I Had A Random Thought...

[Twig]

I just had what is possibly my greatest idea ever.

 

A box, that gets mailed from one person to the next, on a whim. I give it to a friend. He gives it to one of his friends. Or maybe an enemy! Why? Because. What's in the box? A boxing glove on a spring that punches the opener in the face.

 

Please. Someone. Make this happen.

[osmosisch]

So the idea is to hurt people serially? That seems the opposite of worthwhile.

[Twig]

That's what you got out of that, huh?

 

Yeesh I can't deal with this kind of cynicism, man. STOP IT.

[Twig]

You've just depressed me beyond comprehension.

[osmosisch]

I don't know how else to even interpret the idea of mailing a box around that punches the receiver in the face. That's not cynical, just taking what you say literally. What else did you mean?

[clyde]

I find the exchange between you two about the punching package, hilarious.

[osmosisch]

I hope that balances Twig's depression out a bit!

[Twig]

Oh I don't know

Slapstick comedy?

COME. ON.

[Ucantalas]

Personally, I'd be laughing pretty hard if I recieved a packaged and it was just a boxing glove that punched me in the face.  I like this idea.

[Twig]

Yeah! It's such a bonkers thing! Man I love it.

[clyde]

I've heard of someone doing this, only it wasn't a boxing glove, it was anthrax. And it wasn't funny, it was terrorism.

This is an attempt a humor. I'm not offended by your punching box idea, but at the same time, I'm not giving you my mailing address.

[Twig]

niceeee

[Zeusthecat]

I'm on board too. I don't think I could be mad if I opened a box and was punched in the face by a spring loaded boxing glove. I would just get all nostalgic and go watch The Goonies.

[SecretAsianMan]

What's in the box?

 

Peter Molyneux.  When you open it, he jumps out and punches you in the face.

[Twig]

Even better! I wonder how much that'd cost...

[SecretAsianMan]

It'll be the top tier backer reward for his next Kickstarter.

[Zeusthecat]

I hate to do this but I need to bring up poo again just real quick to piggyback on Twig's new Kickstarter.

 

I've had this idea for awhile to create a new product called Revenge Candles. These are basically just candles with crap in the middle. The great thing about them is that it takes the flaming bag of shit on the doorstep to the next level since the person you give this to basically lights it themselves and will eventually end up with an awful smell permeating their house that they unknowingly caused. I have actually thought out all of the different types of Revenge Candles that could be manufactured but I better leave it at that.

 

So Twig, would you be willing to package my Revenge Candles with your product? After being punched in the face the recipient might think that the candle is an "I'm sorry I punched you in the face just now" kind of gift but end up getting a double whammy.

[Ucantalas]

This... this is pure evil incarnate. The dark depths of your mind know no bounds, clearly.

 

I am disgusted yet intrigued by this product.

[Ucantalas]

I just have to ask, though: How do you plan on doing this if it becomes a big seller thing? Do you start working on artifical poop substitutes? Or do you start farming feces? Will you have employees on strict diets to provide consistent textures conducive to poo-candle making?

[Zeusthecat]

It's worse than you think. One of the products in the Revenge Candle catalog would be floating bath candles. 

[Zeusthecat]

I just have to ask, though: How do you plan on doing this if it becomes a big seller thing? Do you start working on artifical poop substitutes? Or do you start farming feces? Will you have employees on strict diets to provide consistent textures conducive to poo-candle making?

 

Well we want to avoid artificial preservatives and stuff. I prefer things to be organic. (Sorry to everyone for bringing this topic up, couldn't help myself)

[Twig]

I. Am. Sold.

Let's do this.

[Gormongous]

I can't wait for your joint announcement of Slapstick 'n' Shit, Inc. Slapshit?

[Ucantalas]

My mom always used to say, "Don't slap shit, it splatters."

Splatters Inc it is, then.

[Twig]

Slapstick 'n' Shit! Goddamn! I losing it!

Also the font made the l in Candles look like an i.

Let that soak in.