Salka Posted June 13, 2009 I just received a copy of The Colour Wizard through the post. I bought it in the hope that it might be an old childrens book I remember from my childhood, about a Wizard who painted the sky. It isn't the same book, however the story is similar and I have discovered that if you replace the word "gray" with the word "gay" it's much more interesting. Let me read to you. PS the words in bold are also in bold in the book. A long time ago, and a long way away, there lived a wizard by the name of Gay He was a brown man. <- I did not edit this, this is in the book. But his beard was gay. His clothes were gay. From hat to shoe that wizard was gay. And that's not all. His castle was gay. His tower was gay. His cats and his dragons and his bats were gay. His flowers and his grass and his trees were gay. gay as fog. Then one gay day the wizard said, "What we need around here is a little red. Red is bright!" So he painted his coach. He painted his door. He painted his tower from roof to floor. His dragons said they were wild about red. So he gave each one a dab on the head. They looked proud! But that colour wizard wasn't through. "It's time," he said, "to paint something blue. Blue is cool." So he painted his castle and his fence all blue He painted the statues in the garden too. Then he drew a horse with a curly horn and PRESTO! He made a unicorn. True blue. Now Wizard Gay was having such fun that he stirred up a colour as yellow as the sun. Mellow yellow! He painted his walls. He painted his chair. He painted a golden sun up in the air! He painted the flowers. He painted a tree. He painted his little cats - one, two, three. They looked like tigers! But then that wizard got carried away. He painted all night. He painted all day! Orange clouds... tan ducks... green dogs... black grass... purple birds... white frogs... Then he dipped his brush into each colour pail and sailed through the sky on a rainbow trail. By the time that wizard put his colours away, there was nothing anywhere that was not gay. No castles or towers or dragons or bats, no coaches or flowers or statues or cats. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
James Posted June 13, 2009 Fog is so gay. At university I briefly found it amusing to replace the word "days" with the word "gays" in songs. I think the only two I did before losing interest were "Happy Gays" and "Thank You for the Gays". After that I decided it probably wasn't entirely OK to keep going on about gays and that maybe I was being a bit awful. Also it probably wasn't actually very funny. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Salka Posted June 13, 2009 I'm already finding it slightly less funny to be honest, and I'm looking for other words to replace "gray" with already. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DanJW Posted June 14, 2009 "Racist" He was a brown man. . But his beard was racist. His clothes were racist. From hat to shoe that wizard was racist. And that's not all. His castle was racist. His tower was racist. His cats and his dragons and his bats were racist. His flowers and his grass and his trees were racist Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OssK Posted June 14, 2009 Fog is so gay.At university I briefly found it amusing to replace the word "days" with the word "gays" in songs. I think the only two I did before losing interest were "Happy Gays" and "Thank You for the Gays". After that I decided it probably wasn't entirely OK to keep going on about gays and that maybe I was being a bit awful. Also it probably wasn't actually very funny. It's been a hard gay's night, and I've been working like a dog... HAHAHA MY GOD YOU'RE AWESOME !!! That one's for you Dan ! X-jVAHAuiS4 And thanks a lot Yufster, made me think of a book in my childhood which was in black and white at the beginning and then a Wizard invented colours, so he painted the whole town red (which was in fact magenta). It got everybody very excited. So eveything was red from the sky to the caves from dogs to mice after but a while everybody got tired, so he search for something else. Of course it was blue he found and made everything blue. Same pattern, he then found Yellow and same pattern again, everybody's happy but then the tire of it. So he was sick of people complaining and destroyed the pots which broke and melted the colours and it made new colours and shades. And everybody was happy... Got me thinking, I published a kid's story in a magazine but never thought of translating it... Wonder if it'd interest anyone to read it around here... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Salka Posted June 14, 2009 Dude... what was that book called? I think that might be the one I was trying to find.... Did it have AWESOME illustrations?? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OssK Posted June 14, 2009 Did it have AWESOME illustrations?? It did, lady ! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OssK Posted June 14, 2009 Ordered it from amazon this instant... Pure magic Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Salka Posted June 14, 2009 You are a genius! I've been looking for this book for YEARS!!! I'm sure my version was in English but come to think of it my mother read it to me so she probably translated it. Cool!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OssK Posted June 14, 2009 You are a genius! I've been looking for this book for YEARS!!!I'm sure my version was in English but come to think of it my mother read it to me so she probably translated it. Cool!!! Your mother speaks french ? What a fine woman ! Once I get it I guess I could translate it if you want ^.^ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vimes Posted June 14, 2009 Edit - I should learn to fucking scroll once in my life. BTW, OssK it's available at the Fnac des Halles if you're in Paris. I'ts indeed called the Magicien des Couleurs and It was also part of my childhood. When looking in a FNAC (Ossk will know what I mean) for a book for my 2 year-and-some old niece, I discovered they republished it as well as a bunch of other cult childhood like "Petit Bleu et petit Jaune" and In the Night Kitchen from Sendak (which, by the way, is my third favorite kid book ever.. should we make a list ?) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OssK Posted June 14, 2009 On devrait carrément faire une liste... Ah, et comme je suis un gros porc nerd qui bouge pas son cul de son canapé, je commande les choses sur internet, question de dignité Le chien bleu is so beautiful it broke my heart like a thousand times Les trois cosmonautes from Umberto Eco himself... I think the ones that are my TOP favorite books of all times are from Samivel and I don't know if they've ever been translated. Yufster, if you had french books when you were a kid, you might have heard of them : Ysengrin, Goupil, Brun l'ours… Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Salka Posted June 14, 2009 I haven't but now I must order it. I have some basic french, enough to struggle through Les aventures de Jo Zette et Jocko and have a pretty good idea what's going on. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OssK Posted June 15, 2009 Reading Jo Zette et Jocko truely an act of bravery... Bravo ! (en français dans le texte) Now if you could help me find the book I've been looking for for ages, it's about a boy in a forest... and it's big, and there are tons of shit happening on every page... I think it's about that boy becoming small and meeting a small people... Fuck I wish I remembered it better... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
syntheticgerbil Posted June 15, 2009 Reading Jo Zette et Jocko truely an act of bravery... Bravo ! (en français dans le texte)Now if you could help me find the book I've been looking for for ages, it's about a boy in a forest... and it's big, and there are tons of shit happening on every page... I think it's about that boy becoming small and meeting a small people... Fuck I wish I remembered it better... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OssK Posted June 15, 2009 When I was young, in the size of that picture you could fit an entire zelda game ! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
toblix Posted June 15, 2009 HOLY SHIT I WISH THEY WOULD MAKE ANOTHER ZELDA AS GOOD AS MINISH CAP (AND BY GOOD I MEAN TWO-DIMENSIONAL) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
syntheticgerbil Posted June 15, 2009 When I was young, in the size of that picture you could fit an entire zelda game ! So you aren't a very old guy? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OssK Posted June 15, 2009 Yeah I guess so... I hope... although being a lumberjack makes you age faster… Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OssK Posted June 15, 2009 But don't worry, I'm ok. will anyone get this reference ? I guess yes... The winner might get a personalized pullquote... again ^x^ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
castorp Posted June 15, 2009 Monty Python's Lumberjack Song maybe? There is a line like this, but I don't know, if this specific lumberjack ages faster. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites