Weird Medical Shit

[Gormongous]

In an attempt to discourage Zeusthecat from filling every forum thread with stories about his wang, I'm starting this one, where we talk about how messed up our bodies are.

 

 

So ever since my senior year of college, I've had this thing where I cough up a bunch of hard white matter every once in a while. I figured it was a scab that just wasn't healing, since saliva can bleach them white. I've had a long history of oral surgery and all.

 

Anyway, a couple of months ago, I finally googled it and found out I had a tonsillolith. It was pretty straightforward to flick out with my nail, once I knew what I was looking for, and to gargle in order to keep it from reforming, but it is quite easily the grossest thing my body has ever produced. I obsess about it maybe a bit too much.

[Colourful Stuff]

I get them from time to time! I'd always assumed they were accumulated bacterial biofilm, it's nice to know they are the oral equivalent of limescale.

Other gross things my body does? Nothing really although I have an alarmingly asymmetrical ribcage. Despite no recollection of injuring my chest one rib on the right hand side seems to be recessed beneath its neighbours. It rarely causes problems but running can cause a tightness in that area. My clavicles are also a bit off, one able to pop out of place. This makes me think it could be a developmental problem or childhood injury.

[dibs]

I get chest pains all the time. Diagnosis, my ribs are bad and loose weight. apparently my cartridge didn't mesh right when younger. It's really annoying, but the sheer variety if different pains I get is hilarious. Also, getting poked in the chest is the sorest thing. Also, sneezing can be excruciating.

[tegan]

I have a crossbite. The left side of my mouth is normal; but on the right side, some of my upper teeth kind of slope inwards giving me a slight underbite on that side. I want to have it fixed, but not until I take at least one opportunity to cosplay as gender-swapped Two-Face. I also have crazy eyes. They reflect light weird, so they look like they're entirely different colours depending on the lighting. My driver's license says they're blue and my optometrist records say they're hazel. They also see colours slightly differently (one has a slight yellow tint and the other has a slight cyan tint) and one of them has some slight astigmatism, too.

 

Also: SCAR ROUNDUP.

Right shin, oval shape: hit my leg on the steps getting into the school bus as a kid

Right wrist, crescent shape: cut myself trying to shave my arm hair a month or so ago

Left forearm, straight line: ran into a door

Left forearm near elbow, jagged line: ran into the same door two additional times

[dibs]

Oh oh, my most visible scar: from the Hoover the day I tried to empty the bag. I also knocked over a bookcase with the Hoover that day.

Also, between my thumb and finger from where I collapsed the bollard I was leaning on in the sandwich queue. And one on my arm from where I cradled a drill that my dad had just handed me after drilling a wall.

[Nachimir]

tonsillolith.

I got those a lot as a teenager. I found drinking more water seemed to stop them from forming, and haven't had any in years.

 

They also see colours slightly differently (one has a slight yellow tint and the other has a slight cyan tint)

Same! Colours look so much warmer with my left eye.

[Roderick]

Isn't that true for everyone? I thought that was a universal discrepancy in all humans. I've got it too. Plus, occasionally, the weird tonsil stuff, though they're never hard or large. I don't have bad breath, so I guess for me at least it's just a thing that sometimes happens and has no ramifications.

[Coods]

Like Chris Remo, I also sneeze a lot when exposed suddenly to a lot of natural light. I forget what the condition was actually called.

[toblix]

Like Chris Remo, I also sneeze a lot when exposed suddenly to a lot of natural light. I forget what the condition was actually called.

Isn't that just being a person?

[Coods]

Isn't that just being a person?

 

Apparently not!

[brkl]

You weirdo mutants.

[Zeusthecat]

So does that mean I'm not allowed to post here? **I walk away with shame in my eyes as a single tear drips down my cheek, then I come back 15 minutes later to try to redeem myself**

When I was 6 I got thrown off a hill and broke my tibia and fibula and had a cast for awhile. When the cast came off my leg was super weak and I had to cock my left foot out to walk. To this day I walk with my left foot at a 45 degree angle. I never even realized this until I was 17 and someone pointed out how fucked up my footprints looked in the snow.

[Twig]

Isn't that just being a person?

I always made fun of my brother for it when we were younger! He has it. I don't. Whatever it is.

[Ben X]

Isn't that true for everyone? I thought that was a universal discrepancy in all humans. I've got it too. Plus, occasionally, the weird tonsil stuff, though they're never hard or large. I don't have bad breath, so I guess for me at least it's just a thing that sometimes happens and has no ramifications.

 

I've never noticed it myself...

[Gormongous]

So does that mean I'm not allowed to post here? **I walk away with shame in my eyes as a single tear drips down my cheek, then I come back 15 minutes later to try to redeem myself**

When I was 6 I got thrown off a hill and broke my tibia and fibula and had a cast for awhile. When the cast came off my leg was super weak and I had to cock my left foot out to walk. To this day I walk with my left foot at a 45 degree angle. I never even realized this until I was 17 and someone pointed out how fucked up my footprints looked in the snow.

 

No, Zeusthecat. It means we've confined your peen to this thread, maybe. Probably not.

 

I was born pigeon-toed in my right foot, actually. My parents didn't fix it because I'd have to wear a leg brace for a long time, I think? I wish they had. I was an awkward kid anyway and now, every pair of shoes I own, I wear out the right long before the left. The only upside is that I have a crazy range of motion with my right foot, almost a hundred eighty degrees of rotation.

 

Isn't that true for everyone? I thought that was a universal discrepancy in all humans. I've got it too.

 

I don't have it, I don't think. The color profile is almost identical with both eyes, but since I am literally blind without corrective lenses, maybe I just can't notice it? I favor my right eye a lot. I favor my right everything. I'd written out a scar list like Tegan, but it was just a litany of accidents inflicted on my dominant arm.

[Apelsin]

Like Chris Remo, I also sneeze a lot when exposed suddenly to a lot of natural light. I forget what the condition was actually called.

Ooh ooh I've got this too!

[Brannigan]

Isn't that true for everyone? I thought that was a universal discrepancy in all humans. I've got it too. Plus, occasionally, the weird tonsil stuff, though they're never hard or large. I don't have bad breath, so I guess for me at least it's just a thing that sometimes happens and has no ramifications.

Colors are same for me in both eyes.

[SecretAsianMan]

RE sneezing while looking at light:

 

It's called the Photic Sneeze Reflex.  Long story short, an estimated 18-35% are susceptible.  Alternate names include autosomal dominant compulsive helio-ophthalmic outbursts of sneezing aka ACHOO.

[Zeusthecat]

No, Zeusthecat. It means we've confined your peen to this thread, maybe. Probably not.

Haha, yeah I've probably gone a little overboard on that front. I'm implementing a self imposed moratorium on my pud for awhile unless I get requests. This is a fucking amazing community and I don't want to wear out my welcome.

My weird cocked out foot caused a lot of people to ask me if I was gay when I worked in the restaurant industry. I always took it as a compliment.

[Ucantalas]

This is a bit different from the other stuff on this thread, but in my first year of college I developed a "salivary gland stone". It was probably the most painful thing I have ever experienced, except maybe that time a knife slipped and I ended up stabbing myself in the hand.

[Ben X]

My weird cocked out foot caused a lot of people to ask me if I was gay when I worked in the restaurant industry. I always took it as a compliment.

 

Why?

[dibs]

I'm guessing they asked you caus you offered to show then your dick so much.

[Nachimir]

I seem to have inherited the photic sneeze reflex from my dad. I really like it.

Also, when I was a kid I discovered that if I close my mouth, hold my nose and blow hard enough, the inner corner of one eye emits air with a faint, high pitched squeaking sound. Presumably it's the tear duct, but I stopped doing it pretty quickly because it felt like something might rupture. Freaking my brother out by doing it into a mic was fun though.

[SecretAsianMan]

I think my allergies this year my finally suceed in killing me.  My eyes itch so bad I think I would feel better if I removed them with my pen.  I'm sneezing so much I could probably power my computer if I had a small wind turbine in front of me.

[TychoCelchuuu]

I think my allergies this year my finally suceed in killing me.  My eyes itch so bad I think I would feel better if I removed them with my pen.  I'm sneezing so much I could probably power my computer if I had a small wind turbine in front of me.

The Bible says go for it! "And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out." - Mark 9:47. Straight up ticket to heaven right there. It would be silly to pass it up.