Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
RubixsQube

Jurassic World: Wasting away in Margaritaville

Recommended Posts

Reflecting on this, the hybrid dino means that, presumably, the Jurassic World staff felt that tourists were somehow not impressed enough by their theme park full of real fucking dinosaurs.

 

I thought this too! "Hey guys, we have a T-rex, tame velociraptors, and a fucking enormous Mosasaurus in the pool, but what I think this park could really do with is something deadlier and more agile".

 

 

Quoted for truth:

 

A+++

 

WOMAN TO BLAME

 

CUT TO BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'll chuck it in here as well for prosperity

 

Opening Scene of Jurassic World

 

Chris Pratt is stalking through the jungle, he sees a rustling in the brushes ahead of him and moves closer, the scene feels very reminiscent of Robert Muldoon's demise in the the original film.

 

You are scared

 

Chris Pratt's eyes narrow, is that a tail in the distances?... then a raptor bursts from the jungle next to him. "Clever girl" Chris exclaims before the raptor pounces

 

You shut your eyes to shield yourself from the mutilation that is no doubt unfolding on the screen before you , "not again" you utter to yourself... but then you hear... laughing!? you look back at the screen

 

The raptor is licking Chris Pratt's face as they roll around together on the jungle floor. More raptors burst out of the jungle and join in the frivolities. Chris Pratt beams from ear to ear.

 

Screen fades to black

 

JURASSIC WORLD

 

After the events of the first three films, and by events a mean 'people being ripped limb from limb by velociraptors'. The scientists this time round decided that If they were to breed raptors again they would make sure that they wouldn't attack humans in the way they have before, so, they genetically melded them with dog DNA. Yes, Man's arch-nemosis is now man's best friend. The main villain of the previous films is now the hero! Its Jurassic park after all, the raptor had to be the star of the show.

 

 

y7bwfkk72k55c9odsddy.jpg = 158719946_101.jpg

 

 

By the end of this film you will have weeped at the death of Chris Pratt's favourite raptor, who sacrificed itself to save its master.

 

Also, i cared about Jurassic World before it was cool

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is everyone assuming the raptors are tame from that one shot? There's the possibility they're all running from the same thing Pratt's character is...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Look at Pratts face. Thats a determined going somewhere face not a being chased running away face

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I really like the idea of a theme park that has fucking dinosaurs in it, and all the comment cards are saying is "what have you done for us lately?"

 

We have small pieces of glass that connect to the entirety of human knowledge, available on a two-year contract, and we somehow manage to be disappointed when they bring out a new one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mington, on 27 Nov 2014 - 14:01, said:

Look at Pratts face. Thats a determined going somewhere face not a being chased running away face

That's a going to the nearest IMAX multiplex to watch Jurassic World face.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's a going to the nearest IMAX multiplex to watch Jurassic World face.

Jurassic World isn't out yet. He's going back to an IMAX Multiplex to see Interstellar for 26th time, using his all you can watch pass that would let him explore the wonder and mystery of it as much as he wants.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is everyone assuming the raptors are tame from that one shot? There's the possibility they're all running from the same thing Pratt's character is...

There was another version of the trailer that leaked a day or two early wherein Pratt is talking down one of the raptors, I shit you not.

 

http://www74.zippyshare.com/v/41079300/file.html

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...What the hell is that noise at the end of that video?

Also NICE TAME RAPTORS I WANT ONE.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bjorn, on 27 Nov 2014 - 18:41, said:

Jurassic World isn't out yet. He's going back to an IMAX Multiplex to see Interstellar for 26th time, using his all you can watch pass that would let him explore the wonder and mystery of it as much as he wants.

Jurassic World isn't a film about going to see Jurassic World?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You know, I'm more interested to see a JP movie with tamed raptors than the usual raptors. We've already had three films almost exactly the same, I'm glad they're going a bit mental with this one. I'm just hoping it's a bad trailer for a good film ...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Judy Greer, Ty Burrell (I think), Bryce Dallas Howard..?

Should have specified. I meant goofy character actors.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Watched the trailer again. Think I was wrong about Ty Burrell. Also as previously mentioned, a lot of the effects, colour coding etc looks relatively bad for such a prestige and visual-effects-history-associated franchise. I'm hoping that stuff is still 'in alpha' and by June they will have polished it all up. I'm also going into "la la la" mode for this now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's a fun website.

There's a volcano on the island :) will it be erupting at the end of the film :tup: T-Rex roaring it's head off against a backdrop of spewing lava and a red, ash filled sky

Walking out of the cinema and hearing a person in front of me say "...so all the dinosaurs escaped AND a volcano erupted with in a few hours of each other??? That's a bit far fetched" :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

http://www.jurassicworld.com/

 

Please direct your attention to the What's Happening box.

Mr. DNA confirmed??

 

That website is clever, but too sloppy. There are mistakes all over the place (on the T-Rex facts page, Sue is not the name of the first T-Rex fossil ever found), and it looks too much like what it is: an advertisement for a fake amusement park from a movie, rather than what it could be. A quick trip to Disneyland's web site shows the information you'd want to present to the public (nobody uses a public website for ride queue times, for instance). I know that this sort of nitpicking is mega tedious, but what is the goal of this website (and a few others, including this one, for Masrani Global, the company who currently owns InGen), really? I'd assume it's to drum up excitement for the film through ARG-esque interconnected websites. On one hand, this is successful, but, if you're going to dip into the website uncanny valley, you have to really sell it, and so the little silly aspects (the Jurassic World website's page on John Hammond uses a quote from Jurassic Park in a wink-wink, audience, cheeseball way) and mistakes just ruin the illusion. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'll chuck it in here as well for prosperity

 

Opening Scene of Jurassic World

 

Chris Pratt is stalking through the jungle, he sees a rustling in the brushes ahead of him and moves closer, the scene feels very reminiscent of Robert Muldoon's demise in the the original film.

 

You are scared

 

Chris Pratt's eyes narrow, is that a tail in the distances?... then a raptor bursts from the jungle next to him. "Clever girl" Chris exclaims before the raptor pounces

 

You shut your eyes to shield yourself from the mutilation that is no doubt unfolding on the screen before you , "not again" you utter to yourself... but then you hear... laughing!? you look back at the screen

 

The raptor is licking Chris Pratt's face as they roll around together on the jungle floor. More raptors burst out of the jungle and join in the frivolities. Chris Pratt beams from ear to ear.

 

Screen fades to black

 

JURASSIC WORLD

 

After the events of the first three films, and by events a mean 'people being ripped limb from limb by velociraptors'. The scientists this time round decided that If they were to breed raptors again they would make sure that they wouldn't attack humans in the way they have before, so, they genetically melded them with dog DNA. Yes, Man's arch-nemosis is now man's best friend. The main villain of the previous films is now the hero! Its Jurassic park after all, the raptor had to be the star of the show.

 

 

y7bwfkk72k55c9odsddy.jpg = 158719946_101.jpg

 

 

By the end of this film you will have weeped at the death of Chris Pratt's favourite raptor, who sacrificed itself to save its master.

 

Also, i cared about Jurassic World before it was cool

THIS movie would excite the hell out of me!  I would be all about seeing THIS movie!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Can you imagine if you went into Jurassic World expecting some generic dinosaur mutant and THAT was the result?

 

I don't think anything in life would make me happier than for the movie to be one giant prank.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mr. DNA has become a sentient AI trying to take down the park from the inside.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel like this cab driver when I think about this film. It doesn't care about me. It doesn't respect me. 

 

uaP9uuT.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×