I Had A Random Thought...

[Mangela Lansbury]

Naw, you didn't come across that way. I'm just acutely aware of how bad the problem of overprescription is and how that leads people into addiction because I see direct numbers for just the hospital I work with. They are shockingly high, month after month, and we're even aggressively trying to control the problem (along with "medication diversion," since a nurse died and a doctor almost died when they stole and took opiates at the hospital). Because I support a group that encourages people to question their doctor if they feel they're being overprescribed, and people are usually hesitant to question a doctor about something they assume they're being careful about, I felt compelled to put up a little disclaimer!

 

Epidemic is misused a lot tho, so that's fair. Try not to let addicts near you. You might catch the crave. (Any drug dealers are welcome to use "catch the crave" as the slogan for their business, or during a first one's free promotional period.)

[Zeusthecat]

Yeah, I just really hate the way drug use is discussed in an almost universal negative light in modern society. Describing it as an "epidemic" just further poisons the conversation and demonizes people.

Drugs can definitely be pretty terrible. But in my experience, they can also be totally awesome.

[Patrick R]

Election year. I had to subscribe to the New York Times on an election year. I am an IDIOT.

[Zeusthecat]

I try to avoid paying attention to dumb celebrity stuff but inevitably, some of it still bleeds into my brain thanks to the prevalence of Twitter and social media.

 

One thing that is amazing to me is how a person as terrible as Kanye West is still able to land gigs and maintain a following despite his constant awfulness. It is kind of fascinating. There have been very few people I've witnessed that have had such a wide combination of terrible traits and have managed to maintain so much support despite all of that. As much as I can't stand the guy, everything I ever hear or read involving him is entertaining as hell.

[Reyturner]

Being the greatest living artist on Earth has its benefits. 

[Griddlelol]

When does something stop being an excuse and become a reason?

[dibs]

When does something stop being a grape, and start being a raisin?

[Ben X]

When does something stop being an excuse and become a reason?

I could tell you but my dog ate the piece of paper I had the answer written on.

[Dewar]

When does something stop being an excuse and become a reason?

 

An excuse is trying to escape blame, while a reason is accepting the blame but talking about what could make the situation better next time?

 

Or, there is no difference.

[Mangela Lansbury]

An excuse is trying to escape blame, while a reason is accepting the blame but talking about what could make the situation better next time?

 

Or, there is no difference.

 

There is a difference, and it's in that intention.

 

The difference between an excuse and a reason is what comes after. If whatever action prompted the excuse/reason persists with the same or a related excuse/reason, it's an excuse. If the action stops or continues with some kind of compensatory response, it's a reason.

 

For myself, I live with depression. It sometimes affects my ability to live my life in the way that I'd like to. I've used it as an excuse before when I've been in a really bad place -- continuous bad behaviors with no intention to change them, and I laid all that at the feet of my depression and expected total unwarranted forgiveness. That's a problem. I've also used it as a reason for things. I've done some bad thing, and when asked to explain myself, admitted that it was my depression overcoming my ability to live my life and put in place some kind of plan. If I can't muster up the will to keep these plans to go out to dinner next time, would you be okay with ordering takeout and just coming to my place? If I can't come into work because I'm paralyzed by the anxiety of all the meetings I have lined up for the day, is it okay if I cross-train my coworkers to cover for me?

[Griddlelol]

I could tell you but my dog ate the piece of paper I had the answer written on.

 

What if your dog DID eat the piece of paper with the answer on it? Is an excuse just a reason someone doesn't like?

 

 

There is a difference, and it's in that intention.

 

The difference between an excuse and a reason is what comes after. If whatever action prompted the excuse/reason persists with the same or a related excuse/reason, it's an excuse. If the action stops or continues with some kind of compensatory response, it's a reason.

 

For myself, I live with depression. It sometimes affects my ability to live my life in the way that I'd like to. I've used it as an excuse before when I've been in a really bad place -- continuous bad behaviors with no intention to change them, and I laid all that at the feet of my depression and expected total unwarranted forgiveness. That's a problem. I've also used it as a reason for things. I've done some bad thing, and when asked to explain myself, admitted that it was my depression overcoming my ability to live my life and put in place some kind of plan. If I can't muster up the will to keep these plans to go out to dinner next time, would you be okay with ordering takeout and just coming to my place? If I can't come into work because I'm paralyzed by the anxiety of all the meetings I have lined up for the day, is it okay if I cross-train my coworkers to cover for me?

 

If it's intent, how can someone other than the person giving the excuse know whether it's an excuse or a reason until the (now excuse) has been given multiple times with no change?

[Mangela Lansbury]

If it's intent, how can someone other than the person giving the excuse know whether it's an excuse or a reason until the (now excuse) has been given multiple times with no change?

 

You can't know. It's up to any person's discretion how long they're willing to put up with a pattern of behavior. Pressing a person on how to compensate for a behavior is always an option, and depending on how intolerable the behavior is, it may be worth having that difficult conversation.

[Griddlelol]

So when my boss says "stop giving me excuses" he really means "I don't like you reasons." Since he cannot possibly know my intent. 

[Dewar]

So when my boss says "stop giving me excuses" he really means "I don't like you reasons." Since he cannot possibly know my intent. 

 

He could infer your intent based on past patterns of behavior but, given this conversation and no context, I would agree with that.

 

Edit: Or, depending on the tone of the conversation, he could also be saying that he trusts you will fix the problem and doesn't need reasons.

[Mangela Lansbury]

So when my boss says "stop giving me excuses" he really means "I don't like you reasons." Since he cannot possibly know my intent. 

 

Pretty much. In that case, it's good to ask him to clearly define his expectations and work with him to develop a plan to ensure those expectations are met, assuming they're reasonable. If they're not reasonable expectations, that's a whole other beast.

[Griddlelol]

Oh they were reasonable expectations, we just disagreed on whether it was a good idea. I thought it was a dumb idea and came up with a bunch of "excuses" not to do the work, while his argument was "just do it, can't succeed if you don't try."

While he is right, you can't succeed if you don't try, it's not his time spent on doing something that probably won't work because of pretty good reasons, not excuses. Oh well...!

[Dewar]

I have done that before. It ended up that the manager involved was right, and was nice enough to not hold it over my head

 

Seriously though, we turned it into a pretty successful working relationship.

[Vulpes Absurda]

My brain can be roughly didveded between two parts. This vine:

https://twitter.com/VAbsurda/status/702735255719903232

And this video:

 

(And yes I did link to a tweet where I make the exact same joke but I don't know how to post just a video on this site so that's just how it goes.)

[Griddlelol]

Holyshit, that video made me incredibly nostalgic. I miss Red Alert and how incredibly cheesy it is.

[jennegatron]

I had a dream last night that I got in a fight here on the forums with pabosher that was so savage I quit posting forever. (Nothing personal pabosher, mostly it was your avatar that stuck in my mind I think to single you out as the target)

[undermind9]

im not sure another thread to drop this into -

 

i need to ask some help of anyone with adobe illustrator cc, a little bit of time, and a generally strong computer want to assist me combine some files that arent cooperating in my print & graphic software at work

 

drop me a pm and i'll explain a little more detail, share files, and can walk through the process over dischord, skype, gchat, or whatever preferred telecommunication method

 

ty talk to anyone soon

[Vasari]

I'm finding some real depressing parallels between my experience of online flat hunting and my experience of online dating.

[Dewar]

It is really creepy watching a tarantula effortlessly scale the glass wall of its terrarium.

[Coods]

At some point a year or two ago I broke my black iPhone 4, and replaced it with a white iPhone 4 that a family member gave to me. I'm irrationally averse to iTunes and never bother syncing or updating my phone, so I wiped the new one and kind of just rebuilt my contacts by whoever was important in my life at the time.

 

I eventually also dropped that white phone and broke it, and switched back to the black phone that I had gotten a new screen for. I've done this at least 4 times, and have been alternating between two different phones when one breaks. Essentially, entire seasons of my life exist on separate devices, and there are holes in both from when I was using the other device. I switched back to the old phone recently, and it's weird to see all the text archives to people I don't talk to anymore. One phone has the entire text history of me and an ex girlfriend. Even the wallpapers and icon arrangement evoke a really strange kind of nostalgia for me. 

 

I should just start using phone cases. 

[Badfinger]

Happy Ides.