Most disgusting thing you've ever done

[brkl]

The other day I almost ate a tiny tiny ant that had crawled into my bag of candy, but I noticed it so I removed it from my mouth. It tasted salty.

[Armchair General]

I'm sure you've got some tales!

I think he is one big giant disgusting thing....

P.S Where you been in BC2 Brikkle, Burkle, Bruckikiklkl, BURK.

[ThunderPeel2001]

Sounds to me like a case of explosive amnesia.

It was super weird. I don't live any kind of crazy rock n roll lifestyle. Waking up in a pool of my own vomit is as foreign to me as it is to the next person. It was 15 years ago and I've never had anything similar to that experience since, either.

The best theory I can come up with is that my body didn't metabolize the alcohol until I started power-walking home - then it all just hit me all at once. It was probably on an empty stomach, too. Love to hear a proper explanation from a qualified professional, though, simply because it was such an unusual experience.

A lesson learned for everyone: Don't have shots of alcohol on an empty stomach and then go jogging/power-walking. (Many of you may already consider this a bad idea without being told.)

[brkl]

I think he is one big giant disgusting thing....

P.S Where you been in BC2 Brikkle, Burkle, Bruckikiklkl, BURK.

I don't have it installed :/ Too frustrating. I've been playing single player games. I'll try it again if I find the money for a new computer ever.

[Thompson]

if I find the money for a new computer ever.

I can play BC2 on mine... just.

[tm_drummer]

This isn't necessarily anything disgusting I have done, per se, but it is pretty disgusting and it happened to me and has to this day left me a little broken.

So ok, this happened in Belgrade, smack in the middle of the embargo twelveish years ago. I was in fifth or seventh grade, or somewhere in between. The country was under sanctions and the economy was shot and no one had any money, and no one bought anything—which was easy to do because stores didn't sell anything. Shelves everywhere were empty. People queued up for bread and watered down milk on a daily basis, if the supplies were any kind of steady at all. A banana cost as much as a month's pension, and the pensions were slipping to the point where they were months late and the government was forced to justify time and again why this was so on their own, national, propaganda TV. Those who earned any kind of money had to change it into Deutsche Marks before the end of the day because the inflation was so astronomical that the Dinar would not be worth anything the following day.

Now, this long-winded introduction sets the scene not only for the disgusting bit (which on its own is disgusting enough), but also for the vignette of misery that went along with it.

For all their shopping needs and any kinds of small manufactured things, people turned to the flea markets. The flea markets seldom sold what one would expect flea markets to sell. Instead they sold "grey market goods"—new, cheap, usually Chinese-produced small appliances and clothing and pirated CDs that were smuggled into the country god knows how.

This one time, I bought a pair of shoes. Generally I am a picky shoe shopper and I really thought I'd like these. They were skater-type shoes, cardboardy in color, and the material felt like cardboard too. It was some sort of synthetic pressed fiber, like something between paper and felt and tyvek (though not nearly as resilient as tyvek). They had the same color rubber bottom and a Prussian blue stripe between, going all around the sole. The first day I wore them to school I somehow spilled permanent turquoise ink all over them, and wondered why it is I couldn't have nice things.

I broke the shoes in completely in a couple of days. In a few weeks the sole had collapsed and somehow flattened out. The lattice that gave the sole its thickness was actually not sturdy enough to support anything and it folded onto itself. The insole unglued from the rest of the shoe and would pull out when I would take the shoes off. The cardboardy top was starting to fray and get a little fuzzy in places. Buying new shoes so soon after I got these was really not an option, what with the destituteness. So I was stuck with these.

And then the shoes acquired tenants. It was the kind of roach-like bug that in Serbia we called "buba-Rus", which means "Russian bug" (the standard cockroach we call "bubašvaba" which basically means "German bug" or more colloquially translated, "Kraut bug"). The Russian bugs are smaller than roaches and yellowish. At first I thought that the shoes were attracting the bugs. We left our shoes in an armoire in the bathroom and occasionally there were roaches in the vicinity, so I wasn't absolutely sure. But then I started noticing them around my feet at school. I stoically soldiered on, mortified of any social stigma that may befall me were this new trait of my shoes to be noticed by my peers. I would warily inspect the shoes every day before putting them on. For a while there I thought I was mostly free and probably imagining the whole connection between the shoes and the roaches.

And then one morning, all the fuckers finally hatched from within or whatever the fuck and pored out of the shoe as if they were shoveled out. So then I was all, what the fuckking fuck this aarragh! I'd rather wear outgrown winter boots to school, fuck me this shit is disgusting!

To this day I shake shoes out before I put them on.

first let me say - pozdrav, ex susjed! vidim da nas ima još ovdje, već sam mislio da sam jedini (ok, osim Sleepdance-a iz Slovenije)

second - that....is disgusting....i hate bugs...almost more than anything...and find them extremely gross.

btw, nisam nikad čuo za izraz baba-rus...znam samo za bubašvabe...

[brkl]

That looks like something out of an H.P. Lovecraft story

[DanJW]

The best theory I can come up with is that my body didn't metabolize the alcohol until I started power-walking home - then it all just hit me all at once. It was probably on an empty stomach, too. Love to hear a proper explanation from a qualified professional, though, simply because it was such an unusual experience.

)

I'm not a qualified professional, but you might have been borderline dehydrated before you started drinking. With the power-walking dehydrating you even more, your gut would suck up all the moisture it could - including a heavily concentrated burst of alcohol. Low blood sugar from having skipped a meal would exacerbate this, as you said. If you were in the early stages of a cold or flu that you hadn't noticed yet, this would also make it worse.

[brkl]

Maybe you found a way to get hammered and had such success you forgot all about it

[Armchair General]

It was super weird. I don't live any kind of crazy rock n roll lifestyle. Waking up in a pool of my own vomit is as foreign to me as it is to the next person. It was 15 years ago and I've never had anything similar to that experience since, either.

The best theory I can come up with is that my body didn't metabolize the alcohol until I started power-walking home - then it all just hit me all at once. It was probably on an empty stomach, too. Love to hear a proper explanation from a qualified professional, though, simply because it was such an unusual experience.

A lesson learned for everyone: Don't have shots of alcohol on an empty stomach and then go jogging/power-walking. (Many of you may already consider this a bad idea without being told.)

I'm not a qualified professional, but you might have been borderline dehydrated before you started drinking. With the power-walking dehydrating you even more, your gut would suck up all the moisture it could - including a heavily concentrated burst of alcohol. Low blood sugar from having skipped a meal would exacerbate this, as you said. If you were in the early stages of a cold or flu that you hadn't noticed yet, this would also make it worse.

Dan is on the right track except for the burst of alcohol bit. The absorption of water would happen in parallel with alcohol not in tandem.

Alcohol is metabolised at a steady rate with the mechanism being easily saturated; hence drunkeness ensues after a couple of drinks or so. What probably happened is that you consumed a level of drunkeness over a relatively short period. Initially, your body could metabolise the alcohol that you were absorbing but was falling behind all the time. Alongside this, you would have felt pretty much ok until such point that you reached the point of 'feeling' drunk.

Because you were now intoxicated, yet not absolutely smashed, but still had lots more alcohol in your belly to absorb and poison your cerebellum (the brain bit that controls coordination) and cerebral hemipsheres (your memory comes in here) the level of drunkeness would be shooting up per unit of time.

Thus, when you went out to walk home, your pissed level is increasing all the time and became too much for your body to handle and you effectively became too intoxicated to function. Your body would be metabolising the alcohol as fast as it could, so after a while of being shot to fuck, your alcohol level would drop and you would recover enough to function, albeit not at 100%.

In short, your drunkeness would have been creeping up on you all the time, but manifested itself in a seemingly fast fashion. Your full recovery the next day would no doubt be due to your youthful constitution at the time. I'm sure everyone has heard old codgers say that hangovers are much worse when you are older. This is because their bodies are less able to deal with the effects of the alcoholic insult than a younger body.

All the other things Dan said can affect your sensitivity to alcohol and may have been in play too. My top tip for when you are pissed? Make up a pint of water, add a pinch of salt and a small handful of sugar. The sugar and salt molecules combine together and are absorbed by the gut. Their absorption draws water into the gut via osmosis. This is the basis of oral rehydration therapy.

I hope this explains your symptoms a little. If you have any further questions, I am always willing to answer them!

[monkeyarmada]

...Your full recovery the next day would no doubt be due to your youthful constitution at the time. I'm sure everyone has heard old codgers say that hangovers are much worse when you are older. This is because their bodies are less able to deal with the effects of the alcoholic insult than a younger body...

+1 This old codger can't take the aftermath any more... The last time I drank till I fell down was over ten years ago, I got home somehow, it's a three mile walk, covered in cuts and bruises and the knees ripped out of my jeans.

Presumably that would have been a night to remember if I only could.

[Patters]

+1 This old codger can't take the aftermath any more... The last time I drank till I fell down was over ten years ago, I got home somehow, it's a three mile walk, covered in cuts and bruises and the knees ripped out of my jeans.

Presumably that would have been a night to remember if I only could.

OOOHHH drunk getting home stories.

About 2 years ago at a friends 18th, after a lot of Whisky and Jager, I decided it was a good idea to walk the 5 miles home. Not only that but along a river, which has claimed a lot of lives. Of course I ended up in it, I don't remember falling in or getting out I just remember swimming. Though after getting out I headed towards the road, which of course at that time of year becomes marsh like. Marshes at night when drunk without a light are a bad idea, I lost my shoe after tripping. So at this point I was not only soaking wet I was covered in mud. I must have spent an hour trying to find my shoe. I finally managed to drag myself to the road, then finished getting home looking like swamp-thing.

The worst part is that I could have stayed at my dad's which was less than a mile away from where my friend's party.

[Armchair General]

OOOHHH drunk getting home stories.

About 2 years ago at a friends 18th, after a lot of Whisky and Jager, I decided it was a good idea to walk the 5 miles home. Not only that but along a river, which has claimed a lot of lives. Of course I ended up in it, I don't remember falling in or getting out I just remember swimming. Though after getting out I headed towards the road, which of course at that time of year becomes marsh like. Marshes at night when drunk without a light are a bad idea, I lost my shoe after tripping. So at this point I was not only soaking wet I was covered in mud. I must have spent an hour trying to find my shoe. I finally managed to drag myself to the road, then finished getting home looking like swamp-thing.

The worst part is that I could have stayed at my dad's which was less than a mile away from where my friend's party.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!:tup:

[Thompson]

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!:tup:

You're the worst!

OK so maybe it is funny.

[ThunderPeel2001]

I hope this explains your symptoms a little. If you have any further questions, I am always willing to answer them!

I didn't understand anything you said. Sorry :-/ ("you consumed a level of drunkeness over a relatively short period"??) You seem to just be describe the normal physical process of getting drunk (is that right?).

All I can say is that I don't recall anything from the journey home, I just remember waking up being as confused as anyone could be. I remember being sober, then I'm somewhere else completely wasted. Can you explain that?

[brkl]

Alien abduction.

[ThunderPeel2001]

Alien abduction.

Those guys do know how to party!

[ysbreker]

You could also have been slipped a mickey.

[Patters]

You're the worst!

OK so maybe it is funny.

It's funny with me being alive still.

[Armchair General]

I didn't understand anything you said. Sorry :-/ ("you consumed a level of drunkeness over a relatively short period"??) You seem to just be describe the normal physical process of getting drunk (is that right?).

All I can say is that I don't recall anything from the journey home, I just remember waking up being as confused as anyone could be. I remember being sober, then I'm somewhere else completely wasted. Can you explain that?

See my graph that I had constructed by the finest graphic designers I could afford...i.e me with Paint. It looks complicated but is actually quite simple...

Hopefully all will have become clear(er)

[James]

I think the point is that this was a unique experience for ThunderPeel, who presumably has imbibed similar quantities of alcohol before and since, and he wants to know why the onset was so sudden and unexpected. Presumably the effects were exacerbated by the aforementioned factors (lack of food, etc.) to a degree sufficient to tip things over into black-out-and-sick territory.

[Armchair General]

I think the point is that this was a unique experience for ThunderPeel, who presumably has imbibed similar quantities of alcohol before and since, and he wants to know why the onset was so sudden and unexpected. Presumably the effects were exacerbated by the aforementioned factors (lack of food, etc.) to a degree sufficient to tip things over into black-out-and-sick territory.

I thought that had been explained, just that it was still unclear? Either way, it's probably enough now

[tm_drummer]

Either way, it's probably enough now

good god, no! at least 15 times more would be about enough

[DanJW]

I have an alcohol uptake query. Or a story at least.

Once, on holiday in Greece, I got fairly drunk on Ouzo (and some other stuff as well probably, but mostly ouzo).

The girl whose family had put me up was also very drunk, and tried to go swimming. It was a bit of a beach party you see. Anyway we dragged her out of the surf, figuring it wasn't safe.

So I had wet feet. So I took my shoes off

After a bit of a walk home she gave me a bottle of water to drink. Now one of the things they say about ouzo is that drinking water on top of it will get you more drunk. This turned out to be true (is it Armchair? How?)

I quickly went from being on the way to sobering up to swaying all over the place. I decided I needed to walk it off so started doing laps of the villa grounds. Apparently everyone inside could hear my drunken plodding.

Eventually my stumbling coincided with a flagstone and I ripped my toe nail out. It would probably have been very painful if it wasn't for the ouzo. Lucky eh? I threw up a bit and was found on the ground under the olive trees, clutching my bleeding foot.

It was a good holiday. My toenail grew back, but it's always been a bit wonky since.

[syntheticgerbil]

So was your toenail pushed up and broken off then?

I've never lost a full nail but it always looks horrifyingly painful when someone has sort of a bloody orifice where a nail used to be. I feel disgusting even when I cut my finger nails after I haven't for a week or two.