Weddings

[melmer]

I'm getting married next year, June the 20 something (my girlfriend gets annoyed that can't remember the date, just like how I can't remember her birthday :/ there's more important things I need to retain in my memory! Like how to preform the raging demon FW FW LP..... Oh fuck, now I've forgotten that as well... HP LK LP??? Anyway...) WEDDINGS

Now, we're not planning on a traditional affair. I mean, why does the bride get to make an entrance to music and not the groom. I want my special moment too! So, driving home today, the greatest song ever written comes on the radio and I have an epiphany.

I'm going to dress up in a pink blazer, chucky gold chain around my neck, bare chested, with white shorts and trainers and dance down the aisle to this...

(Skip to 3:45)

Oh and shades, very important. Is he wearing fucking gloves?

[melmer]

Whoa, I was way off, it's LP LP FW LK HP

Please share you thoughts/feelings/experiences of past/present/future weddings

[JonCole]

you should invite olly

[melmer]

That got a legitimate lol out of me. I'll send him an eCard invite. An eInvite

Come on guys, share the most intimate and personal day of your life with random anonymous people on the intertubes!

[JonCole]

I think the term is e-vite.

 

My wife and I got married at the courthouse on our lunch break at work, because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Two or three weeks later, we drove to Orlando where my parents held a reception for us with a bunch of people we really didn't care much about. They bought a lot of stuff from my Amazon registry, which was pretty cool. Some of the less cool members of my family bought things like the things on my registry but worse. My parents hired a friend of my teenage sister to do photographs because it is his hobby. They weren't very good, I think I liked one or two of them.

[syntheticgerbil]

...maybe you shouldn't get married?

[tegan]

I like the idea of a groom walk, but it is probably not a wise idea to use the opportunity to use your wedding to mimic someone who famously beat his wife to the point of hospitalization.

 

 

Suggestion:

, preferably to be paired with something involving a bare chest and a cape.

[JonCole]

Yeaaaaah... Chris Brown is a scumlord. I don't think he was married to Rihanna, though that correction isn't at all relevant to his scum factor.

[undermind9]

i got married last march (2013) and had a great time.  it went by too fast, but a year plus people still mention how nice of a time they had...which is a good indicator i think

 

it was my wife's second so took a lot of the obligatory BS out of the ceremony and reception.  we got married at the Morton Arboretum which is a glorified forest preserve outside of chicago (more trails...less creeps & family re-unions), had the reception 50' away, sundae bar, and according to the bartenders "Above Average" consumption.

 

Also, paying for it entirely by ourselves took a lot of the BS out of obligatory invites; Dear aunt-whats-your-name - NOPE.

 

did the whole thing in a collaborative google doc too, that was baffling to her ma and other tech-muggles

[undermind9]

My only regret is a guy at my office (boss at the time) offered to do the service.  It ended up being a fairly religious ceremony which is not in my core values at all.  i should have known better that he was going to pull that shit, didnt end up giving the full written out speech until the morning of - which i red lined pretty hard.  And then 6hrs later during the event i omitted some of the more blatant religious stuff from vows repeat-after-me portion 

 

As it turns out to get someone ordained it is 2 business days, oh well.  the guy is now gone for other unethical business practices, good riddance.

 

 

but congrats, and dont skimp on the photographer - sort of the only part that lasts (besides obviously your love for the bride yadda yadda)

[tegan]

Get a bigass cake.

 

I want to get married someday, but I have no idea what kind of ceremony I should have. I'm an athiest, a lesbian, and effectively an orphan; so there's not really any reason for me to follow the usual procedure around these things.

 

 

Fun story: I knew this girl in high school who was obsessive about weddings and loved the really weird Vegas-type ones where everybody dresses up as Star Wars characters or whatever, but was a super religious homophobe and wanted to "preserve the sanctity of marriage" against gay people. Whee!

[syntheticgerbil]

http://www.themonastery.org/ordination?gclid=CIDOgL_QucACFSxk7AodVXUAYQ

 

This is where my minister got ordained. GET STARTED NOW. BRYAN CRANSTON AND CONAN O'BRIEN DID IT!

[MadJackalope]

Oy vey, that is cringe inducing. Maybe I'm also way 

 

Get a bigass cake.

 

I want to get married someday, but I have no idea what kind of ceremony I should have. I'm an athiest, a lesbian, and effectively an orphan; so there's not really any reason for me to follow the usual procedure around these things.

 

 

Fun story: I knew this girl in high school who was obsessive about weddings and loved the really weird Vegas-type ones where everybody dresses up as Star Wars characters or whatever, but was a super religious homophobe and wanted to "preserve the sanctity of marriage" against gay people. Whee!

Oi that is cringe inducing. Maybe I'm just really old fashioned, and I really don't give a fuck what people do with their weddings but I'm not a fan of themed weddings. Then again, who the fuck cares what I think right? It's their wedding. 

As for me, I would like to get married on the moon. If that is not possible then on top of a mountain. It will be closer to the moon. 

[Bjorn]

So I refer to my wife sometimes around here.  Funny story, we aren't actually married.  I proposed 10 years ago, we built a house together, raised her daughter, created a business.  Kinda forgot about the whole wedding part of it.  Whoops!  At some point it became a lot easier for us to use husband and wife though, as the family started giving us shit for still calling each other fiance after about 7 years of being engaged. 

 

We actually talk about having a super casual beach wedding, but never get around to planning anything. 

[melmer]

You will, and it'll be amazing. There's no rush

[tegan]

So I refer to my wife sometimes around here.  Funny story, we aren't actually married.  I proposed 10 years ago, we built a house together, raised her daughter, created a business.  Kinda forgot about the whole wedding part of it.  Whoops!  At some point it became a lot easier for us to use husband and wife though, as the family started giving us shit for still calling each other fiance after about 7 years of being engaged. 

 

We actually talk about having a super casual beach wedding, but never get around to planning anything. 

 

Serious talk: you should get legally married ASAP and leave the ceremony part until whenever you feel like it, just for the purposes of taxation and medical visiting rights and other such legal stuff.

[Bjorn]

Serious talk: you should get legally married ASAP and leave the ceremony part until whenever you feel like it, just for the purposes of taxation and medical visiting rights and other such legal stuff.

 

We've actually taken care of that as much as possible through other legal means (power of attorney, medical power of attorney, etc), and we've taken additional legal measures to protect one another on top of that.  It's not perfect, but most conceivable contingencies are covered.  Taxes are a non-issue, as we'd file separately even if we were married (the structure of our income is such that it's better that way).

 

I was pretty flip with my earlier response, but it is something we've actually given a lot of thought and consideration. 

 

Non-serious comment!  So Mington, are the traditional goofy dances in the UK that only appear at weddings?  Besides whatever fabulous walk down the aisle you do.

[miffy495]

Get a bigass cake.

 

I want to get married someday, but I have no idea what kind of ceremony I should have. I'm an athiest, a lesbian, and effectively an orphan; so there's not really any reason for me to follow the usual procedure around these things.

 

My girlfriend of seven years, to this point quite anti-marriage, recently started talking about it after we attended her aunt's ceremony. She and her now-husband did it on their 10th anniversary in a little forest clearing out in Kananaskis, which was nice. We started talking about what we'd do. We're both atheists, don't want families involved, and are not exactly gender-normative (she's self-described "butch" bisexual, I look like a quarterback due to genetics and having to be clean-cut for work, but am a punk at heart who loves being gender-subversive) so we have a similar problem. I have suggested taking a plane some place tropical, throwing an effigy of something into a volcano, and calling that a ceremony. I think volcano sacrifice is something that more couples should really be looking into these days. Let's have a return to the old ways. Monotheism has really eroded at humanity's traditional values.

[melmer]

Traditional goofy dances in the UK that only appear at weddings?

The May pole dance will happen shortly after the ceremony. Then the bells come out for Morris dancing as the sunsets. Topped off with 'oops upside your head' when the party really gets going.

Nah the only traditional dancing I have with my friends is that the night has to finish with Frank Sinatra New York New York, and we all get in to a linked arm circle huddle and do a slow drunken meandering can can

Fuck wedding DJs, the DJ at my friends wedding a few weeks ago said mid set over the mic "the groom asked my not to play this one, but I'm going to play it anyway" ABBA dancing queen.

[dibs]

Be careful with that miffy. Just because you don't believe in volcano gods, doesn't mean they don't believe in you.

[syntheticgerbil]

Sacrifice the body into a bog, then stick your thumbs together through a hole in a big rock.

[osmosisch]

We have such fond memories of our wedding weekend. Because things are so much cheaper in Poland we could afford to rent a holiday complex for a weekend to have all our friends and family in one convenient place. Wonderful.

http://www.blipfoto.com/entry/673561

[melmer]

That picture is the best!

I went to a 2 day polish wedding like 8 years ago. 12 course meal, non stop vodka, crazy dancing (in which my mother fell over and cracked her pelvis) good times.

After about an hour bickering we are right this minute booking our honeymoon. Well, the Bali leg of the honeymoon (we are also going to stop off in Dubai on the way) as Expedia have an Asia hotel sale on that finishes today... Done, gotta go now

[James]

The May pole dance will happen shortly after the ceremony. Then the bells come out for Morris dancing as the sunsets.

I was going to say that the only traditional English dancing I could think of is Morris dancing, and that's not really good for anything other than social ostracization.

[Ucantalas]

Well, first of all, congratulations Mington!

Secondly, if I get married, I want it to be small and fun. ...and in space. Well, at the very least some of it in space. Like maybe just the part where we say "I do"? Can we do that? Then come back down to a fun little party. With clowns! In tuxedos! Clowns in tuxes serving champagne! YES. ...now I just need someone who would both be willing to marry me and willing to have a wedding like that.

...has there ever been a couple married in space? That'd be a pretty cool first if there isn't.