably fine with that.

[MadJackalope]

Dan O'Brien wrote an article awhile back that kind of spoke to that idea, of never really being an "adult" http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-things-they-never-told-us/

Yeah it's a dumb list article but Dan O'Brien is actually a really good writer who uses the format pretty well. 


I've been thinking about buying a trailer home or something? Seems better than paying rent. Is that a good/bad idea?


I seem to have a much lower barrier to entry for what it means to be an adult. As soon as I can afford to own a pet, I will consider myself decently adultish. Oh yeah, and when I can stop deferring my student loans. 

[Merus]

Between this, the Zoe Quinn article, and most of the Cracked articles I've got saved to my pinboard, I think it's worth pointing out that Cracked use the list format to trick people into reading essays. We're not reacting to the existence of a list, but to the implication that it's a low-analysis collection of dubious facts. That's not a safe assumption with Cracked; I've seen a few of their articles which are literally republishing an essay the author wrote elsewhere, except they insert headers to number the paragraphs. Which, of course, raises the question of why people don't seem capable of reading an essay when they will read a 'list' with exactly the same content, except with numbered paragraphs.

 

But then I think about how headers and pictures are considered good practice for long articles anyway, and I guess aping a list format is sending a signal that this article can be consumed in bite-sized chunks, so you don't have to choose between it and a Facebook update.

[Gormongous]

Between this, the Zoe Quinn article, and most of the Cracked articles I've got saved to my pinboard, I think it's worth pointing out that Cracked use the list format to trick people into reading essays. We're not reacting to the existence of a list, but to the implication that it's a low-analysis collection of dubious facts. That's not a safe assumption with Cracked; I've seen a few of their articles which are literally republishing an essay the author wrote elsewhere, except they insert headers to number the paragraphs. Which, of course, raises the question of why people don't seem capable of reading an essay when they will read a 'list' with exactly the same content, except with numbered paragraphs.

 

But then I think about how headers and pictures are considered good practice for long articles anyway, and I guess aping a list format is sending a signal that this article can be consumed in bite-sized chunks, so you don't have to choose between it and a Facebook update.

 

One of the most common revise-and-resubmit comments I see for high-density academic articles is the suggestion of adding sub-headings to break it into sections. It's not new, although the use of numbering and a title to call it out is, at least a little bit.

[miffy495]

Today, I was legitimately stoked to go to a home furnishing store and buy proper glassware. I am a boring grown up who does boring grown up things, but I'm drinking my scotch from a very nice glass now rather than the Gremlins souvenir mug I have traditionally been using. I thought of this thread.

[Ben X]

 the Gremlins souvenir mug I have traditionally been using.

 

Pic please! (Also, well done on your new sig!)

[neonrev]

Today, I was legitimately stoked to go to a home furnishing store and buy proper glassware. I am a boring grown up who does boring grown up things, but I'm drinking my scotch from a very nice glass now rather than the Gremlins souvenir mug I have traditionally been using. I thought of this thread.

I also bought proper drinkware today and feel pretty good about it. My beer now comes in an attractive nonic glass. Tomorrow I construct a table. Being an adult to me means mostly being boring.

[prettyunsmart]

 

I brought up the reading more than YA fiction thing, but I also extend that all creative works, and said that I think it's important to challenge yourself from time to time. I think exclusively is my operative word. A lot of important creative works aren't easy, but pursuing the enjoyment of them gives you perspective to appreciate everything else. Like a Rashomon joke on the Simpsons. 

 

I don't want to dive too deep into the mechanics of metaphor, but while there is nothing wrong with eating chocolate, if you told me you choose between only eating chocolate and eating nothing, I would say they are both bad choices. Also, ascetics, if we're talking ascetics in religious terms, they're embarked on some deeply challenging endeavors!

 

I'm a firm believer in the idea that one of the most important functions of art is to generate empathy (I think one of the Thumbs has mentioned this on the cast before, so I don't want to act like I'm coming to this all on my own). As a result, I don't know if I really mind people reading works that aren't that difficult as much as I hope that they read things that offer some kind of perspective beyond their own experience. A term used earlier in this thread was "literary fiction," which these days often gets applied to books by people like Jonathan Franzen. As well-made as his book are, his focus on upper-middle class American white male ennui may not offer a fresh perspective to a white male upper-middle class reader in the way that a less "literary" work that centers on the experience of someone from a different background could.

 

I agree that most people could use the exercise in reading comprehension in reading more difficult books, but I'm generally more interested in getting people to read something that helps them better understand other peoples' situations.

[Denial]

Last week, I literally asked if there were any red wine glasses. For wine I had decanted.

 

I no longer know what I am.

[miffy495]

Pic please! (Also, well done on your new sig!)

 

EDIT: Also, it's a cup, not a mug. My bad. Don't know why I wrote mug.

[syntheticgerbil]

Today, I was legitimately stoked to go to a home furnishing store and buy proper glassware. I am a boring grown up who does boring grown up things, but I'm drinking my scotch from a very nice glass now rather than the Gremlins souvenir mug I have traditionally been using. I thought of this thread.

Are there Gremlins etched on to the glassware? For shame.

[neonrev]

Wait, you drink scotch from a pint glass? Sweet glass though.

[miffy495]

Yes, I did. Not a pint of scotch, but a pint glass that contained a normal amount of scotch.

[James]

i.e. half a pint.

[Ben X]

Nice glass.

[Bjorn]

Somewhat related to becoming an adult, I still have one odd vestige left over from my much younger days, which is I don't know how to respond to most baby announcements.  In my early 20s, usually when someone told me they were pregnant (or if a guy told me he had gotten a girl pregnant), it wasn't an occasion for joy.  It was because birth control failed, or someone made a bad decision about not using a condom.  So my reaction was usually, "Oh god, I'm so sorry, what are you guys going to do?"  I also probably reacted that way because I'm a terrible person.

 

Now, approaching middle age, almost everyone who tells me about a pregnancy is thrilled about it.  These are all committed couples who want a baby.  And yet, in the back of my brain, my reaction is still, "Oh god, I'm so sorry..." 

[miffy495]

Going through a teacher training program, a LOT of the women I was in school with were pretty much there for something to do until they started a family. It was actually startling to me how many of my friends were very excited about teaching "until things settle down and I can just be a mom." I didn't even realize going in that this would be such a common sentiment. Then there were all the friends I have OUTSIDE of teaching for whom, like you said about people in their 20s, the idea of a baby is a source of abject terror. As a result, about half of the "I think I'm pregnant" conversations that I've had have been ones of condolence, and the other half have been someone super excited about it. I've learned very well to show no emotion other than curiosity until the point at which I am positive about how the possible-mother feels. Usually that doesn't take long.

 

Friend: "I think I'm pregnant."

 

Me: "Wow, really?"

 

Friend: "YEAH! ISN'T IT GREAT?" or "Yeah. What the fuck am I going to do?"

 

Me: *reacts appropriately*

[Bjorn]

Friend: "I think I'm pregnant."

 

Me: "Wow, really?"

 

Friend: "YEAH! ISN'T IT GREAT?" or "Yeah. What the fuck am I going to do?"

 

Me: *reacts appropriately*

 

That's pretty much exactly how I've reacted over the last 10 years or so, once people started actually wanting kids.  My own reaction is definitely tainted by my own lack of interest in having biological kids.  Helping parent my wife's daughter was great, and I wouldn't trade that for the world, but I never had that drive to have a kid of my own, so the entire thing is a bit alien to me.  Which ties back into the greater adulthood thing for me, because it seems like being an adult should also entail wanting kids or settling down into a particular family structure, which I've never really desired. 

[Badfinger]

I just react with horror even when they want children. What are you doing with your life?!

 

As someone other people ostensibly see as an adult, I'm sometimes asked if I have children. I will usually say no, I'm not even married. Occasionally I will be told "Oh, that doesn't matter." Does to me! Sometimes I will say I'm too young to have kids. I'm 31, and damn if it isn't true.

[Mangela Lansbury]

I don't really register having children as a mark of adulthood, but I came of age around a bunch of older gay couples who that just wasn't an option for (not even adoption) so I might be biased.

[Bjorn]

I just react with horror even when they want children. What are you doing with your life?!

 

As someone other people ostensibly see as an adult, I'm sometimes asked if I have children. I will usually say no, I'm not even married. Occasionally I will be told "Oh, that doesn't matter." Does to me! Sometimes I will say I'm too young to have kids. I'm 31, and damn if it isn't true.

 

Most of my friends who are having kids are pushing (or past) 40, which is also crazy to me.  Like, they're going to be almost retired by the time their kid graduates college.  Having an empty nest at 37 is pretty much the best.  

[osmosisch]

Yeah, my mother had me young due to some ...interesting life decisions but I'm verry happy that she did. Having a gran who can do things with them is wonderful for my kids now. I regret how long it took me to get around to having children, though I do miss the freedom. We were especially unlucky in that it took like two years to actually get pregnant the first time.

[Dewar]

"unlucky"

 

[osmosisch]

It's easy to joke about, but man let me tell you: two years trying to have a baby will suck most of the joy out of your sex life.