Garple

(IGN.com)

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I couldn't not post this. Found on Metacritic and it can be witnessed in action here. Genius. You couldn't make this shit up (and we didn't).

"It's a game that knocks on your front door, waits for you to answer in a towel and your favorite pair of slippers, rips your head off, and shoves itself down your throat." - IGN.com

This might be the best "real" IGN quote I've ever seen.

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Incredible.

Just a tad too long for twitter, but up there with a link now :tup::tup::tup:

I wonder if they actually have a style guide?

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"If you're looking at this review in a few years when the game is cheap, add a point or two to the score." -- IGN.com

"If you're looking at this review in a few years when its next-gen realistic graphics look like shit, subtract a point or two from the score." -- IGN.com

"The online stat-tracking provided the perfect alibi in court. Thanks, Sony!" -- IGN.com

"I was able to spell 'orgasm' and 'poop.' 'Pussy,' though, was not accepted." -- IGN.com

"If the balls get in the mouth, it's game over -- kind of like a game of Twister." -- IGN.com

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"Makes you feel like the badass warrior you were meant to be"-IGN.com

c/o- Steams mass effect descrip.

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these might be shit, but that's life and I don't have any imagination.

"Like the older kids a school, this game will make you eat mud, then throw your bag in the canal" -- IGN.com

"Scratching until you bleed was more fun that this game is" -- IGN.com

S.

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"Even Obama couldn't reform this game." Ign.com

real ones:

"It's going to be a familiar experience for anyone that played the original!" - IGN.com

"easier to digest!" - IGN.com

"It starts slow and the presentation isn't perfect!" - IGN.com

Exclamation points were added.

Oh God...

From IGN's review of Heavy Rain.

"Were this filmed as a Hollywood picture, it would perfectly fit the body of work of someone like Martin Scorsese or David Fincher."

Sigh.

Also: The screenshot captions in IGN reviews are so weirdly bland and matter-of-fact that they seem like they were translated poorly from Japanese or something.

From Heavy Rain review:

"The art direction is great."

"Character development is handled very well."

"Intense scenes are rather common in Heavy Rain."

Edited by GrouchoClub

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"Were this filmed as a Hollywood picture, it would perfectly fit the body of work of someone like Martin Scorsese or David Fincher."

Jesus. That's bad.

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"Yakuza 4 will pick up a scooter and smash you in the face" - IGN.com

From here.

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<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDanX-beShQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDanX-beShQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>



"Heads will roll!" - IGN.com

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I don't know if it's appropriate or not to post this here, but here it goes. Apparently there have been a lot of layoffs at News Corp/IGN, according to a leaked memo over at Joystiq. Among the casualties are Podcast Beyond host and Former Executive Editor at IGN, Chris Roper, industry veteran Andy Eddy of Team Xbox, and founder of Team Xbox Brent "Shockwave" Soboleski.

This fucking sucks. And the forum responses to this have been total rubbish, ranging from people saying these people deserved to get fired to recommending other IGN employees get fired for reasons as petty as multiplayer game etiquette.

On a totally selfish note, I just hope that Podcast Beyond doesn't get totally decimated in all this. It won't be the same without Roper, but I still enjoy it from week to week and would hate to see one of the better podcasts out there wiped off the face of the internet. Also, a link to CastMedium's post on the issue, including links to the respective IGN and TeamXbox forum threads:

http://www.castmedium.com/2010/03/16/layoffs-strike-ign-and-team-xbox/

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I don't know if it's appropriate or not to post this here, but here it goes. Apparently there have been a lot of layoffs at News Corp/IGN, according to a leaked memo over at Joystiq. Among the casualties are Podcast Beyond host and Former Executive Editor at IGN, Chris Roper, industry veteran Andy Eddy of Team Xbox, and founder of Team Xbox Brent "Shockwave" Soboleski.

This fucking sucks. And the forum responses to this have been total rubbish, ranging from people saying these people deserved to get fired to recommending other IGN employees get fired for reasons as petty as multiplayer game etiquette.

On a totally selfish note, I just hope that Podcast Beyond doesn't get totally decimated in all this. It won't be the same without Roper, but I still enjoy it from week to week and would hate to see one of the better podcasts out there wiped off the face of the internet. Also, a link to CastMedium's post on the issue, including links to the respective IGN and TeamXbox forum threads:

http://www.castmedium.com/2010/03/16/layoffs-strike-ign-and-team-xbox/

"NewsCorp will lay you off an leave you desitute." -IGN.com

Seriously, though, that is really sad. Poor guys.

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I don't know if it's appropriate or not to post this here, but here it goes. Apparently there have been a lot of layoffs at News Corp/IGN, according to a leaked memo over at Joystiq. Among the casualties are Podcast Beyond host and Former Executive Editor at IGN, Chris Roper, industry veteran Andy Eddy of Team Xbox, and founder of Team Xbox Brent "Shockwave" Soboleski.

This fucking sucks. And the forum responses to this have been total rubbish, ranging from people saying these people deserved to get fired to recommending other IGN employees get fired for reasons as petty as multiplayer game etiquette.

On a totally selfish note, I just hope that Podcast Beyond doesn't get totally decimated in all this. It won't be the same without Roper, but I still enjoy it from week to week and would hate to see one of the better podcasts out there wiped off the face of the internet. Also, a link to CastMedium's post on the issue, including links to the respective IGN and TeamXbox forum threads:

http://www.castmedium.com/2010/03/16/layoffs-strike-ign-and-team-xbox/

"These layoffs totally suuuuck." - IGN.com

"We only fire the best." - IGN.com

Seriously though, I can't say that I normally feel affected when layoffs happen. I know that last year's 1UP layoffs signalled a complete change in their site structure, as well as the change from "1Up Yours" to "Listen UP", but I completely don't understand what has actually happened over at IGN.

The only staff member I know of that has been given the sack is Chris Roper, and personally, I think that's ridiculous. Why lay him off? He's a great podcast host (Beyond is one of the better podcasts on the internet, period), a good writer and it always sounded like he was a hard worker. Why did he get laid off?

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I seriously can't be bothered to read through 32 pages of awesome, but has anybody already had

It will please you with a depth that might suprise you (IGN.com)

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I seriously can't be bothered to read through 32 pages of awesome, but has anybody already had

It will please you with a depth that might suprise you (IGN.com)

I think I posted that a ways back :tup: Love that quote.

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I think I posted that a ways back :tup: Love that quote.

Yeah I guessed it would be, was just wondering though. Thanks.

"If this game had more breasts, it would be the best game ever!" (IGN.com)

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IGN - The Price You Pay to Play.

Those answers largely come down to personal preference, but there's no arguing unequal games cost equal amounts. A short, broken mess like Rouge Warrior carries the exact same MSRP as Fallout 3, which rocks over ten times the content and a few thousand more layers of polish. But if Rouge Warrior is grossly overpriced for what it offers, then Fallout 3 is clearly under-priced. Digging every secret and side quest out of the Capital Wasteland can take between sixty and a hundred hours... that's a hell of a lot of game for your dollar. To the point where I can't help but think developer/publisher Bethesda got slightly shafted.

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Rouge Warrior

Was "Rouge" (sic)? Doesn't matter, laughed my ass off the whole time picturing my wife's cosmetics bin. Maybe Rouge Warrior is the stuff Kratos puts on his face.

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