Friggin' mouse, in my PC.

[Salka]

For about a month now, there has been a mouse living in the attic. I wouldn't care if he stayed up there because that doesn't bother me. I never go in to the attic, and there's nothing up there. But I guess that's exactly why my little friend goes wandering at night.

Usually, he only came out at night. I set mouse traps everywhere, trying to catch this one little mouse. He would climb down the walls from the attic, coming through whatever tiny little hole or crevice he could find, and he would run under my monitor, and then use the rubber coating of various wires and leads to insulate his nest or something. He would chew my printing paper, or sample my drawings. Sometimes, he would even leave samples of his own.

I put mouse traps on the table. Not even humane mouse traps. Those ones that strangle them to death. The first time he escaped death somehow, and since he has not gone near a mousetrap, no matter how much peanut butter or cheese I leave on it. And not just cheese, but expensive brie cheese.

Then, he started getting cocky. I'd be sitting there, and he'd run on down a vertical wall and start running along my table, hopping across the traps like some kind of movie star mouse. Thinking he was so smart. One time he carried off a piece of paper with an essential phone number written on it, right before my incredulous eyes.

So I decided that if the traps wouldn't catch him, I would. Next time he came down, I silently slipped on my black killing gloves, and just when he thought he was hidden, I yanked the monitor out of the way. Somehow, there was no mouse. Nothing. Just poo. My plan had been to catch him while he was struggling up the wall. But there was really nothing there.

And then I saw it. My speakers. The little bastard was inside my speaker box.

Chuckling horribly like the good guys in Tom and Jerry cartoons (You'll notice my opinion on Tom and Jerry has changed since this event), I covered the hole in my speaker with a hand, unplugged it, and brought it outside into the front garden. I turned it over. A pathetic little squeak emerged from inside, and what sounded horribly like little pieces of poo fell after it. Cautiously I tipped the speaker contents into a box. My plan was to put the box in the car, and then drive a hundred miles into the nearest desert and leave it there, like in Tom and Jerry. But, like in Tom and Jerry, it didn't work. The mouse leapt, like some kind of super incredible hulk-style mouse, into the air, twisted, somersaulted, landed in the grass, and scurried straight back into the house.

And straight back into the attic.

Because even as I have been writing this, his little nose is poking through a little tiny hole in the ceiling.

I'm not even joking.

My plan is to put a slice of expensive swiss cheese into the speaker and leave it there. Then, when he eats it, I'll tell him that the holes in it aren't just decoration. They were eaten into it by swiss maggots. Then, he'll feel sick and maybe pass out like I did when I found that out. Or maybe when he goes in to eat it, I'll put the entire speaker into the car and drive into the desert.

I guess Santa misinterpeted my wish for a wireless mouse for the computer. Ahh! It's probably pregnant. It'll probably have a nest of baby rats in my speaker. Haha, not if I catch if first. I'll punch it in the stomach with my index finger until it has a rodent miscarriage. How I used to laugh when DF had this problem. Oh, the irony.

Anybody else with gross, unfunny stories about mice?

[Jayel]

Once I accidentally stepped on a live mouse and killed it.

It felt squish and slippery and weird.

okay so it's not really a funny story.

[Erwin_Br]

Our Guinea Pig once escaped from it's cage. And we couldn't find it for two days, until we found some fluffy cotton-like material all over the floor. We could follow a trail of this stuff and it lead us right to... a brand new speaker (quite expensive too!) which my audiophile father bought a week ago (at the time). The soft material was some kind of coating inside that speaker, which had a hole in the back. It took us quite a while to get the animal out, until we decided to play some very loud music with lots of bass. Yes, it could have easily been an adventure game puzzle

--Erwin

[Salka]

Hahaha!

Our hamster got loose once when we were staying with our grandparents.

Who didn't know we'd brought the hamster.

And they had a dog.

We searched everywhere for the damn creature. But it was nowhere to be found. About a week pasted. Sometimes we'd hear the dog growling for no reason, and we'd rush to see if he'd found it. But all to no avail.

Unfortunately, we did not have a clever solution like you did. We found it when we heard our grandfather yelling from his bedroom, "Jaysus CHRIST! Get this feckin' animal off my bed!!!"

I miss Hoagie...