Salka Posted January 29, 2005 Yeah, I thought that'd draw your attention to the topic. Ha ha, suckers! Well the joke is on me. They really are having sex. Fucking fuckers. I hate this shit so much. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alex Posted January 29, 2005 just try not to think of one of them fellating the other. It'll help Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DanJW Posted January 29, 2005 But which is which Alex? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alex Posted January 29, 2005 A quick google search came up with the obvious answer: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrHoatzin Posted January 29, 2005 Yeah, I thought that'd draw your attention to the topic. Ha ha, suckers!Well the joke is on me. They really are having sex. Fucking fuckers. I hate this shit so much. The hell?! I mean seriously, the hell?! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Salka Posted January 29, 2005 I fucking... what the fuck? I hate everything! I am unbelievably upset. This is like when you get a dog, and you keep patting it on the head and then slapping it on the nose. What the fuck am I supposed to think? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Erwin_Br Posted January 29, 2005 You're not supposed to think. ...I think. --Erwin Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alex Posted January 29, 2005 Don't worry, they're probably not having sex. They're probably watching porn too loudly, that's all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ryam BaCo Posted January 29, 2005 why are you upset when your parents are having sex? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Salka Posted January 29, 2005 why are you upset when your parents are having sex Because they've been separated for five years and hated each other for ten, and at one point we all moved away with my Mom for two years, and then we only came back to sell this house, and now they're having sex, and I'm just like... are we ever going to sell this house? Or are we all just going to sit around having sex? Hey MOM, I'm going to have sex with that GUY you HATE that I don't even KNOW HIS NAME. HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL? Oh man, by the way, here's another reason I hate my Dad: my Dad recently rebuilt the fireplace downstairs. With wood. And now the house is on fire. I'm not even joking, it's burning right as I'm typing this. It's not even funny. I just took a break from throwing water on to it to come up here and type this, because there just so happened to be a pot of boiling water on the Range, so I threw that, and most of it ended up on my wrists. And then what DID go on the fire simply exploded into a cloud of ash and steam which burned our lungs and our faces. Now I can't even call the Fire Brigade because they'll be like, "What happened to your face and wrists?" and I'll have to be like, "Uh, I got excited and confused, and threw boiling water over myself." Like, seriously, who builds a fireplace out of wood? The same person that has sex with my Mom, maybe? I'm gonna go throw some more water on this fire, desperately, in the vague hope of saving my bedroom. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ryam BaCo Posted January 29, 2005 Because they've been separated for five years and hated each other for ten, and at one point we all moved away with my Mom for two years, and then we only came back to sell this house, and now they're having sex, and I'm just like... are we ever going to sell this house? Or are we all just going to sit around having sex? Hey MOM, I'm going to have sex with that GUY you HATE that I don't even KNOW HIS NAME. HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL? whoops...sorry...didn't know that. but i know people who maybe hate their father more than you. people...like...me... (okay - that's probably a small comfort for you) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alex Posted January 29, 2005 It's just sex, sex doesn't have to mean anything. I'd be much more concerned about the fire, myself... and anyone who builds a fireplace out of wood ¬ ¬ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrHoatzin Posted January 30, 2005 Shit, darling... You gotta beat some sense into that mother of yours... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nick Posted January 30, 2005 Relax, it's seems pretty obvious that they're not having sex. They're just fucking. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spaff Posted January 30, 2005 this thread is awarded points of some kind. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Salka Posted January 30, 2005 Alright, so I actually put out the fire last night, and then I came upstairs again to chill out and it started up again after about an hour, at which point I got really exasperated, but continued to battle against the raging flames nonetheless. Oscar strolled over and stood with his hands in his pockets. "I need to piss," he said. "What does that have to do with anything?" I asked furiously. "Do you want to me to piss on the fire?" It reminds me of this time, last year, when a hot coal fell out of the fire in our other living room, and he panicked, leapt up, unzipped himself and started hopping from foot to foot over the coal, trying to pee on it. Ow wow, I'm actually not joking. Dad got home and complained about how wet the floor was, and my Mom- oh, yeah! I forgot she bought coca cola! Hang on. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. Shit, darling... You gotta beat some sense into that mother of yours... She makes me think somebody already did Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DanJW Posted January 30, 2005 Yufster, I don't know whether to laugh, give you moral support, or call Social Services. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
General Fuzzy McBitty Posted January 30, 2005 That is some fucked up shit. You know, half the time when I read your posts, I wonder if you're just testing material for a book... In any event... one morning over breakfast you should just say something like "I didn't sleep a wink last night, the I think we need to call the neighbors about how loud the porn they watch is." They'll know you know, but it'll be less awkward and maybe they'll stop fucking until you aren't around. Or if you want to be blunt and awkward you could just say something like: "Why can't you two meet new, interesting people and have sex with them." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
General Fuzzy McBitty Posted January 30, 2005 That is some fucked up shit.You know, half the time when I read your posts, I wonder if you're just testing material for a book... In any event... one morning over breakfast you should just say something like "I didn't sleep a wink last night, the I think we need to call the neighbors about how loud the porn they watch is." They'll know you know, but it'll be less awkward and maybe they'll stop fucking until you aren't around. Or if you want to be blunt and awkward you could just say something like: "Why can't you two meet new, interesting people and have sex with them." Also... I don't think a wooden fireplace is a good selling point for the house. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrHoatzin Posted January 30, 2005 Also... I don't think a wooden fireplace is a good selling point for the house.If they can make battleships out of concrete, why not wooden fireplaces? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marek Posted January 30, 2005 They can make battleships out of concrete? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Erkki Posted January 31, 2005 Antediluvian. I just wanted to use that word, lest I forget it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
General Fuzzy McBitty Posted January 31, 2005 If they can make battleships out of concrete, why not wooden fireplaces? Imagine having a nice romantic dinner by the fireplace with your significant other, only to have the house burn up around you as you near second base. Definately not good. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
