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Bored O'Clock

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It's bored O'Clock in Timmy's mind

and staying awake is hard he finds

so clutching his mug of tea in hand

he takes a sip, it's his favourite brand

Something odd happens now

inside his mug he sees a cow

and beside it sits a little girl

who slowly gets up and does a twirl

Dumbfounded Timmy tries to shout

but tea gets splashed inside his snout

for Timmy is not man you see

he's a half hog half duck catastrophe


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Timmy makes a squawking sound

The bark-squawk echoes all around

the sounds fly down into the mug

The girl she offers up a shrug

Shes not bothered, no not her

this doggy mallard doesn’t scare

Shes the bovine princess girl!

inventer of the cow girl twirl!

Timmy stares in disbelief

Who is the freaky fucking queef?

”get out my cup” he barks a howl

and then emits a beaky growl

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The princess smiles and begins to talk

calling him names like rimfield dork

it's time, Timmy thinks, to pull the plug

and jumps on down into the mug

"Now just listen you" he snorts out loud

standing tall to try and look proud

but the cow girl simply grabs his trotter

and shoves it in the cow cream clotter

Timmy yelps and quacks in pain

as blood and bone fall down like rain

the cow meanwhile is quite controlled

as she knows her plan will soon unfold


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The cow is the cleverest of these foolish three

and long has she planned to escape and be free

Free from the mug farm in which she now sits

Free from the princess and her groping mitts

Cow spies her chance and readies her bum

The others are startled, they turn to run

Cow screams “moo” at the top of her voice

for the others, running is the only choice

From the cows anus grows a balloon

And a huge uzi pokes forth from her poon

The uzi spits bullets until it reloads

causing the gut powered balloon explode

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Off she careens up out of tea land

leaving a trail of magical sand

of which each grain flitters down to the floor

and sprouts into a tree that looks like a claw

Timmy and princess were alone at last

the blast form the vast ass had happened so fast

staring now into each others eyes

the princess had yet another surprise

She whipped out a pie and inside was a treat

something warm and sticky and sweet

Timmy leaned closer to see what was there

but what was inside he just could not bear


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A billion gophers jump out of the pie

And proceeded to nibble and chew on Tim’s eye

and then just as fast as they had appeared

the gophers all vanished and left Tim in Tears

Timmy closes his blood soaked eyes

he opens his throat and lets out his warcry


”and you, little princess, will now be retired”

Throwing the princess a terrible glance

Timmy pulled forth his magnificent lance

lifting it high, and with a perfect aim

he charged at the bitch whom he planned to maim

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the girl twirled and twirled and twirled once again

and miraculously morphed into 14 large men

each had a club weighing almost a ton

Timtim grinned, the battle was on

He swung and stabbed and spat at his foes

he kicked in their faces with ugly webbed toes

he fought through with rage until his might was depleted

he knew in his heart he would not be defeated

Looking around for some random assistance

a castle of insects was seen in the distance

this was his goal, of that there's no doubt

if only Timmy could just hold out


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Meanwhile, in the castle, a fire had broken

From fireflies squashed by a meaningless token

The flames caught the throneroom, and out raced the king,

The fearsomest cockroach with one broken wing

The smoke made his eyes weep and filled them with fog

He twirled, lost control, stumbled upon the plug.

Falling, he grabbed it, pulling it hard.

The castle collapsed and broke into shards.

All sorts of bugs came tumbling down

Left drifting in currents beyond their control.

The fire was spreading and when Tim looked again,

A great flaming cloud was headed his way.

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