mikemariano Posted July 11, 2009 Using Google, I searched IGN.com for quotes that fit the pattern "this game will * you". Most of the quotes aren't so good, but here are some of the standouts. "This game will assault you with mediocrity." - IGN.com -- Monster Jam: Urban Assault (12/31/08) "This game will get you drunk and get you laid." - IGN.com -- Game Party (6/12/07) "This game will let you live out your avian fantasies." - IGN.com -- Puffins: Island Adventure (5/18/09) Puffins! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sombre Posted July 11, 2009 "This game will let you live out your avian fantasies." - IGN.com -- Puffins: Island Adventure (5/18/09) Puffins! Oh god this. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sombre Posted July 11, 2009 "This game is like dying and going to Heaven. Then realising it isn't your time so sending you back to play it again"-IGN.com Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nachimir Posted July 11, 2009 An extraterrestrial FPS that will shatter your perception of reality. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nachimir Posted July 14, 2009 So we're doing a kind of panel after hours at the develop conference tomorrow, involving beer and competing teams taking the piss out of the games industry. If I get my way, there's going to be an IGN.com round using a lot of these quotes (with a nod to the Idle Thumbs forums). If we video it, it's also likely we'll have to take that bit out for legal reasons Also, this picture will be in it at some point: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sombre Posted July 15, 2009 "You could play this game in the fetal position"-IGN.com Episode 8 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elmuerte Posted July 15, 2009 "Like having you junk stuck in your zipper, but the opposite" - ign.com Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wegten Posted July 15, 2009 "Like having you junk stuck in your zipper, but the opposite" - ign.com "Like having your zipper stuck in your junk" - ign.com Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sombre Posted July 15, 2009 "Like having your zipper stuck in your junk" - ign.com "To review this game, think of the Holocaust. Now think of the exact opposite"-IGN.com Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miffy495 Posted July 16, 2009 "To review this game, think of the Holocaust. Now think of the exact opposite"-IGN.com "Like bringing a bunch of people different from you to life" - ign.com Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Murderstorm Posted July 16, 2009 "If you thought this games length was impressive wait until it's girth tears you apart" - IGN.com Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wrestlevania Posted July 16, 2009 "Assume. The. Position." 10/10 -IGN.com Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nachimir Posted July 16, 2009 So, noone understood how the round worked, but it didn't matter because all the quotes had them in stitches. Especially the real one about having your face blown off by maximum awesome. There's video, soon. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fallout Posted July 21, 2009 Just in case you guys didn't see it over at GAF. http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=16758175&postcount=25 http://twitter.com/igndotcom/statuses/2754032038 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
syntheticgerbil Posted July 21, 2009 What is that? Literally? Like a real blowjob? Like a real explosion in my house? Like a tornado is coming soon? What is going on here? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nachimir Posted July 21, 2009 There's no review or preview for that game on IGN ¬¬ What kind of advertiser/developer would aspire so much to have an IGN quote that they'd make one up? Or perhaps they picked IGN because noone would really care or be offended if they got found out? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jake Posted July 21, 2009 "Maybe they just like Idle Thumbs." - IGN.com Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elmuerte Posted July 21, 2009 two can play that game "I actually made up this game" - ign.com Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nachimir Posted July 21, 2009 "Maybe they just like Idle Thumbs." - IGN.com I'd hope that's the reason -- "So damn good I refused to admit to anyone that I had a problem" - IGN.com Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fallout Posted July 22, 2009 I am actually sort of guessing maybe that the "- ign.com" thing is possibly photoshopped? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sombre Posted July 22, 2009 "What other game lets you trick a chimpanzee into throwing feces at itself?"-IGN.com Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nachimir Posted July 22, 2009 It's actually got to the point where we can't make up funny ones faster than they do. I have a text file with a queue made of some of my favorite made up ones that haven't been posted to the twitter account yet, as well as all of the real ones with links. There are more of the latter; it's like IGN have thrown themselves wholeheartedly into it recently Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noyb Posted July 22, 2009 Are they throwing themselves wholeheartedly into IGNDOTCOM quotes because their standards are dropping, or is it something more sinister? Is our mission being perverted? Have we become... viral marketers for IGN? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elmuerte Posted July 22, 2009 We've now got a new weapon: http://it.will.blow.you.away.igndotcom.info (or simply http://igndotcom.info) I'm only missing one of this enormous background banner images Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OssK Posted July 22, 2009 That kind of background ? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites