Stuart Posted January 21, 2014 So, I couldn't sleep last night, so I bombarded a couple of people with a terrible joke. It was so terrible some people simply logged off immediately after I had sent it over Steam chat. I made this thread as a place to celebrate bad jokes and anti-humor. Post any joke or thing that will incite dry stares among people who see it. There's only one guideline, and it's that the joke shouldn't be offensive. That means, no sexist, casually racist, transphobic, and homophobic bullshit. They say misery loves company. Lets not make that misery by way of bigotry. Anyway, I'll start this cavalcade of shitty jokes. What do you call a hacker who's on a train? a trainer Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
clyde Posted January 21, 2014 What do you call a dog with no legs? "The sand which is there" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dibs Posted January 21, 2014 What's red and goes "Chug chug chug chug chug"? An outboard tomato Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stuart Posted January 21, 2014 What do you call a bear who just got out of a pool? a drisly bear Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
clyde Posted January 21, 2014 What's black and white, black and white, black and white, and black and white? The sand which is there. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tegan Posted January 21, 2014 (edited) So a baby seal walks into a club. Edited March 19, 2014 by tegan Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dibs Posted January 21, 2014 Why can you never go hungry in the desert? Because of the nun which is rolling down the hill Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stuart Posted January 21, 2014 Knock, knock. It's fucking 11 PM, what the fuck you want? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zeusthecat Posted January 21, 2014 A bear and a rabbit are shitting in the woods. The bear asks the rabbit if he ever has problems with shit sticking to his fur. The rabbit replies "No" and the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
melmer Posted January 21, 2014 knock yourself out http://badkidsjokes.tumblr.com/ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
melmer Posted January 21, 2014 I had this girlfriend once who had a tattoo of a seashell on the inside of her thigh and if you put your ear against it you could smell the sea Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Twig Posted January 21, 2014 What's brown and sticky? A STICK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zeusthecat Posted January 21, 2014 Who is the king of grapes? Alexander the Grape I got that one from a popsicle stick. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
subbes Posted January 21, 2014 this is legit my fave joke ever: what kind of birds stick together? vel-crows Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zeusthecat Posted January 21, 2014 Who is a giant douche? Me for actually laughing at some of this stuff. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ucantalas Posted January 22, 2014 Who is a giant douche? Nick Brekon? I kid, I kid, please don't hate me... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tegan Posted January 22, 2014 What's brown and sticky? A STICK What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stuart Posted January 23, 2014 So, there's three religious guys on a plane that's about to crash. They don't have parachutes, only their faith. The first guy prays to God so that when he jumps, he will fall on a bunch of pillows to cushion his fall. And thus, the first guy falls on pillows. The second guy prays to God so that when he jumps, he will fall on a bunch of soft mattresses to cushion his fall. And thus, the second guy falls on soft mattresses. The third guy is in the middle of praying and accidentally slips out of the plane. "Shit!" he yells. And he falls in shit. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
subbes Posted January 23, 2014 Here's a shitty joke: my posting Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
James Posted January 23, 2014 So, there's three religious guys on a plane that's about to crash. They don't have parachutes, only their faith. The first guy prays to God so that when he jumps, he will fall on a bunch of pillows to cushion his fall. And thus, the first guy falls on pillows. The second guy prays to God so that when he jumps, he will fall on a bunch of soft mattresses to cushion his fall. And thus, the second guy falls on soft mattresses. The third guy is in the middle of praying and accidentally slips out of the plane. "Shit!" he yells. And he falls in shit. I personally feel that that joke would be more elegantly told if you left off the last line. The audience can fill that in for themselves. Humour analysis. JOKE COPS Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Merus Posted January 23, 2014 Eating clocks is really time consuming. especially when you go back for seconds Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dibs Posted January 23, 2014 Hey James. James. James. The Royal Family Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
melmer Posted January 23, 2014 An English man, Irishman and a Scottish man find a magical slide whatever you say when your slide down the slide you land in! The English man goes first and says Gold and lands in a pile of Gold The Scottish man goes second and says Silver and lands in a pile of Silver the Irish man goes third and says weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Because Irish people are stupid And i am racist Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
