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Poetry Remix0red!

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Man, what a lame thread title.

Anyway, in light of my newly rediscovered sense of humour, I decided to host a small but elegant Poetry Remix0red thread (the title having nothing to do with Remixor, I was just trying to make it sound cool, but I guess I failed, like I fail at pretty much everything, and then some, and then I accidentally insult people without even knowing I opened my mouth, possibly because I'm typing with my fingers and not my teeth).

Anyway, are you a budding peotryogist? Can you think of two words that ryhme? Great! Then let's get cracking! The aim of this thread is to write beautiful, poignant, lyrical verse (I don't even know if that makes sense, but I heard some guy say it before and it sounded pretty intelligent, and he sounded like he knew what he was talking about, and I think it was poetry).

Leave your contributions here! And none of that sort of shit we have to study in school, like The Hedgehog, by Dumbass D. McDumbass. Man, that didn't even RYHME, and it wasn't FUNNY. That's not real poetry. I'll show you REAL Poetry, Mr The-Snail-Moves-Like-A-Hovercraft-Blah-Blah-Blah-This-Poem-Is-About-Hedgehogs-Because-They're-Totally-Like-Jesus-Blah-Blah-ROCK-ON!. Your name is dumb, your poem is dumb, and the name I just called you is dumb, too. Pfft!

Let's get crackin'! I'll start;

P.S. It must be poetry about IDLE THUMBS.

On one freezing January morn,

I went down, at the crack of dawn

To make a coffee in the kitchen,

And also to let the goddamn cat in

In actual fact I don't have a cat

I just said that because it rhymed.

Anyway, continuing on with my poignant tale,

I let in the cat and picked up the mail,

And once in the kitchen I turned on the taps,

to be met with absolutely no water, not a DROP, because it had frozen fucking up overnight. You twats!

Angry and thirsty, I returned to my room

Where I turned my attentions to an internet forum

(Room and Forum don't really rhyme

But I'm tired and thirsty and I don't have much time)

They had nothing to say and neither did I

I looked at the active users list. No wonder, say's I,

They're all online. That's it. Goodbye!

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Browsing at his desk, not a peep and not a sound,

Idleforum user, his feet don't touch the ground.

The page has stopped refreshing, it remains on what he read,

the Idleforum post that has made this user dead.

Now when I say this user, the term is used two ways,

yes he reads the forums but with Heroin he plays.

And as he dangles from a rope, needle in his wrist,

faeces down his trousers, his mouse still in his fist.

He wears a blank expression, eyes fixed upon the screen,

what was in that post? What could it have been?

Blood dribbles from his mouth, a tear drops from his eye,

Yufster for a joke had said the world was out of pie.

That my friends concludes this tale, the end has almost come,

you can all point at Yufster and yell "look at what you've done!"

But think of that poor boy, and ask youself a question,

Is this the kind of sicko that post on thumbs and who's the next one?

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Lacey is l33ty

Spaff a total sweety,

Marek can speak hollish

Lailekekenen is... is not hollish.

Duncan has got neat armour

Amee's a total newcomer

Chris is a complete honey

Trepstud, a cuddly bunny

Deadworm is extremely chatty

Ryam is absolutely batty

Jake, probably THEE nicest guy

Kingz is funny and odd and dry,

Ysbreker is unpronouncable

Nick is nice, capable

Erkki is ever omnipresent

Emma is never ever present

Idle Thumbs is full of shit

So are you, get over it.

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On either side they stood,

opposing thumbs,

counting tumbleweeds,

tension slicable,

gamepad in hand,

no rhyming was heard,

there wasn't the mood.

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it was me and my shadow, my shadow and me

who tried to succeed in poetry

he told me to write about peace and fight

integrated alone in idle thumb's home

so i'll tell you a tale where electronic arts

- in idle thumb's home despised

because it's built upon lies -

will collapse to its parts

and die all alone as it did in idle thumb's home

we all so smart will finally be part

in tim schafer's genius (more philosophic than confucius)

and more humor than charlie chaplin ever brought:

ladies and gentlemen, psychonauts is out!

(and will rule all alone in idle thumb's home)

my shadow has vanished, now it's only me

no more tales about glory instead of worry

evil's still reigning, creativity abstaining

so this must be the end of my poetry

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Thumbs... thumbs.


Are not thumbs

They float



Porcelain Poodles


No, life

It's there

Look, mom!


Not that

Is it morning there?


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The Thumb's so ceremonious,

more overly; dichotomous.

;( Not in Yufsters poem either. I'm the unluckiest guy in UBB-land.

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i am evil and full of bunnies

i don't even laugh at the funnies

check idle thumbs about gazillion times

but can't think of shit that snoppin rhymes

but beyond good and evil there is a realm

lead by kingz at its helm

it's called thumbonia and at its best

its the worlds nicest tragedy a real snoppin fest

floating thru time and stinkin to hell

you might think i could end this just as well

so i do this now without thought or rhyme

i guess it's been lame the whole snoppin time

but hey i used snop in this poem a lot

so at least yufster happy this thing should have got

enjoy the show punks and please make my day

you were all in this one all the way

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Not to say that Kingz sucks

Or anything like that,

But it's not like he could give two fucks

And clowns, by rule, are twats

Ahhh, I hate clowns!!! Imagine having a king that was a clown!

Kingzjester is a Jester and not a friggin' King

He doesn't rule over us and we don't ask him,

Just because he's scary and has a permanent frown

Doesn't mean he owns as; for gods sake, he's a clown.

Everyone'd agree they suck, if it was put to poll

One day soon, mark my words, I'll snop the faces off them all.

By the way, in this thread, you can only talk in rhyme

Therefore Kingz, man, screw you!

You'd committed a Thumbular Crime.

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A little from column a, a little from column b....

Rodi is a great reviewer

Shbazjinkins lives in a sewer.

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yufster still annoys me

i wish she wasn't

mildly attractive


i guess i should note

i like girls that are as

feminine as i am

except that the girl is masculine

but not enough

to be gay

which is why my

girlfriend is so great

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I am a PC fighter,

and I weild a magic mouse

with the built in ciggie lighter

and the ashtray in my house.

I like to play the FPS

like Doom or Quake-like games,

though a lack of God mode does distress,

despite my fervent claims

to never cheat whilst having fun

(so soccer h4x are fine).

But, hey, I always score a ton -

and that high score? That's mine.

I've travelled through the distant lands

and far off, alien shores.

I've held a gun within my hands,

and 100+ alien laser swords.

But nothing there

can quite compare

with this here Thumb.

(Yes, I'm crap. Ho hum.)

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yufster still annoys me

i wish she wasn't

mildly attractive


Thanks a lot.

What did I ever do?

You're full of poo.

I hate... you.

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