Spam spam tomato and spam

[Erkki]

Post the funniest subjects of spam e-mail you've received.

I get close to 100 fantastic spam letters a day (thankfully all on an account I've almost stopped using) and occasionally glimpse at the subjects.

"You Can Be a Cop!"

"help is on the way Samuel"

"save yourself Hilda"

"empty"

"Help Protect Our Country!"

"we cover all the medications you need coffin"

"We've found a school for you!"

"I Promised to help 5000 people"

"These girls love Peeing..."

BTW. What's this crap they've started putting to the end of the messages? To fool spam filters?

telepathic at cremate oreven transferable as in binary.

Myles was at algiers when that happened cellar.

We met at declarative and went to care wher we had lunch at

twist.It was impede and a hesitate was had windbreak by all.

[Ryam BaCo]

· Регистрация ООО, ЗАО, ОАО, иностранные инвестиции, ГУП, некоммерческие организации, в том числе с НОМИНАЛЬНЫМИ учредителем и директором. · Общественные объединения (фонды, религиозные, благотворительные) · Ликвидация (в том числе с долгами); · Готовые компании. · Внесение изменений в учредительные документы; · Реорганизация бизнеса; · Лицензии: строительные, туристические, транспортные, игорные, образовательные; · Юридическое обслуживание организаций. · Возврат НДС экспортерам; · Сдача дел на государственную регистрацию в МИМНС № 46 по г. Москва;

pretty cool, huh?

[Metalmickey]

I remember being very amused at the first spam that invited me to "enlarge your breasts" via some sort of rub-on cream or something. I mean, if they marketed it to everybody, then presumably it was not gender-specific. I wondered if any men had actually responded and if it worked. Then I probably had some confusing thoughts and deleted the email

The sneakiest subjects have to be those along the lines of "Sorry about the other day" or "I haven't seen you in a while". Bastards, they used to get me to open them for a while. Yeah, I'm sure the gibberish at the bottom is to fool spam filters by using non-spam terms and phrases, whilst simultaneously hitting you with the 'v1agra' schpiel at the top.

Another thing I hate is the way many of them seem to assume you live in the USA. All those damn 'make money from home' emails that only apply to Americans. I've never received a piece of unsolicited spam that assumed I lived in England... or even Europe!

[Erkki]

Well, most of the spammers just seem to be happy that they've obtained some e-mail addresses, not caring who's behind them if enough people of the target group receive them anyway.

[Erkki]

· Регистрация ООО, ЗАО, ОАО, иностранные инвестиции, ГУП, некоммерческие организации, в том числе с НОМИНАЛЬНЫМИ учредителем и директором. · Общественные объединения (фонды, религиозные, благотворительные) · Ликвидация (в том числе с долгами); · Готовые компании. · Внесение изменений в учредительные документы; · Реорганизация бизнеса; · Лицензии: строительные, туристические, транспортные, игорные, образовательные; · Юридическое обслуживание организаций. · Возврат НДС экспортерам; · Сдача дел на государственную регистрацию в МИМНС № 46 по г. Москва;

pretty cool, huh?

umm.. can't make out much. international investments? GNP? noncommerce organisations, nominal ummm.... teachers and directors? liquidation, reorganising business, licenses: construction, tourism, transport, gaming, baaaaah

[Wormsie]

Another thing I hate is the way many of them seem to assume you live in the USA. All those damn 'make money from home' emails that only apply to Americans. I've never received a piece of unsolicited spam that assumed I lived in England... or even Europe!

Yeah, I think it's because spamming is illegal in Europe or... something.

[DanJW]

The funniest spam I got was advertising anti-spam software.

[Bc9b]

I wonder just how much they have sold from spam? Is it worth the expense?

Wait...

Damn free advertising, making annoying us worth it. It’s a free Internet sadly, and anyone can do what they please.

Little tip: If you want to not have any damn spy bots get your email adress it is best to not have your email adress on any web pages. I don't have mine on any web pages and I get very little.

[Ryam BaCo]

wait a minute...

the #1 spam-adress of a friend and me: a1_one_gewinnspiele@gmx.net (and my msn handle )

the 107 above are being recognized as non-spam, but in fact they are spam.

about the rest...hmmm...not that bad for an account which spam-mails get automaticaly deleted every 30 days...

...oh...and my friend redirected all the stuff from this account to the email-adress of another "friend". he's pretty evillllll...

[Tanukitsune]

I don't get spammed at all lately...

BUT, I did get a chain mail letter... In a UCQ message...

[Ryam BaCo]

because of my excellent spam-filters i rarely get spam and if i do i only get excellent spam like this one:

Dear Friend,

Please excuse me for any inconvience caused by this message.

My name is Valentin. I'm a student and I live with my mother in the city of Kaluga, Russia, that is 200km south from Moscow. My mother is invalid. She cannot see and she receives pension from the government very rare which is not enough even for medications.

I work very hard to be able to buy the necessary medications for my mother, but my salary is very small, because my studies still not finished.

Due to the crisis our authorities stoped gas in our district and now we cannot heat our home. I don't know what to do, because the winter is coming and the temperature in the street can be lower than minus 30 degrees Celsius. I'm very afraid that the temperature inside our home can be very cold and we will not be able to survive.

Thanks to the internet access at our library I was able to find several e-mail addresses and I decided to appeal to you with a prayer in my heart for a small help.

If you have any old electric heater, warm clothes, electric water-boiler, high-calories canned food, vitamins, medicines from cold weather, any hygiene-products, I will be very grateful to you if you could send it to our postal address which is:

Valentin Mihaylin,

Ryleeva Ulitsa, 6-45.

Kaluga. 248030,

Russia.

If you think that it would be better or easier for you to help with some money, please write me back and I will give you details for sending it safely if you agree. This way to help is very good because in this case I will be able to buy a portable stove and heat our home during the winter.

I hope to hear from you very soon and I pray that you will be able to help us to survive this winter. I also hope very much that this hard situation will get better very soon in our country.

I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 2005. I'm sending to you many thanks in advance for your kind understanding. Please excuse me, once more, for any inconvience I could cause you by sending this message.

God Bless You,

Valentin and my mother Elena.

Kaluga. Russia.

[loonyboi]

On a similar note, I find this webcomic to be hysterical:

http://spamusement.com/

"Poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines!"

[Metalmickey]

That Russian one is indeed an excellent piece of spam. I always like the ones that give you a name and an address that you could presumably find via some directory services or free online map. Makes me wonder what's actually there... as long as it's not the poor and frozen corpses of Valentin and Elena

[Ryam BaCo]

On a similar note, I find this webcomic to be hysterical:

http://spamusement.com/

"Poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines!"

[Salka]

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[Chris]

I wonder just how much they have sold from spam? Is it worth the expense?

Apparently it's something like one response in 10,000 spam emails keeps it profitable. So even if 99.99% of people ignore spam, that ONE FUCKING GUY ruins it for the rest of us.

I read an article in Time or Newsweek or something about people who compulsively buy things that are advertised in spam mails. They talked to these people and it blew my mind. "I couldn't resist! It was such a good deal!" and the guy's wife is like "Well, he spends a lot of money, but it's harmless..." FUCK YOU IT'S NOT HARMLESS ARHAGHGH

[Dingo Chavez]

Zozo the Flying Monkey needs a new elephant for a stunt in his circus act, any contribution wou;d be helpful.

Yeah, I didn't really get this one. So in a way this post is spam. The irony.

[Nappi]

I am henry komba from Republic of cote d'ivoire W.Africa,

I am 23years of age, my father owned a lot of plantation

farms here in cote d'Ivoire, my father was poisoned by his

business partners after they returned from their business

trip to switzerland, my mother died several years ago

during her cancer operation.

Before my father died in the hospital bed, he disclosed to

me that he deposited

$9,000,000.00 Million US Dollars in a bank in cote

d'Ivoire, the money was meant for his investment in

abroad. He single handed me over, all the deposit

documentand instructed me to seek for a reliable

investment partner abroad hence,this place is not safe for

me to live because of the that killed him might equally

kill me.

Please I want you to provide me the details of the account

where the bankcan transfer this money so that I will

submit them to the bank and introduce you to them so that

they can transfer the money. After the transfer, you will

deduct your percentage and invest the rest for me in your

country while I will come there and continue my education.

I am waiting to hear from you .

Thanks for your kind attention.

Best regards

HENRY KOMBA

I of course helped the guy.

I also noticed that if I ordered a years load of those penis enlargement pills companies so often offer to me ( ), I would gain additional 4 meters in size. Practical.