Intrepid Homoludens Posted August 13, 2004 I love my niece!! She and I have a special relationship, that we're truly more best friends than niece and uncle. She's 20 years old, lives in CA, manages a Starbuck's, and is currently seeing this gorgeous hunk from L.A. who is half Japanese half German (lucky bitch). She sent me this, and it's soooo sweeeet: A Friendship Are you tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises (without those embedded stupid, "cutesey" graphics that take forever to download) that really speak of true friendship: 1. When you are sad -- I will help get you drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad. 2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid. 4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and tell you to quit whining. 6. When you are confused -- I will use little words. 7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have. 8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. Why?, you may ask:Because you are my friend! Send this to ten of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of two and one of them isn't speaking to you right now. Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. (Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.) Unfortunately she forgot to include the rest of them, so I kindly replied: LOL! That's wonderful........AWWW, I love you too, you strange bitch! But, you forgot the rest of them: 9. Whenever you're feeling weirdly bloated, I will help pay for the abortion. 10. Whenever you're panting excessively, I will patiently wait in the other room until you pull that vibrator out. 11. Whenever you come home drunk at 4 in the morning, I will toss a pillow out the window so the front doorstep will be just a bit more comfy to sleep on. 12. Whenever you need some extra money, I will get you information on which street corners near you are frequented most by lonely middle aged men who would pay generously for your services. Why? Because you're my friend and I love you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrHoatzin Posted August 13, 2004 6. When you are confused -- I will use little words. Oh, you have no idea... No idea... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Intrepid Homoludens Posted August 13, 2004 Yes I do. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Intrepid Homoludens Posted September 12, 2004 What's all this clapping about? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Erwin_Br Posted September 12, 2004 What's all this clapping about? You mean that smiley is clapping? I always thought it's hands were floating in a circle around it's body. --Erwin Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
