Things That Improve Your Life

[SecretAsianMan]

I'm not creeped out per say, I just genuinely have no idea how to respond.  Ok, maybe I'm a little creeped out, but in a highly complemenatry way.

[Zeusthecat]

Sweet, you made me feel a little less self conscious. Still somewhat self conscious. I have a bad tendency to be super outgoing and just say whatever pops into my head before I can stop myself. Then I walk away thinking about what I said and curl up into a ball in the corner of my room rocking back and forth and thinking "God I'm so weird, why do I say such weird things, everyone hates me and just pretends that they like me when I'm around." Then I go say more weird shit, the cycle repeats, I say "Fuck it", and I go play some video games. So yeah, video games improve my life.

 

Oh yeah, and Gormongous is my other secret bff so now he can be creeped out.

[osmosisch]

What you going to do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk?

Well, I was intending to intoxicate you.

[dibs]

What are you filing this story under? Remember, pee boner is a red herring!

[Zeusthecat]

Shhhh! I was strategically using that fallacy to distract everyone from how awkward I am. Hey, I think I see a man made of straw in another thread using hyperbole and citing so-called experts to validate his points. You should go check it out.

 

And it is relevant to this thread. Boners in the morning improve your life, it's a fact. A healthy man should have wood every morning and accidentally pee all over their walls.

[syntheticgerbil]

Which thread is this again?

[Sententia]

To be honest I've never had morning wood, or wet dreams.  I learned about them in some sex ed class in high school though, apparently most guys get em.  That was also the class with the teacher who told us all never to do anything anal though, so boo on that.  That's something related to the thread: anal will improve your life.  Any gender, any time.  Do it.

[Zeusthecat]

To be honest I've never had morning wood, or wet dreams.  I learned about them in some sex ed class in high school though, apparently most guys get em.  That was also the class with the teacher who told us all never to do anything anal though, so boo on that.  That's something related to the thread: anal will improve your life.  Any gender, any time.  Do it.

 

I liked this post, it made me laugh. But I worry that you are encouraging me to continue with my immature dick, poop, and asshole humor. Everyone on these forums seems so damn intelligent and mature and for the most part I just assume everyone rolls their eyes in disgust as they read this shit that I spew out of my asshole. But I can't help it so I try to weave in some random intelligent sounding philosophical shit so I can justify continuing to talk about my junk.

 

You know what else improves your life?

Having a wet dream as a grown adult, waking up right as the dream is wrapping up, and trying to covertly sneak to the closet to get fresh jammies without waking your wife/partner up. Then, when they do wake up and ask what you're doing, claim you're sleepwalking.

 

It improves your life because it trains you to get really good at lying when you're in a sticky situation. (Get it? Sticky situation!! Ha!)

[Patrick R]

The problem with the forums is you can't cut someone off with a "Videooo gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaameeeesssss".

[Sententia]

Oh don't worry, I'm sure some people are annoyed when we roll around in the mud and fling poo at one another, but it's just some good old fashioned armpit-fart humor.  Idle Banter is for Idly Bantering in whatever manner you choose, it'd probably be less cool if the entirety of the forum became oops all dick jokes though.

 

If you guys haven't already done, grab f.lux.  It majorly reduces eyestrain, just set it to 3400k always and you can computer all the time with no headache or sore eyes.  It gives your screen an orange tint, but it just takes like 5 minutes for that to feel normal.  I remember it getting mentioned earlier in the thread as some sort of sleep assist, but the main usefulness is to remove dat slight eye pain.

[Zeusthecat]

I've started putting my potty humor between spoiler tags so hopefully I won't be aggravating people as much, and I'll pretty much keep it to the Random Thought thread although it spilled over into this one for a couple posts, oops, my bad.

 

Somewhat related to eye strain, for my first couple years out of college I did street lighting and outside power design for the company I work for. I learned some fascinating things about various sources of light and how the rods and cones in our eyes interpret light. A big takeaway for me was understanding that seeing really bright white light like the fluorescent lights in my office is perceived by my brain similar to how white noise is perceived by my ears. It is generally unpleasant and can actually cause headaches for some people. It is amazing how big of a difference it can make using soft white light or "cleaner" light that allows you to make a sharper distinction between colors(3500k color temperature and lower is generally pretty pleasant if you decide to go with LED bulbs, higher color temperatures can get a little harsh and have a blue tinge that looks kind of weird) in your house. Soft white CFLs are okay but I still consider them to be kind of shitty.

 

The most favorable light to me is produced by halogen light bulbs and some of the new lower color temperature LEDs. I recommend experimenting with the lighting in a single closed room and observing how it makes you feel. I have been amazed at how much something as simple as the lighting in a room can have an impact on my mood and concentration. You might also notice you like being in certain stores more than others and oftentimes it comes down to the type of lighting they are using.

[SecretAsianMan]

I recently got a new pair of shoes and I've decided to tie/untie them each time I put them on/take them off.  I kept my last pair tied all the time and just shoved my feet into them, which wore them out.  I'm glad I took the time to learn this knot

 

[Ucantalas]

I somehow manage to keep my shoes for a long time. I think its mostly because I keep wearing them until they literally fall apart as I walk.

I had one pair that lasted me from Grade 11 until about a week before I graduated from college. They were a $20 pair of sneakers from WalMart. One of the best pairs of shoes I ever bought.

[Erkki]

I recently got a new pair of shoes and I've decided to tie/untie them each time I put them on/take them off.  I kept my last pair tied all the time and just shoved my feet into them, which wore them out.  I'm glad I took the time to learn this knot

 

Awesome!