MrHoatzin Posted December 15, 2004 I tried to watch it, I really did. I couldn't see the whole thing. I ran out of the room cursing in two languages, as if I have just seen a godawful soccer match where my team was butchered. As far as I have seen, the show was by and for pop personalities of no character who play mostly racing games, Halo and GTA and have a hard time reading (the teleprompter). Kartakmary Damacscy made a surprise appearance but that is where it all ended. There were no designers in attendance. I was half-hoping to see John Romero in the front row... It was like one of my worst nightmares. The opening sequence with the highly-choreographed gang brawl to the sound of two nigga's in white rapping something badly mixed would've been charmingly surreal if only it were a satire of an award show for games. It was like the whole shebang was conceived by people whose only contact with games were sixteenth-hand stories filtered twice through Joe Lieberman. The caravan is as fast as its slowest camel; gods help us all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ThePope Posted December 15, 2004 I did not watch it cause i could have told you that was going to happen. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chris Posted December 15, 2004 Strangely, I managed to see a commercial for this and that was horrifying enough that it would never have occurred to me to actually try to watch the program itself. I mean, seriously, these things only serve to make me more cynical and angry, 100% of the time. I guess I commend you for trying. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jaero Posted December 15, 2004 A great rift has opened in the middle of my forehead, and into it has been rammed a giant throbbing cock named "Spike", riddled also with warts. I have been skullfucked by the Video Game Awards, and what ensued was the shagged-rotten grey matter leaking out of my fucking head. The only delight came when something spurred a thought (other than the meat injection) that was an image of Ernest W. Adams coming out from backstage with his cute little hat, and murdering every single one of those no-talent hacks while saying "Bad Game Designer! NO TWINKIE!" Honestly, I didn't watch much of this. I caught a few moments during the commercials of something actually worth watching, The Legend of Earthsea on the Sci-Fi channel. I don't watch TV at all, save for a little Comedy Central and Adult Swim, so the fact that I caught wind of Earthsea was pure luck - though as I might have led you to believe before, the fact that this justly dubbed 'unadulterated bullshit' penetrated my few joyous hours of TV watching has left me feeling utterly violated. I did have plans to whack off later this evening, but those plans have been raped, and all that is left is this raw spongey frame of a man. God damn you, Spike TV. God damn you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chris Posted December 15, 2004 The only delight came when something spurred a thought (other than the meat injection) that was an image of Ernest W. Adams coming out from backstage with his cute little hat, and murdering every single one of those no-talent hacks while saying "Bad Game Designer! NO TWINKIE!" Damnit, when I quickly scanned your post, I read this bit as actually having happened. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jaero Posted December 15, 2004 That totally needs to be the next quote of the moment. Or... I really was let down that there was no "Best Game Company" category, and even more that "EA Games" didn't take that award. That would have made it more poetic than the next 'Idle Words' artwork featuring Marek in a g-string and ThunderPeel licking the arch of his foot. Well, I don't know if that's poetic... It would be damn funny though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
manny_c44 Posted December 15, 2004 Woah dude, you can't campaign for your own quote man. Anyway, I find it really bizarre how the Xbox has penetrated the rapper-circle, probably some twisted marketing scheme forged in the bowels of California . I wish these awards just had mild mannered over worked Japanese guys giving keynotes or something,, I would watch then....if I had cable. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jaero Posted December 15, 2004 Yes I know, Manny. My absolutely legitimate excuse is that I've been skullfucked by the 2004 Video Game Awards. So, like... mmm... EAT THIS! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ju2 Iz^ Posted December 15, 2004 I kindof liked the show alot. I saw jus the later part of it. it was totaly indie whn u lookat all the other award shows out ther. Raw, guys, raw, totall rawness. We should support this in hope they come up with smthg better soon, u know? maybe not next year, or the one afdter that, but soon. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Duncan Posted December 15, 2004 I kindof liked the show alot. I saw jus the later part of it. it was totaly indie whn u lookat all the other award shows out ther. Raw, guys, raw, totall rawness. Man, you took the words right out of my mouth. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chris Posted December 15, 2004 I kindof liked the show alot. I saw jus the later part of it. it was totaly indie whn u lookat all the other award shows out ther. Raw, guys, raw, totall rawness. We should support this in hope they come up with smthg better soon, u know? maybe not next year, or the one afdter that, but soon. "Indie" is absolutely the best possible adjective I could ever hope to consider using in order to describe the SpikeTV game awards. Clearly. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chris Posted December 15, 2004 Doppelganger? I guess you're bound to be right eventually... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ninja Dodo Posted December 15, 2004 I saw a similar program on Dutch tv once. It was desperate. It almost makes you wonder whether games going mainstream is actually a good thing... Playstation:pan: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrChlorophyll Posted December 15, 2004 I just can't believe a program whose commercial solely involved Snoop Dogg making subtle and witty comments about characters fighting in DOA could possibly have been bad. Flabergasting. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrHoatzin Posted December 15, 2004 Doppelganger? Man, when you get burned once, everybody's a potential danger. Thank god you don't work here. Otherwise there would be some sort of McCarthyesque purge in which many innocents would be blacklisted... That said, I agree. A total doppelganger. We found a witch, may we burn her? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ju2 Iz^ Posted December 15, 2004 I was just being uptimistic. Maybe too much. No need to burn none. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jaero Posted December 15, 2004 Given the grammar and the 'uptimism', if a McCarthyesque purge or witch burning doesn't happen soon, I'm going to have to take matters into my own hands nyah. Happy 100th post you fucking forum-whore. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ju2 Iz^ Posted December 15, 2004 What if I promise too really, really try chief? See, that wasn't to hard now was it? I even ran it through a spell check program called Microsoft Word. Good program that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baconian Posted December 15, 2004 CROWD: Burn her! Burn! Burn her! Burn her! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RLacey Posted December 15, 2004 What if I promise too really, really try chief? See, that wasn't to hard now was it? I even ran it through a spell check program called Microsoft Word. Good program that. "too"? TOO??? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Redwall Posted December 15, 2004 The world would be far better off if Spike TV - the entire channel - did not exist. This travesty of the games industry is only a microcosm for Spike's travesty of television. Unfortunately, there are many television channels and few if any other games award shows... EDIT: Woah, : ( is ? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chris Posted December 15, 2004 EDIT: Woah, : ( is ? It's the best fake-out of all time. Hurrah Idle Thumbs! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thrik Posted December 16, 2004 -Best Song in a Game - American Idiot - Greenday-Best Soundtrack - Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas LOL! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrHoatzin Posted December 16, 2004 LOL! I love that avatar. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
