Erkki Posted January 16, 2014 where's your head at? where is my head? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Merus Posted January 17, 2014 The Dark Forces review titles are a thing of beauty. STAR WARS: DARK FORCES IV: JEDI KNIGHT III: JEDI OUTCAST II: JEDI ACADEMY Edit: it turns out writing objective reviews is somewhat difficult! I have three-quarters of the Minecraft review done, including some jokes (I am making hay out of the primary interaction being punching landscape features, and Minecraft is especially suited to listing things and having those lists mean nothing). I am trying to decide if listing the game modes should be done in the second or third paragraphs, because it flows better in the second paragraph after I mention that there are four game modes, but most of the existing reviews avoid that kind of detail in paragraph 2. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TychoCelchuuu Posted January 17, 2014 Well take your time and make it good - that Minecraft review is the site's ticket to a payday, via an elaborate scheme I have yet to work out that ends with Notch retweeting the review to his six million followers. If it's any help for some games, especially games where the mechanics are sort of sparse, I include fairly detailed mechanical stuff in paragraph 2. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Apelsin Posted January 17, 2014 Maybe you can add an extra ad banner for that specific review Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TychoCelchuuu Posted January 18, 2014 Have you ever met someone and said to yourself "this person is my reason for existing. They give my life purpose" or anything like that? Today, I met that person. This series of tweets go on for a while and gets into stuff like the grand leftist conspiracy about net neutrality but I figured I'd cut it off there. This man is my website's reason for existing. He is my muse. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Twig Posted January 18, 2014 fucking CHRIST this guy needs to just post all that shit on a blog and THEN post a LINK to that on twitter how can anyone read this shit edit: Holy hell this guy is NUTS! I made the mistake of looking at some more tweets of his. This is goddamn gold! again edit: JESUS this is addictive. Has the gall to call an (admittedly dickish) atheist a bigot, then retweets a bunch of racist and sexist shit unironically. I should stop. I have to stop. I'm going to stop. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ihavefivehat Posted January 18, 2014 I know it would be awkward to have people who don't get the joke writing for your website, but I just keep imagining him as the author of a weekly rant-style objective editorial column. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juv3nal Posted January 18, 2014 Have you ever met someone and said to yourself "this person is my reason for existing. They give my life purpose" or anything like that? Today, I met that person. This series of tweets go on for a while and gets into stuff like the grand leftist conspiracy about net neutrality but I figured I'd cut it off there. This man is my website's reason for existing. He is my muse. He's...Canadian? The rest of us are sorry. Yes, all 35 million or thereabouts. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brannigan Posted January 18, 2014 I've gazed upon the void, and it has a wordpress blog. I love that 90% of the blog posts come off as if he's lecturing the reader, the amount of self righteousness and arrogance is spectacular. Anyone who uses "social activist" as an insult is adorable. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hermie Posted January 18, 2014 What did I just read? Wait,so if TotalBiscuit and Obama being popular doesn't lead to them "experts", why is putting degradingly sexualized stuff in a game justified if it sells more? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lu Posted January 18, 2014 Well, if you read the guy's profile description, it probably tells you all you need to know. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brannigan Posted January 18, 2014 That he's the hero we need to fight the progressive hordes? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bjorn Posted January 18, 2014 1300 followers? Please, please let them be people who are following him just to laugh at him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brannigan Posted January 18, 2014 I'm happy that it's not more. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
osmosisch Posted January 18, 2014 it turns out writing objective reviews is somewhat difficult!Yeah, no kidding! Being super busy at work atm doesn't help but still I am having a lot more trouble with this than I expected. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BadHat Posted January 18, 2014 That is... incredible. I mean clearly that guy's nuts but I've seen the basic sentiment behind what he wants out of "objective" criticism and I honestly have no idea what these people really want. I don't think they do, either. They say they want unbiased reviews which help them decide whether or not to drop dollars on a game, but they also rail against any criticism that might help them make that decision if they perceive it as biased. Which... can only conceivably be based on their own biases. Then they hold up things like pointing out sexism as examples of biased journalism, because clearly the objectively more important thing to note is that Dead or Alive 5 Ultimate has new sit down bounce mechanics. Actually what am I doing, fuck expending brain power trying to understand these people. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brannigan Posted January 18, 2014 Ultimately they just want validation of their own opinions and anything against that is perceived as being biased, or part of some sort of social activist cabal that is trying to kill the medium of their choice. They don't want objective reviews, they want to their opinion to be the "correct" one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TychoCelchuuu Posted January 18, 2014 THEY WANT MY WEBSITE IS WHAT THEY WANT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brannigan Posted January 19, 2014 Oh they do, whether they like it or not. The people who can't figure out it's a joke are the best Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Merus Posted January 19, 2014 They want 'objective reviews' but are labouring under the misapprehension that their own opinions are objective. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frenetic Pony Posted January 19, 2014 They want 'objective reviews' but are labouring under the misapprehension that their own opinions are objective. But objectively those are there opinions, to them the game is objectively good or bad. Not much use I grant you when each person objectivity is subjective to their own self but there we are. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Twig Posted January 19, 2014 Yes but they're objectively stupid is the whole point. They believe their opinions are objectively correct because they are too stupid to realize that their opinions are actually opinions. That's just how some people are. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gormongous Posted January 19, 2014 Yes but they're objectively stupid is the whole point. They believe their opinions are objectively correct because they are too stupid to realize that their opinions are actually opinions. That's just how some people are. Twig... Facts are what I believe, opinions are what others believe. Opinions can be wrong, why would I believe something that's wrong? That makes no sense. Come on, this isn't hard. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Erkki Posted January 19, 2014 Love the Dear Esther review! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
