Life

[Justin Leego]

Sorry to hear the grind's getting you down dude. I think it does happen to almost all of us.

 

So, slightly random or possibly related to your quest for fulfillment, have you been to any of the Juegos Rancheros dev nights in Austin, synth?

[syntheticgerbil]

Unfortunately, not yet. Before when I had a job they'd go on before I could get out of work it seemed, but I have been getting the invites. I was going to go to the last one but I was working on my website stuff that evening. I will definitely be showing up to the next however since I have time and no idea of what to do except wait for rejection or acceptance letters.

[Twig]

I empathize, gerbs.

 

Having a job you're not all that passionate about can be really awful. I'm currently working at a mobile games company, which on its surface doesn't seem like it would be that bad, except it's the games I'm making are the stereotypical Evil Money-Grabbing "games". I really love the people I'm working with, I think the company has a great culture, and I'm not forced to work long hours. (Sometimes I do by my own choice, because I just want to Get Something Done, but that's literally my choice.) I've been here almost a year, now.

 

But it's really hard to keep giving a shit when I see my friends working on: Deadpool, Titanfall, Mad Max (actually he's in the New York Avalanche studio and I think I was told Mad Max is Sweden studio so who knows what he's working on), Sunset Overdrive, and a host of others. I've got friends everywhere making games I'd be much more interested in working on, let alone playing. I'm definitely proud of the work I do, but I'm not proud of the end product. There is a significant group of people that love the game I make, but it makes me feel kinda gross. It's a game built for product first, fun second. There's been lots of talk around the studio about changing that, and there's a bit of evidence of change, but it's not fast enough, and I don't know how much longer I can take it. But at the same time, even though I don't think I should, I feel bad. I've put a lot of hard work into this game with my team. We all get along great. BLEHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

 

I also don't necessarily want to make AAA games. In fact, I'm one-hundred percent positive I don't, unless it's Valve. Even that, I'm not so sure. I love all their games, but they take so long to make them that I'm not sure I'd like it. Biggest I really want to go is Double Fine or Telltale. They both make games I love, and have been doing so for years. I've followed Telltale since Bone! Goddamnit. I just want to make games that I want to play. Games that I can show my friends, who are mostly also gamers, and they'll want to play.

 

Which is why I need to stop being a lazy piece of shit and start making my own games in my spare time. But work exhausts me.

 

Not to mention the massive pile of debt I have to work off. So I can't even afford to be picky in where I work.

 

YUCK.

[syntheticgerbil]

Oh yes, working on Free to Play games, I can empathize, that's exactly what I was doing last. It's gross when you work in a marketplace where you must create obvious sellers only. That means all women must have big tits and show a lot of skin, while all men must be power fantasies. I was working on a fairy decorating Farmville clone for a while, that was interesting. The idea was to outdo the other artists with the most frilly and color oversaturated thing ever, as those were the big sellers (at ridiculous prices even). The Evony style ads began about two months ago.

 

But I think the designers were the most upset working on free to play, because if another game was not already doing some particular function or game loop, then they were not allowed to. Although the UI artist was never allowed to deviate either. Farmville, Smurf Village, Deep Realms, and League of Legends all must be mimicked not even improved upon. To add insult to injury, the company paid the designers the least, and never actually gave them an official title other than lofty "producer." We also were never allowed credits for fear of someone getting angry being uncredited for something they did (yes one of the actual reasons I was given on why not).

 

Yeah I don't think I'd ever want to do the AAA thing either. I find the studio setting I feel most comfortable in is the one where I wear multiple hats, and AAA studios are not equipped for that. It's hard to find a small studio, let alone one that pays, especially with the current job market in Austin.

[I_smell]

This thread will go down in history as the founding of "Idle Games".

Who surprisingly make their money by outsourcing Bejewelled clones.

[Twig]

Hah. One of the artists on my team recently quit, and rumor had it that the call for "more sexy ladies" was the reason. She fought it tooth and nail but was eventually forced to just give up. A couple months later: gone. She was an awesome artist, too. ):

 

Our artists are pretty much always asking to be able to make more gruesome monsters (it's a card battling game), and, in fact, lately a lot of the most vocal users in our community are asking for more gruesome monsters... Hopefully we'll see some change there.

[dibs]

Gruesome monsters with huge tits I hope.

[Gormongous]

Fifty-fifty split, gruesome ladies and sexy monsters.

[Ucantalas]

The last game I worked on was a mobile game based on a type of rodeo game. Nothing inherently money grubbing or anything. But long story short, I ended up programming a game from scratch:

1)Based on rodeo thing I had never heard of for the gameplay;
2)Targeting iOS and Android, platforms I had never worked on;
3)Using a Mac to make sure the iOS version worked (when I had never used a Mac before)
4)Using LUA, a language I had never used before
5)And using CoronaSDK, software I had never used before.

It was like teaching a guy to swim by throwing him off the Titanic.

(And just so we're clear, I had made these facts abundantly clear to my boss before I was ever actually started on the project. ...it didn't turn out so great.)

[SecretAsianMan]

I would love to have the problems you guys are describing.  Because at the very least it means what you're doing matters to you somewhat.  My problem is that I kind of don't care either way.  I'm not saying I do a bad job or I don't put effort into my work, it's just that I'm not at all excited by what I do.  I'm an engineer, and I sit in a cubicle all day, mostly doing paperwork and very little actual engineering.  I want to care enough to say "This is shit" or "This is great" or anything in the middle.  But for me, my job is just a job.  It's a paycheck, one I can't leave at the moment and probably won't be able to for a long time.  I'd much rather be working on a game, even a shitty one.

 

None of that is meant to be sarcastic or insulting and if it is I apologize.

[Zeusthecat]

I would love to have the problems you guys are describing.  Because at the very least it means what you're doing matters to you somewhat.  My problem is that I kind of don't care either way.  I'm not saying I do a bad job or I don't put effort into my work, it's just that I'm not at all excited by what I do.  I'm an engineer, and I sit in a cubicle all day, mostly doing paperwork and very little actual engineering.  I want to care enough to say "This is shit" or "This is great" or anything in the middle.  But for me, my job is just a job.  It's a paycheck, one I can't leave at the moment and probably won't be able to for a long time.  I'd much rather be working on a game, even a shitty one.

 

None of that is meant to be sarcastic or insulting and if it is I apologize.

I know what it's like to do work that doesn't excite you. I got a degree in electrical engineering and for the first two years out of school I was doing street lighting and power design. It was super fucking lame but I had to take the job because the economy was horrible and I had no other options. I definitely did not anticipate working in AutoCAD and Revit, having to get my P.E., and working primarily with civil engineers (not that there's anything wrong with civil engineering). To top things off I worked with assholes on power trips.

I was super lucky that our firm had a software group and managed to build a case to the powers that be to let me transfer over. Life has been great since then and the people I work with now are amazing.

Hang in there man and just keep your eyes open for any good opportunities.

[syntheticgerbil]

 I'm an engineer, and I sit in a cubicle all day, mostly doing paperwork and very little actual engineering.  I want to care enough to say "This is shit" or "This is great" or anything in the middle.  But for me, my job is just a job.  It's a paycheck, one I can't leave at the moment and probably won't be able to for a long time.  I'd much rather be working on a game, even a shitty one.

 

None of that is meant to be sarcastic or insulting and if it is I apologize.

Is it strange I want your life so bad right now? Maybe grass is greener, but I just kind of want to know I can have a job for decades to come without becoming irrelevant so quickly. Because it seems like I kind of got myself stuck. Last time I couldn't find a job as an artist for a while, I started trying doofy minimum wage jobs again, except this time no one would hire me because my resume was all professional work that just told a story of a guy who would quit the second he found a job on his career path again. The "Where do you see yourself in five years?" no longer becomes an easy question to answer in a Walgreen's interview (hint, the answer is always Walgreen's). I can't imagine switching a career wihout needing to acquire more crappy student loan debt and exhausting myself again with some super crappy job to pay the bills while I try to juggle school.

 

I mean the end intention on a career change would be to just make art a hobby again.

[miffy495]

I'm not sure what kind of art degree/training you have, but maybe try to break into a different field? I have a friend who worked as a mural painter on commission for years and did ok for herself, but after a divorce left her needing a more reliable income decided to get into metal work. It's still a fantastic artistic outlet for her as she's getting to explore sculpture while making a steady buck making signs and the like for businesses, and she's absolutely loving the work. 

[syntheticgerbil]

It's a Bachelor's in "Media Arts and Animation," whatever Media Arts means. I did enjoy sculpture in high school but it was ceramic only. I'm not sure where I would begin. I wouldn't mind getting out of video games though as it doesn't matter to me.

 

Working freelance for yourself is tough, but I guess I could look in to what kind of niche I may be able to fill in this city. I kind of always wanted to break into children's book illustration or just plain comic books, but neither seems like a stable income unless you make a name for yourself. I suppose I have a lot of thinking to do.

[dibs]

Could you do fancy website design with that training?

Also, I don't know why I'm thinking this, but old school gig advertisements and music festival adverts always look amazing to me.

[subbes]

I'm swimming in panic about my job at the moment because I'm the only developer for a project that is going to be pitched to VC soon.  I have no formal CS background, and I'm p sure that my code is terrible and as soon as we try to actually roll it out to a proper customer it will all fall apart, I will be fired, and I'll have to swan-dive off the bridge.

[I Saw Dasein]

The VCs don't know that though, and once you get the $$$ you can fix the project. It's all about the pitch dude. 

[Frenetic Pony]

Life happens to you.

[Roderick]

You are effing kidding me, Lego! How am I supposed to deal with all of this? I still haven't even constructed the Tower Bridge, and now the Sydney opera house?

 

[Nachimir]

I'm swimming in panic about my job at the moment because I'm the only developer for a project that is going to be pitched to VC soon.

 

I Saw Daesin is right, this is totally how that stuff works: The prototype is rough as shite, as long as it shows something to prop up the pitch and get the money. Having one at all can make a pitch impressive compared to others.

[Twig]

I bought a bike yesterday!

 

Between where I live and the place I want to bike to (and from) on a daily basis is a length of three miles. One mile to the bike shop. I made it there fine on foot. Walking is not an issue. I tested out some bikes, bought the bike I wanted, and tried to bike the rest of the way to the BART station I wanted to get to. I didn't make it all the way. Probably about a mile and a half on bike. Pushed it the last half a mile (until I got to the top of a hill near the station, at which point I coasted down).

 

Holy moly I'm out of shape!

 

I went into town, did Escape from the Magic Show (it was awesome, but we failed, because we suck - and another reason that'll just make it sound like I'm bitter (BECAUSE I AM)). Took train back to station. Grabbed bike. Had headache, took Caltrain home. YEARGH.

 

Fell asleep at like 6pm, literally, and woke up at 6am. Probably the best night's sleep I've had in a long while. Weird how doing physical activity does that for you...

 

So I decided not to bike to the station this morning, but when I get back tonight, I'll just ride it around my neighborhood until I'm exhausted, and keep doing that every night until I'm confident I can make it to the station. I'm excited to reach the point where I'm NOT a lazy shit anymore!

 

Also my ass hurts. Ow.

[osmosisch]

If you've got a not-too-old Android phone, Ingress is a great excuse to get out and about. That could help with motivation.

[SecretAsianMan]

Bikes and I have a bad history.  I bought 2 during college and both of them were stolen.  I discovered the first was missing the morning I, ironically enough, was going to register it with campus police in case it got stolen.  The second was stolen from inside a locked closet in a locked building, along with the dozen or so other bikes stored there belonging to the other tenants.

 

Also I am living proof that the old adage "once you learn how to ride a bike you never forget" is false.  The first thing I did on my first bike that was stolen was fall down.  The second thing I did was steer it into the wall directly to my right and fall down again.  I was lucky not to turn left and into traffic.

[Twig]

Yeah I've heard about Ingress and that's a good idea!

 

Re: "once you learn": It's been 10 years since I rode a bike for more than fifteen seconds. I picked it up again pretty quick. I was a bit surprised at myself, to be honest. Still not really comfortable enough to ride on streets, if I can avoid it, but I did all right (except for dying from exhaustion).

[Ucantalas]

I can barely ride a bike. I just could not get the hang of turning for some reason. Any time I tried turning I would find myself on the ground. And thats just basic turning. I can't even begin to try doing things like signaling. Or going downhill, that always ended badly as well.

Because I was essentially unable to ride in anything but a straight, flat line, I stopped riding bikes at all by the time I was in highschool. I am still terrified to even try riding one again.