I Had A Random Thought...

[Ucantalas]

Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up the road, some youths came from the city and mocked him, and said to him, “Go up, you bald head! Go up, you bald head!” So he turned around and looked at them, and pronounced a curse on them in the name of the Lord. And two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.

-Kings 2:23

While there is a lot of arguing about its morality and its historical legitimacy, I have to admit, I kind of like reading the bible once in a while, there's nothing like it.

[Zeusthecat]

-Kings 2:23

While there is a lot of arguing about its morality and its historical legitimacy, I have to admit, I kind of like reading the bible once in a while, there's nothing like it.

 

That was Ezekiel getting made fun of right? I've used that story when arguing against religious people and they never believe me that the Bible said that. I love using my years of being brainwashed against the very type of people that performed the brainwashing. It blows their fucking minds.

 

"Everything you are about to read is fiction and is to be heard in James Earl Jones's voice" -Genesis 1:1

[Berzee]

That was Ezekiel getting made fun of right? I've used that story when arguing against religious people and they never believe me that the Bible said that. I love using my years of being brainwashed against the very type of people that performed the brainwashing. It blows their fucking minds.

 

"Everything you are about to read is fiction and is to be heard in James Earl Jones's voice" -Genesis 1:1

Elisha

[Zeusthecat]

Elisha

 

It's been quite awhile. I knew it started with an 'E' though. Thanks!

[Berzee]

It's been quite awhile. I knew it started with an 'E' though. Thanks!

I had to do a precautionary Google to make sure it wasn't Elijah first =P

 

After the bears were finished, perhaps Elisha walked away observing, "And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean. Leviticus 13:40."

[Zeusthecat]

And then he probably thought, "Damn, those kids really were stupid. All just standing there waiting for their turn to be mauled. I'm pretty sure a bear can really only maul one kid at a time." - 1st Corinthians 13:17

[jmbossy]

So when walking to my old job I would pass I tiny church who always had their signs up for 2 weeks each, and they were always pretty funny.
My personal favorite was "Church Parking only. Trespassers will be Baptised."  (oddly enough they spelled Baptized wrong)

So I am an atheist and I currently live with a Baptist (I think that's his affiliation, It's all sort of the same to me, excuse my ignorance) who is going through a problem on a related note. He claims to be addicted to porn, and says that a year ago it was at a point where he wanked as much as twice a day (which I guess is excessive). He is now trying to cut masturbation completely out of his life, claiming he is more motivated is more socially driven and has a higher self esteem when he doesn't fap (points I cannot argue with). This being difficult for him he asked me to block all internet access and all app downloads on his ipad so he can cut himself off at the pass, this IMMEDIATELY reminded me of putting a towel over your computer at night.

So I think it's crazy to entirely cut yourself off and make forbidden vices and it seems to be a very religious concept (I know of a religious family who never let their daughters do anything, and the week their oldest moved out she was hospitalized for alcohol poisoning). That being said, I do want to help him out, whether or not I feel his methodology is correct.

[Zeusthecat]

Just tell him to stop worrying, he can just ask for forgiveness. Problem solved. -Proverbs 32:8

[jmbossy]

He's bigger than me.... so.... No...

[subbes]

:eng101:  In many words, either S or Z is fine.  It's just a BritEng/AmerEng difference.

[elmuerte]

thanks zubbez, I'll put that to good use

[jmbossy]

:eng101:  In many words, either S or Z is fine.  It's just a BritEng/AmerEng difference.

 

Thanks, didn't know that

[Sententia]

Just discovered Tim Minchin and holy shit is he funny it's also really affirming for me to see this comedian-musician where all he does is mock religion and he has a huge following.  I've always been slightly self-conscious about my thoughts on the absurdity of religions, feels good to have someone sane agree with me.  Here's two of my favorite songs so far, beware religious folk you may be very offended:

 

 

[Justin Leego]

Towel talk

Do you know if he has read any of the material from yourbrainonporn.com or the no-fap subreddit?

It's not so much "Thou Must Not Indulge" as a summary of ways in which porn consumption can alter the way people's brains work, and, as a result, what quitting is like and why it's so worth it. Quite motivating.

[tegan]

So I have the most amazing idea for a a reality TV show. It came to me in a dream last night.

 

 

The idea is you have to live in a shared house with all the other contestants while you each try to invent something. Your invention has to be a completely original product built primarily out of the contents of a junk heap that you were given an hour to sift through and collect scrap from on the first day of shooting. After you build your invention, you have to present it to an audience of investors and your peers, but you have to do it in your underwear.

[toblix]

You had me at underwear.

[Ucantalas]

So I have the most amazing idea for a a reality TV show. It came to me in a dream last night.

 

 

The idea is you have to live in a shared house with all the other contestants while you each try to invent something. Your invention has to be a completely original product built primarily out of the contents of a junk heap that you were given an hour to sift through and collect scrap from on the first day of shooting. After you build your invention, you have to present it to an audience of investors and your peers, but you have to do it in your underwear.

I'm not going to lie, I like this idea. I would watch it.

[dibs]

Magiver crossed with temptation island crossed with dragons den. The best.

[jmbossy]

Do you know if he has read any of the material from yourbrainonporn.com or the no-fap subreddit?

It's not so much "Thou Must Not Indulge" as a summary of ways in which porn consumption can alter the way people's brains work, and, as a result, what quitting is like and why it's so worth it. Quite motivating.

Yeah he definitely reads both of those sites.

[Zeusthecat]

Another message from that stupid sign:

 

"A Bible that is falling apart belongs to someone who isn't"

 

I think the opposite is true.

[SecretAsianMan]

"Why are you ripping up that Bible?"

"Because a church sign told me it would fix my life."

[Zeusthecat]

"Why are you ripping up that Bible?"

"Because a church sign told me it would fix my life."

Somewhat related to this, I always find it funny how seriously people take quotes and hold them to be universal truths.

"The grass is greener, etc" "An apple a day, etc"

We always tried to make up our own. A couple of mine are:

"Instincts don't always lead to survival"

"Not everything is due to karma, sometimes it's genetic"

It's a pretty fun game. It's surprising how easy it is to come up with a real sounding quote.

[elmuerte]

"Believe in yourself. Because the rest of us think you're an idiot." -- despair.com

"Tradition. Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -- despair.com

[Roderick]

"A problem solved is a problem caused." - Karl Pilkington

[tegan]

"Believe in yourself. Because the rest of us think you're an idiot." -- despair.com

"Tradition. Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -- despair.com

 

I always liked this one on responsibility: "No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood."

 

Demotivational posters were kind of neat before the internet forgot what the point of the joke was and just turned everything into one.