Write some reviews in 15 words or less

[MrHoatzin]

apparently this is a web forum!

also why are you cribbing from double fine action news to write on and on needlessly about the gamecube in a thread specifically dedicated to 15 word reviews, yufster??

I was worried there for a second, but I am ok once again.

[Redwall]

Given the Gamecube's reputation for kiddy platform games, I suspect Psychonauts would have sold rather well with parents buying their kids another crazy, childish game. Then they would try and sue the store for selling an adult game in kiddy style.

Either that or they'd see the two-headed baby and not let their kids anywhere near it.

[Jake]

Psychonauts on Gamecube

Though I love my Gamecube I'm glad Double Fine didn't waste time on a port.

[MrHoatzin]

Rodi

I think he should cry into his pillow for owning a useless console.

Platforms

If you can't play Psychonauts on it, might as well use it as a waffle iron.

[Jake]

Gamecube

It can't cook waffles. Or play DVDs. Time for some Smash Bros.

[Roderick]

From an objective stance I'm glad Psychonauts didn't waste money on a port for the GC. Because it would've sold the least of all releases. Which is an outrage in its own right, because the Gamecube is an extremely adequate console, just as good or better than its competition. From a fanboy perspective of both, I'm very insulted of course.

And crying in my pillow.

Upgrading my computer: Playing Psychonauts AND being able to participate in WoW-raids. Hmmmm...

[Jake]

It probably would have had to be a multi-disc release on the cube (or a shit port), which is yet another stupid hassle.

[nsps]

also why are you cribbing from double fine action news to write on and on needlessly about the gamecube in a thread specifically dedicated to 15 word reviews, yufster??

I'm missing the DFAN cribbing. Is this related to a specific post? [EDIT: By post, I mean a specific date or quote of Tim's entry.]

The GameCube is a highly underrated system, mainly due to the "aren't enough titles" (aka no Psychonauts) issue, and I actually think Psychonauts could have sold very well on the console, given it's less blood-and-tits-centered audience.

It also has the edge of being the only console whose outward appearance isn't an eyesore in any reasonably decorated room. Sure the slim PS2 is cool for its size, but the ribs and the two textures of black plastic are awkward and too busy. The Xbox, well…it's both giant and shockingly ugly, and I don't think I have to argue that point. Sure, a console can be awesome and ugly, but it denotes a certain amount of pride when designers go through the trouble to make their console something that non-gamers wouldn't mind having in their living room.

To summarize in 15 words:

GameCube Not giant, not ugly, not giant and ugly, runs better than realized, but no Psychonauts.

[Dingo Chavez]

Kingzjester

It was humorous in the beginning, but lost me in the end.

Yusfer

Has some emotional problems. Also, should buy a GameCube.

Rodi

Genius, a masterpiece.

Jake

The king of all things.

Chris

A diamond. We are not worthy.

nsps

Perhaps the best thing since sliced bread.

Mr. T:

Kingzjester

A fool!

Yusfer

A fool with emotional problems.

Rodi

Hannible? Is that you?

Jake

I pity the fool who doesn't love it!

Chris

I pity the fool who doesn't bow in his presence!.

nsps

I like it.

[Duncan]

Anyway moving back on topic.*

Half-Life 2 (yes again):

"Gordon, you're alive! Meet us at -- oh shit! Find your own way there."

Jedi Academy:

"This one ought to be a walk in the park. AMBUSH!"

* not that these are reviews exactly, more astute summaries.

[Nick]

Mario Kart Double Dash:

So much 4 player team based joy that I nearly creamed my pants.

[BigJKO]

Metroid Prime: Hunters - First Hunt

Survivor mode keeps me thrilled while I wait for the ability to buy more games.

Super Smash Bros. Melee

Four player matches and Jigglypuff. Need I say more?

Black & White

Not nearly as terrible as people say, yet nowhere near as great either.

Nintendo DS

So far, making PictoArt and playing First Hunt, makes it the best handheld ever.

[Salka]

Cold Fear:

Game won't even start.

Crash Twinsanity:

Crap, frustrating, boring, repetitive.

PC World:

In response to massive demand, orders in one copy of Rome: Total War per week.

[Huz]

All right. Things I've played recently.

Live For Speed

ROCK HARD.

Psychonauts: BEST.

Beyond Good and Evil It made me think "screw adventure games." This is where it's AT.

Moment of Silence Demo: 14% is pushing it. Screw adventure games.

Bumout 3: Red mist. Burning rage. Screaming anger. Thrown controllers. Great game.

[Chris]

This Thread: Generates Google ads at the top of the page for waffle irons and Nintendo GameCubes.

[OftenK]

Psychonauts: Wow. In direct competition with Grim Fandango for Best Game Of All Time Ever.

Splinter Cell Chaos Theory: Same old Splinter Cell fun, cool new tricks. Why are the guards so shiny, though?

[JoeX111]

Chronicles of Riddick: Shorter than Coach Oleander, better than Doom 3.

Psychonauts: The reason for playing video games.

Silent Hill 4: This is a Silent Hill game?

Civilization 3: Civilization 2 streamlined and polished.

Pirates!: Amazingly fun repetition. Scrapland, take notes.

Unreal Tournament 2004: Multiplayer perfection.

Unreal Tournament 2004 Clone Bandits mod: Screw Onslaught. This is where it's at.

and Brothers in Arms Demo: Fun gameplay, bad character expressions, and worse sound. Who OK'ed these voice actors?

[MrHoatzin]

Planescape Troment

Updated my journal. I feel stronger now.

[Roderick]

Resident Evil 4: the first part is original, terrifying and cinematic. The second disc disappointingly nullifies the game.

[Dingo Chavez]

Grim Fandango

A masterpiece, that was underappreciated by mankind.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

A synonym for near perfection.

The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker

Funny, witty, pleasant music, gorgeous visuals, a well written plot. In short: outstanding!

The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past

It made the Zelda series known as an absolute classic.

Super Mario Bros. 3

Priceless childhood memories.

Super Mario 64

A revolution that came in a cartridge.

Paper Mario

Few words can summarize this game, so I'll only say: I didn't want it to end.

Mario is Missing!

Mario isn't missing, he ran away.

Super Smash Bros. Melee

Addiction on plastic.

The Secret of Monkey Island

I just can't stop saying: I'm Guybrush Threepwood mighty pirate.

The Curse of Monkey Island

Pure wit and magnificent characters makes this a classic.

Maniac Mansion II: Day of the Tentacle

It's always fun to give george washington an explosive cigar in good earnest.

Sam & Max Hit the Road

Funniest game there is or was, with some frivolous puzzles that lack logic.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (1)

He sure is agile, but did he have to take off his shirt?

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2)

Which way to Mecca?

Metal Gear Solid

Snake!!, the story is overrated, SNAKE!!!

Final Fantasy VII

Great overall, but the dialogue writer must have been a #&%@#$ nitwit!

Final Fantasy VIII

Every time I play it I just have to smile.

Final Fantasy IX

A true fantasy.

[Chris]

Full Throttle: Every time I think about it I love it more. More games like this, please.

[Roderick]

Joker: pulling boner of the year. Wuxtry.

[Pappa]

Melt Banana - 13000 miles at light velocity, indeed

[manny_c44]

Wuxtry Best fake word ever. Will camp in line for sequel.

[David]

Short Reviews: Nice, but would have been more clever in haiku form.