Life

[Thyroid]

Thanks for the feedback, everyone!

Enjoyably noirish

A couple of comments :-

1) The switch from "She" to "You" felt a little odd, it felt like she was telling someone all this, or someone was surmising how she felt and telling her, but it was coming from the perspective of the impersonal narrator.

2) I think I'd have said "He'd probably have been a goner anyways" suggesting he would soon have become dead rather than seemingly speculating on him already being dead.

1) It felt right. I suppose I'm just experimenting with styles. I've never been one for traditional, A-to-Z writing. Some people do it, and do it really well; I, on the other hand, prefer to do wild experiments. I'd strip away fat and polish the thing before showing to anyone, of course, but I've found that experimentation yields good results. Your idea's something that's never occurred to me, by the way, so thanks for that.

2) Interesting. Is that how it read? Hmm...My original line had been "He was a goner anyways - he'd crammed...", but I kept thinking it was grammatically incorrect.

Hey, some of my best friends are semites!

I'm just wondering. Kroms, don't you live somewhere in the Middle East? I want to guess Lebanon, but I am very much not sure.

What the question is supposed to lead to, tho, is why set the scene in a usual Noir setting with a sortof familiar Brooklyn Jewish flavor? The name does a lot of tone-setting in that passage. Maybe I am completely off-base here and jumping to conclusions regarding the time period and location, but why not set it in wherever you are/are from? Someplace you may be more familiar with, a place that will not seem as expected as a big US city in the 30s.

Jordan, though I've lived in various other places.

I really don't know. It was just something that came out of me. The original line that I wrote as "The Great Rock and Roll Swindle began in 1972, when Charlie Burkowitz managed to get himself shot in a hotel lobby." It made no sense, but I was never going to continue the story. I looked it, put my hand on the delete key, decided to stop censoring myself and just goddamn wrote. It was a surreal feeling, and one I've needed badly. I changed the first two paragraphs a little before posting them on here, just to have them make a bit of sense.

The setting and time period changed, by the way, as the story went along. I don't even have the gritty noir detective. That's the last thing I wanted to do. If I ever decide to write a proper story, I'll show it to you guys to illustrate what I mean.

I guess I could write about the Arab world, but I'd just end-up censoring myself. Remember: we have no rights here. If I write the wrong thing and post it on the internet, someone could find it and create a shitstorm. I could censor myself, I suppose, but that was exactly what I was trying not to do. That, I'm afraid, I'll have to write when I'm a little less worried about writer's block making a comeback.

[Sodon]

Well, I think your original opening line is a lot better. "The Great Rock and Roll Swindle began in 1972" is a lot more enticing than "It began." Remember, nouns are power. Pronouns are weak.

[toblix]

Remember, nouns are power. Pronouns are weak.

This is so simple, it sounds right.

[ThunderPeel2001]

Well I enjoyed it and understood it for what it was: An enjoyable little writing excercise. Your voice sounds confident, strong and interesting, which I know is the most important thing after coming out of some writer's block.

Also, the only way to improve at anything is to keep at it. So keep at it

[Thyroid]

Cheers, Thunderpeel. I needed that boost of confidence

Thanks to everyone who read, and everyone who replied. I'll upload any decent short stories I manage to crank out for you to read.

[Garple]

I once liked the first half of a Dean Koontz book!

From the Corner of His Eye by Dean Koontz was my favorite book for a while.

[Patters]

I really need to stop being such a coward on the woman front.

[SignorSuperdouche]

I really need to stop being such a coward on the woman front.

Jesus, do I know that one. I spent years hiding behind a facade of honour and chivalry, even to myself, when in reality I was (and to an extent still am) just a massive pussy. I've got nothing much to offer by way of advice I'm afraid, I just sort of slowly became more confident in myself over time, but I hope you find some solace in the fact that you're not the only coward in town.

[miffy495]

Hell, it took me a long time. Pretty sure that's just a geek thing. Even with my current girlfriend, it was more just luck at first than anything else. My advice is, be lucky. A big pitfall I've noticed is that lots of guys fall for girls in their circle of friends, which in my experience (both my own and observed) rarely if ever works out. What worked for me is the "friend of a friend" thing, which never had a chance to become a friendship between the two of us without being a relationship. Friendship and relationship went together, not one at a time. Trying to go from one to the other doesn't go nearly as smoothly, as the emotional impact is so goddamn different. The moral? Don't fall for your friends, but knowing the same people certainly helps.

Anyway, that's a lot of bullshit considering it was prompted by one sentence. Whatever your situation, Pat, good luck with it.

[Patters]

Hell, it took me a long time. Pretty sure that's just a geek thing. Even with my current girlfriend, it was more just luck at first than anything else. My advice is, be lucky. A big pitfall I've noticed is that lots of guys fall for girls in their circle of friends, which in my experience (both my own and observed) rarely if ever works out. What worked for me is the "friend of a friend" thing, which never had a chance to become a friendship between the two of us without being a relationship. Friendship and relationship went together, not one at a time. Trying to go from one to the other doesn't go nearly as smoothly, as the emotional impact is so goddamn different. The moral? Don't fall for your friends, but knowing the same people certainly helps.

Anyway, that's a lot of bullshit considering it was prompted by one sentence. Whatever your situation, Pat, good luck with it.

Yeah, the friend thing has almost happened before, though I stopped it before anything serious did, at the time she was pretty much my best friend and was the ex of my best friend from High School. So I took the moral high ground and took her aside and explained that nothing could happen and we are still fantastic friends.

Just the women I have been involved in in the past few years have all fucked me over, which is probably why I am done with "metal chicks" which is a slightly derogative term I know, though the grief I have got from them is ridiculous. Of course they aren't all bad, but those that aren't are already involved with someone or are far too old for me.

The girl in question is a friend, and a long time one at that, for the better part of a decade, though most common friends lost touch between the end of school and now. I guess I had also. Though it's really weird with everything being 'cutesy at the moment, which is something I haven't had for years. I want something, I'm reasonably confident she does also. There is just a lot of shit that has happened in my past, involving high levels of mental instability, which I have only ever told 2 people who aren't family. It was hard enough for me to get through; which could affect her as well, if we ever get serious. This thing is why I game, it's why I am me, it's why I will be incredibly careful if I ever have kids.

Sorry for that, just needed to vent a little.

[Scratch]

Sorry but I am going to derail this ongoing conversation and post about my recent experience with tech support.

So here's the story...

I just moved into a new place last weekend. After following the usual procedures, I went about and setup my internet. It worked fine for the first few days with occasional connection drops. Then suddenly I simply couldn't connect to it at all. I ended up buying a new router thinking that maybe the router crapped out on me. But it still wouldn't work. After three days of not having any net access at all, I gave up and called tech support.

Here's how the conversation went:

Tech: "Did you try to take it out and plug it in again?"

Me: "Yes I have done that a thousand times already. That doesn't help."

Tech: "No, take it out and wait a couple minutes. Then plug it in."

Me: "Ok fine."

Brief interval of me doing as asked.

Me: "Yep, it's not working."

Tech: "Have you set a password to your connection?"

Me: "Yes, and I have entered it correctly. It still says 'Could not connect to specified network.'"

Tech: "It must be your router then, we can replace it for you..."

Me: "Um, I already bought a new router and that didn't change a thing."

Tech: "Did you change any of the security setting in the router setup? Maybe you accidentally banned your MAC address."

Me: "Look, I know what I am doing. I haven't bothered to fuss around with the security settings. All I have done is set a WEP password. It was fiine the first couple of days, but now it's completely not working."

Tech: "Ok, all I can suggest then is that you start over and set up the network from scratch."

Me: "Thanks that was helpful."

I finally did manage to get it working, by accessing this wonderful site through my iphone. It seems that Windows 7 has issues with WEP network connections. I have to manually add the network setting into the control panel to connect. Shame on me for not having realized this before and trying it out on XP. Now I have an extra router, that I didn't save the receipt of and thus cannot return it to the store. Sadly that's life for me, I have tons of unwanted junk lying about that I probably shouldn't have bought in the first place.

Alright, I am done venting you may now continue with your conversation.

[elmuerte]

When you call tech support you should always ask if they can skip right to box #12 of their flowchart/workflow.

Why 12 you ask? That was so far the most successful number. 25 didn't work at all, 10 was completely misunderstood. Wit 13 the person got annoyed. And 12 has worked twice so far.

[Thyroid]

I really need to stop being such a coward on the woman front.

This is shit advice but, it works for me. (CV/experience: 5 ex-girlfriends, though I never lasted an entire year with any of them.) Anyways, don't think of them as "women" or even "pretty" or "attractive". Think of them as, you know, "Amanda". Or "Jane". Next thing you know you're charming and funny and even, uh, "sweet" (whatever that is). That - and never, ever saying the word "friend" - has worked for me.

[Nachimir]

Some good advice here. Also, don't fixate on attraction, and by that I mean that too many people I know get hung up on one person they're merely very attracted to, rather than in love with. There are shitloads more people that attractive and compatible out there.

As a rule of thumb, if I've ever found myself hung up on someone who's not interested, it means I'm not meeting enough people. Meeting people non-romantically is something that can massively fuel your love life, because of the whole mutual acquaintance thing.

[Thyroid]

As a rule of thumb, if I've ever found myself hung up on someone who's not interested, it means I'm not meeting enough people. Meeting people non-romantically is something that can massively fuel your love life, because of the whole mutual acquaintance thing.

Advice worth heeding.

[DanJW]

Well done for not using the phrase "get out there more". I am starting to loathe those words. So incredibly trite.

[ThunderPeel2001]

It's tricky when you're struggling to make new friends, though... Any advice on that?

[Patters]

This is shit advice but, it works for me. (CV/experience: 5 ex-girlfriends, though I never lasted an entire year with any of them.) Anyways, don't think of them as "women" or even "pretty" or "attractive". Think of them as, you know, "Amanda". Or "Jane". Next thing you know you're charming and funny and even, uh, "sweet" (whatever that is). That - and never, ever saying the word "friend" - has worked for me.

I do already do this, though on-line with 3rd parties who only know me, it feels more correct to refer to her as an unambiguous term. I still think people I have previously been involved with as: "Megan", "Mellisa", etc (Aside why is Megan not recognised as a word on Chrome's dictionary).

Some good advice here. Also, don't fixate on attraction, and by that I mean that too many people I know get hung up on one person they're merely very attracted to, rather than in love with. There are shitloads more people that attractive and compatible out there.

As a rule of thumb, if I've ever found myself hung up on someone who's not interested, it means I'm not meeting enough people. Meeting people non-romantically is something that can massively fuel your love life, because of the whole mutual acquaintance thing.

Yeah, I have been through that. Don't get me wrong, I am attracted to the girl in question, though more than just for her physical appearance, in fact I am probably more attracted to her personality (sorry for the cliché). I do go out and meet new people, though as I am trying to cut down my drinking this has decreased from the last year, I have in fact gone out of my way to meet people, without drinking a ridiculous amount.

[monkeyarmada]

+1 Nachimir

Even though I'm getting married to a girl I met through an on-line dating site (funny story, happy to be a geek!), I reckon the 'just doing stuff not looking for "the one" but it'd be good if we randomly met' method is the way forward. Might have some fun on the way too.

S.

[SignorSuperdouche]

It's tricky when you're struggling to make new friends, though... Any advice on that?

Best piece of advice I ever got was this: People never find you boring if they need help.

hTGtb3-AVq4

[Garple]

As a rule of thumb

How appropo.

Wakka Wakka.

[Fuzzy Lobster]

It's tricky when you're struggling to make new friends, though... Any advice on that?

I've been struggling with this too. It's so difficult to meet people in a large city if it's not through school or work. I find that I have brief, very enjoyable conversations with people here and there, but I don't see the same people over and over again to ever establish much of a friendship. I'm also pretty shy beyond superficial interactions.

I'm fortunate that most of my friends don't live too far away, but it would still be nice to meet some new people here.

Edited February 7, 2010 by Fuzzy Lobster

[ThunderPeel2001]

I've been struggling with this too. It's so difficult to meet people in a large city if it's not through school or work. I find that I have brief, very enjoyable conversations with people here and there, but I don't see the same people over and over again to ever establish much of a friendship. I'm also pretty shy beyond superficial interactions.

That's precisely the problem I'm having. You meet people, have enjoyable conversations, but don't see them again/regularly enough to actually start bonding... so it's all just acquaintances. It's especially hard when you work from home... in a big city. I guess I should join a club or something.

[Nachimir]

Yeah, when it comes to making new friends, then regular events, classes, etc., are the best. If one doesn't stick, no worries, you can try something else. Again, just as with attraction, don't get hung up on befriending anyone in particular, it tends to happen naturally. You'll meet people you think are really cool, and it might not be mutual (Vice versa too).

If you have enough friends that have a mutual interest, then setting up and running something yourself is also an excellent way. Honestly, setting up a boardgames night was the best thing that ever happened to my love life, but only because I'd built a fairly large and fairly gender-balanced group of geeky friends first, which gave it a massive kickstart. It might also have coincided with me generally becoming a lot more relaxed about romance etc., but it nonetheless provided a really low pressure environment to meet and talk to people.

If you're in London, I'd highly recommend Sandpit. It's interesting and absolutely mental.

[DanJW]

All sounds very familiar to me too. I've reached a point now where I am doing enough activities where I meet lots of people... but yeah they often end up being acquaintances. On the other hand I have a massive circle of acquaintances now, sometimes seems like I know half the city, which can be cool (although it may be one reason why I have itchy feet to move somewhere new).

Another problem I have is that despite meeting lots of women, I have some kind of mental block between chatting and being friendly and actually making any kind of romantic advance. I can treat an attractive girl as a coworker or equivalent but not as an object of desire - precisely the opposite of the stereotypical male problem. Flirting or telling a girl I like her feels like an admission of guilt*. I blame being brought up with strong feminist values - I'm as ill-equipped to deal with post-feminism as traditional men were with plain feminism.

But that's me. Keep up the effort, I'm sure it will pay off eventually!

*I did actually finally ask a girl our a couple of months ago though - she was so special that I knew I would hate myself if I didn't. She said yes! We had a date planned! Then she met someone else...