Nachimir Posted October 30, 2011 (edited) Something very strange happened last night. I chatted up a cute girl very confidently, and got her number. I never do that, but a few things changed it. I always seem to do okay with women, but have extremely long dry spells where nothing happens. My interests don't exactly help me to meet more women: video games, hackspace, mountain biking, snowboarding, martial arts. I'm pretty much constantly surrounded by other guys. So, even though people say I'm confident and extroverted, I tend to feel shy when it comes to girls. Unpacking it last night: 1. Reading here, I think in the feminism thread, the thing about "Men fear women laughing at them. Women fear being raped by men". That's been rattling around my head ever since and puts my fear in a context that makes it seem ridiculous and self-indulgent. 2. The knowledge that I'd been wanting to chat her up all week while we were both working on the festival, but had made nothing more than brief bits of small talk with her. I wanted to wait because technically I was or could be her manager until the closing party, whereas there I could take my staff badge off and make it clear she was talking to me as an equal. I knew if I didn't take the chance and she disappeared, my self-loathing at lacking courage would far outweigh any disappointment at being knocked back by her. 3. She'd smiled and flicked her hair around me all week, but when I made brief small talk with her she kind of clammed up and I thought "Oh, she dislikes me". It started to click with me during the week that maybe, because I tend to be quite direct and to the point, girls that like me can be a bit intimidated. They misinterpret my directness as me not liking them, and I misinterpret their response to that or shyness as not liking me. It leads to me sometimes finding it difficult to tell the difference between girls that don't like me and girls that do. How I feel about this realisation can only be expressed by my mouth forming a large O shape. 4. Being a bit drunk. During small talk earlier in the week, she'd clammed up a bit and seemed emotionally distant. I assumed she didn't like me, and I'd misinterpreted the positive signs she gave. Only later did it occur to me it might be shyness. At the party, other guys had been trying it on with her all night including one who took her by the hand and led her onto the dance floor. Every time I saw something like that, my heart sank and I thought "Well that's that". At some point I'd been dancing with friends and it was fun, but found myself increasingly distracted by the girl, so marched over and asked if I could have a word. At first she seemed to have typical cute girl defenses in that "Yeah, whatever" way they sometimes respond to an approach, but as soon as I mentioned something she'd said about herself earlier in the week her face lit up and she said "You mean you were actually listening when we spoke before?!", with a big grin and eye contact. It felt easy to be talking to her from there. The young guy who'd been trying to chat her up for the past hour or so, and was still standing there, looked a bit taken aback Edited October 30, 2011 by Nachimir Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pabosher Posted October 30, 2011 where is this forum's like button Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ThunderPeel2001 Posted October 30, 2011 That sounds great, Nach. I think that's got to be the best way to meet someone; Slowly getting to know them over a period. Definitely more natural than having to get to know someone on a loud dancefloor! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrHoatzin Posted October 30, 2011 We all know how Nachimir gets all the ladies : Women love mud. Also TP2K1, I find that alcohol helps lubricate the social interaction mechanisms rather effectively. Take a shot of something bracing, get a little reckless and try to have fun. Your concerns are not helping—every one of those relationships makes for invaluable experience, getting you closer to knowing what you are looking for. You gotta try stuff out, so you know that you like it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ThunderPeel2001 Posted October 30, 2011 Thanks, Kingz. You're right, I need to allow myself to make a few mistakes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nachimir Posted October 30, 2011 We all know how Nachimir gets all the ladies : Where is this forums like button? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nappi Posted October 30, 2011 (It's just a few clicks away) That's a great picture! The lady pushing gloves are a nice touch. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gwardinen Posted October 31, 2011 That's a great picture! The lady pushing gloves are a nice touch. Desperately want that to be a loot drop. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pabosher Posted October 31, 2011 (edited) I love the look of suppressed, surprised joy on Nach's face. Just fantastic. EDIT: I think there's actually a startling resemblance here... Edited October 31, 2011 by SpeedyDesiato Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nachimir Posted October 31, 2011 (edited) I keep my lady pushing strictly legal, thank you. That was the end of HellRunner up North, which had several hundred metres of bog to go through at the end of a ten mile cross country run through wooded hills. The lady falling is my friend Helen, and just before that part I was wondering why a photographer was on the opposite bank, away from everything else. It was because the course builders had put a shin height log in there. Helen still tells everyone I pushed her just to wind me up though. Desperately want that to be a loot drop. :tup: Edited October 31, 2011 by Nachimir Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brkl Posted October 31, 2011 So is the rest of the world happily using iTunes with no complaints? I installed it because I now live together with my girlfriend, who has an iPod. Dealing with that POS software almost killed me. I haven't encountered such a mystifying piece of software in years. It would just start doing stuff I never asked it to do and grind to a total halt. In the end I just had to uninstall it and tell my girlfriend she can only recharge the iPod on my computer (she doesn't have a desktop computer). :frusty: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrHoatzin Posted October 31, 2011 Maybe you expect it to work like fubar2000 or something, which it doesn't. It is a weird beast. I only really have it installed on my Mac computers, and I just let it do its thing, grateful when it behaves. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thompson Posted October 31, 2011 I think I live in some sort of splinter universe where iTunes has worked flawlessly for as long as i've used it and I can't understand what other people complain about. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gwardinen Posted October 31, 2011 Yeah, iTunes is stupid. It doesn't make me break my head open on the wall anymore, we've come to a sort of uneasy ceasefire, but it is definitely stupid. Unfortunately I have an iPhone so I'm sort of beholden to it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elmuerte Posted October 31, 2011 I also don't like iTunes. But I sometimes have to use it because my work phone is an iPhone. It's always the same shit. Every time I need to use it I first need to update it. And after updating I of course need to remove all the crapware services it installs. All that, just to update the iPhone OS. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patters Posted October 31, 2011 Use media monkey instead? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brkl Posted October 31, 2011 Yeah, I was just venting. It just blindsided me, reminded me of computing 10+ years ago. I never expected a music player to exasperate me so. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ThunderPeel2001 Posted October 31, 2011 I despise iTunes (and iPods), but only because of the awful interface. Zune player is where it's at for me Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
toblix Posted October 31, 2011 All you people needing iTunes because of your iPods, pads and phones – have you checked if iCloud can't replace iTunes completely? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brannigan Posted October 31, 2011 I dislike itunes because it has to be installed if you want quicktime! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ThunderPeel2001 Posted October 31, 2011 I dislike itunes because it has to be installed if you want quicktime! That hasn't been true for a while now: http://www.apple.com/quicktime/download/ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miffy495 Posted October 31, 2011 So is the rest of the world happily using iTunes with no complaints? I installed it because I now live together with my girlfriend, who has an iPod. Dealing with that POS software almost killed me. I haven't encountered such a mystifying piece of software in years. It would just start doing stuff I never asked it to do and grind to a total halt. In the end I just had to uninstall it and tell my girlfriend she can only recharge the iPod on my computer (she doesn't have a desktop computer). :frusty: Itunes fucking sucks. I have it on my desktop computer because I have an ipod and something that I own needs to be able to update it. I absolutely refuse to install it on my laptop because I fully believe that a computer that doesn't ask me if I want to install Safari every day is a superior computer. Keep that apple shit away from me. I'm sure specific programs are fine, but I would only ever want those, not every damn thing they make. If it's all or nothing, I choose nothing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brannigan Posted October 31, 2011 That hasn't been true for a while now:http://www.apple.com/quicktime/download/ I clearly am caught up on the times. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thompson Posted November 1, 2011 So everyone says "iTunes Fucking Sucks", but what is actually bad about it? I have literally no idea what about it might be bad. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wubbles Posted November 1, 2011 It often bothers users to install unwanted Apple software and it's a bit cumbersome. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
