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brkl, how long does it take to bend and set plywood like that? Every time I see it done, I idly intend to get around to learning how.

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I have no idea, that's far above my abilities. My father is the one who knows how to build these, he did some of the more difficult bits and told me how to do the rest. We took the plywood from an old couch, so we didn't have to bend it ourselves. Next we'll make one for him, although with a simpler construction. That thing doesn't have a single right angle (even where it should), so it was pretty difficult to work with.

Being such a nerd and an academic, it felt really good to actually make something with my hands.

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Being such a nerd and an academic, it felt really good to actually make something with my hands.

Or with your dad's hands anyway.

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So some of you know a little about the stuff that was going on with me and the complicated situation with that girl. Things actually got less complicated and significantly better for a while, but now it seems like she's on the path to getting back with the guy and I don't want to stick around to see myself becoming the secondary to their relationship again, so it's over.

Pretty sure this is the genuine ending this time. Felt like I should note it here for completion's sake, even though you guys have only had bits and pieces of the narrative. Also, any good distraction tactics or other ideas you have for (what should hopefully be a fairly traditional now) breakup, argh everything reminds me of her, etc. stage I'd appreciate it.

This is the time when I kind of wish I played an MMO, or something else like it that can just suck up as much time and thought as you're willing to give it.

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Is there any project you might want to do? Make a game :P What I found is that it doesn't help (didn't for me) trying to convince yourself that you're over her, and try to shut out every thought of her. I found that I had strange moods after I was supposedly "over it", and later understood it was just me feeling shitty about the breakup again. Keeping yourself busy is certainly a good idea.

Eventually the pain will wear out and when you do get reminded of her, it won't hurt. But it might take a long time.

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So some of you know a little about the stuff that was going on with me and the complicated situation with that girl. Things actually got less complicated and significantly better for a while, but now it seems like she's on the path to getting back with the guy and I don't want to stick around to see myself becoming the secondary to their relationship again, so it's over.

Pretty sure this is the genuine ending this time. Felt like I should note it here for completion's sake, even though you guys have only had bits and pieces of the narrative. Also, any good distraction tactics or other ideas you have for (what should hopefully be a fairly traditional now) breakup, argh everything reminds me of her, etc. stage I'd appreciate it.

This is the time when I kind of wish I played an MMO, or something else like it that can just suck up as much time and thought as you're willing to give it.

Exactly what brkl just said. Just tell your closest friends that you're feeling like shit, and that you want to be distracted. If they're good friends, they'll help you by distracting you CONSTANTLY.

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Same old things - delete FB, twitter, phone numbers, emails, chuck/burn/delete photos etc. Perhaps any gift that's just sitting about not used (ornament), sling that too.

Then go down the pub. With your mates, not on your own, obviously!

Come camping! (haha, sorry :) )

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Thanks for sharing

Tell us about your life, KlasSKr33. We'll thank you for sharing. Over, and over, and over again.

So some of you know a little about the stuff that was going on with me and the complicated situation with that girl.

More or less totally with brkl and Scrobbs on this. Getting rid of stuff and connections can help massively, though give yourself some time to think about it without dwelling. Unprocessed thoughts and emotions can be really poisonous.

For a week or so earlier this year, I had no choice to bury something pretty traumatic that a person did to me (well, the other option was to let out all of the white hot rage, subside into a short depression and catastrophically fail a few hundred people in the process). Given similar situations I've been in, I'm pretty certain letting it run around my unconscious mostly undisturbed for that week meant it did more damage than it would have.

I'm not saying people shouldn't get help, but outside of extreme or prolonged cases where there's a clinical need, feeling bummed out can be a directed and useful state. It helps us to realign our motives and expectations, and sometimes understand ourselves better.

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Yup, going through my thing I've found it very cathartic to be able to vent to my successor at the Student TV. I only got to know her this semester, when she joined my group, but I bonded very quickly with her once I found out she's also "from the internet".

We're also pretty similar emotionally, but still different enough that it's been pretty good for both of us to compare and contrast stuff. So once this started going down, it was very good to have someone to rant my troubles at, either to get some perspective from her, or just to let it out. So if you have anyone to do this with, I recommend it. Heck, even spelling things out in this thread helped me, and I think it have for you too.

I'm not supposed to admit this, especially not coming from the country where you're supposed to be stoic, reserved, and "fine" all the time, but sympathy feels good. When I'm feeling shitty about something, I will admit it to people that care to listen, because it's a good feeling to hear someone say "well that sucks, and shouldn't happen to you".

Regarding distraction, I am TOO good at this. My first instinct when I feel down or angry or any other uncomfortable emotion, I tend to escape to video games or other pop media. As a result, I am now WAY behind on my bachelor thesis and other schoolwork. <.<

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For a week or so earlier this year, I had no choice to bury something pretty traumatic that a person did to me (well, the other option was to let out all of the white hot rage, subside into a short depression and catastrophically fail a few hundred people in the process)

look I've told you I'm sorry i misspelled your name on my thank-you note for the laser-cut Horace now please drop it

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Oh shit, you did that to him too?

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look I've told you I'm sorry i misspelled your name on my thank-you note for the laser-cut Horace now please drop it

The anger is subsiding now, but don't think you're anywhere near getting on the $9.95 per minute dude on dude action mailing list.

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well fine then in return you will never get hot hot Cam Winstanley secrets

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I would have said J Nash secrets but ha ha! everyone knows there is no such thing

THE MAN IS A CIPHER

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This is an interesting thread, though if a post doesn't contain comedy it generally seems to be somewhat on the depressing side. I hope that's not the general theme on life???

On my side, apart from the regular doldrums of work, eat, socialise, respawn, repeat. I'm saving for a house and wedding at the same time, which I can not recommend as something to anyone.

While the wedding fund goes well, this saving for a house business seems to get further and further away. Gone are the days of 0-5% mortgages on houses that were bigger than you had any right to own. Nowadays you get these "playing card" stacked affairs that individually cost more than the entire street together. It's not ideal but I think it's more important to get onto the housing ladder than be picky about the house itself. Of course I'll still need to find something that can have added value in future years.

As I type this I realise I seem like I'm in a much more mature stage in life than I actually act, but then again do you have to be mature to be a homeowner?

Also just finished my first year of beginners Japanese studying via an evening course. Always felt bad travelling to other countries who speak their native language as well as being able to tell me they speak English perfectly fine (don't even get me started on the Belgians that speak 3 languages just because they felt like it was important). I did learn French in school, but due to a distinct lack in anything French except the accent on a female (weak knees), my brain then proceeded to expunge said knowledge at its earliest convenience. Most definitely going into the next year, hopefully with the same classmates as they were all very good people.

There are many things in life that aren't the best at the moment, but guess you gotta plod on and focus on the things you enjoy. Ever since I was young I've always said "You only get one chance at this life, might as well do with it what makes you happy".

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I think it's more important to get onto the housing ladder than be picky about the house itself

I'll quite happily disagree with you there unless you're managing some sort of happy mortgage situation where you can easily sell up & move without making a net loss.

In related home items, my parents are building an extension (years of living in the US meant that their old home in the UK seemed tiny by comparison).

Well, okay, builders are building the extension, my Mum is providing lots of tea for the builders, and my Dad is decompensating because of the disruption to his routine.

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I'll quite happily disagree with you there unless you're managing some sort of happy mortgage situation where you can easily sell up & move without making a net loss.

Non of the above unfortunately. We're still renting at the moment and trying to save for the first mortgage. My thinking is that I don't want to go through life renting and essentially paying someone else so that I can live in a house that they own. Can't make any changes unless I check with the landlord, isn't my idea of having a home.

That bit about the house size comparison between US and UK did tickle me though. :yep:

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70% of German's rent quite happily. Owning a house isn't thought as essential there for some reason.

But I understand your reasons.

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Yes I heard that about most of Europe as well except for UK. I didn't know if that's because it's a better system with landlords or the prices of rental just far outweigh ownership in terms of positives?

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I like not having to do my own maintenance or pay for repairs. For example, if the plumbing breaks in the middle of the night, the landlord has to pay the extortionate costs of having someone come out to fix it.

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Yes I heard that about most of Europe as well except for UK. I didn't know if that's because it's a better system with landlords or the prices of rental just far outweigh ownership in terms of positives?

Just for you, I have asked the MIL. She says that ze Germans don't rent as much as they used to, maybe down to about 50% rent. But anyway, the reasons she gave are: Germans hate being in debt, and the protection for tenants is much stronger over there. Landlords can't just sling you out with no warning, and the longer you've been there, the more notice they must give if they want you to move out. (MIL's sister was given 1 years notice due to time she'd lived in her flat, for example.) They also have to fix shit when you ask them to - there is a dedicated insurance scheme, which for 100 euros/year you can get all the lawyered up advice you need up to and including court time.

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If you buy somewhere then you suddenly have to invest in tools... TOOLS! "I need a hammer... doh! I need a screwdriver... doh! I need a wrench... doh!" etc, etc. It quickly becomes expensive.

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