_oswald

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Everything posted by _oswald

  1. Most Dull Online game Ever

    But it's a 200% accurate representation of what life is like for a Third World Farmer! Complete with rampant AIDS, the shady 'Peanut Market' and the all-too-familiar complete-and-total-lack-of-fun! Maybe there should be an option added to the game where you can opt to receive a care package of razor blades to slit your wrists. Sure would beat having your corn molested by gangs and your cows die of drought.
  2. Real Life Doom

    I thought Japanese people re-cycled their urine and fecal matter by covering their naked bodies with it while wearing protective eyewear. Oh wait, that was semen - the other bodily fluid.
  3. I bring this to you, 'Thumbers, because you are the only people besides my pal LeChimp and myself who have ever played the game Beyond Good and Evil. Setup: I'm about to go to the moon, but then I decide "shit, I'm missing a few animals - better get pictures before I go." I start hunting them down, get almost all of them on Hillys and then realize one is in the Factory in the 4th floor before the 'Boss Fight' area. I high-tail it to the Factory with Double H in tow only to find that the elevator that Pey'J half-assedly fixed is now fully broken and cannot be summoned and the only other way I can figure out to get to the area I need to is behind a set of red lasers (the Entrance to the arena where you fight the Robot Domz boss fight with Double H on your side) that I can't turn off. This irks the living crap out of me. I like BG+E. A lot. But I am not going to replay a whole shit-ton of crap (and at this point, due to the game only allowing five saves - that would be the entire game) in my quest to get every animal photographed in order to get the Animal M-Disk. Does anyone know another route around this or am I up shit creek without a paddle and just biding my time using my hands? In shit, -Erik
  4. Beyond Good and Evil - stuck and up the creek.

    If my patience can put up with the 4th phase, I'll beat it. Otherwise, I find it just too incredibly cheap when the DomZ Priest goes above you. Dodging that without taking a hit (and hitting him before the 'timer' resets and his pattern goes back to the beginning) isn't challenging - it's just stupidly frustrating. I guess I read it best on the Mobygames: "An eclectic gem in the rough, marred by a few rather silly problems"
  5. Beyond Good and Evil - stuck and up the creek.

    Current plan: Drink more Grolsch beer and try again. If I don't beat it on the next half-dozen tries, I'm going to just ask for someone to spoil the ending for me and move on to another game. This has to be one of the single worst game design crapfests I've ever encountered. And I've played Daikatana and the Iron Maiden "Ed Hunter" game. Ugh.
  6. Beyond Good and Evil - stuck and up the creek.

    I -thought- I did that. I don't know, maybe I can take their picture while fighting the final boss? Oh, and on that note, the final boss is a total fucking pile of crap. The first three phases are fine, but the fourth phase is unnecessarily stupid and frustrating. I know y'all love Ancel Marcel or whatever his name is, but I really want to kick him in the nuts for this routine in pure frustration featuring backwards controls, blurred vision and horribly designed 'must hit him in this order only' attack plan of pure molestation.
  7. Beyond Good and Evil - stuck and up the creek.

    The whale, yep. Still one short... goddamnit. Just one...
  8. Beyond Good and Evil - stuck and up the creek.

    I'm pretty sure I got the Albino Mouse. I don't know what the fuck I'm missing but I definately consider this a bad level design move. I'm not a "hardcore gamer", I don't intend to replay the game but I would have liked to at least gotten my M-Disc so I could look back at the kickass animal designs that the team created. Eh. I'll just finish it off and play Indigo Prophecy.
  9. The XBOX 360 revelation thingy

    If the rumored backwards compatability option does end up being true, I'll crap my pants and buy an Xbox 360 the moment it shits the shelves.
  10. A Conclusion

    The imagery was great, the acting was good and the music fit wonderfully... ...oh, and the last 20 minutes were fucking awful.
  11. Psychonauts hate thread

    Hrm? Do ya' think there is some big-time illuminai conspiracy where Gamestop is messing up the CD's on purpose? That's big time crazy nuts, man! Then again, after the amount of crap we've all had to go thru with Gamestop, it might not be to ofar fetched.
  12. my fan made monkey island game

    I'd pay big money for a Sanford and Son Wolf 3D mod. You could play as Son and be like "shut up dad, I'm a real man!" and pop Sanford in the ass with a BFG 9000.
  13. Psychonauts hate thread

    I'm sure you'll be glad to know that I checked my copy at Gamestop before I walked out and all 5 discs are in my posession and the game takes up 3.61 gigs of my hard-drive.
  14. Reasons why Steam is useless and bad

    Contact Valve.
  15. Psychonauts hate thread

    Psychonauts damn well better be in tommorow. 1) I stopped by the Gamestop that I pre-ordered at and as soon as I walked in the door the clerk noticed me and ran to grab a folder with a tracking slip from UPS saying that it should be in tommorow. It appears that I've frequented their establishment enough to qualify as having the Cheers theme song play when I enter the door. 2) I got a phone call from some hot-sounding baby named 'Aeris' at Gamestop saying that Psychonauts will be in tommorow. I hope to spend Wednesday night and Thursday morning/afternoon gaming it up, Doublefine style.
  16. Psychonauts hate thread

    Holy buckets taht sucks man. I'd email Majesco and be like: "Listen, fartknockers, you messed up and you should pay for the shipping -both- ways as well as replace my disc and send an entirely new copy back that's augoraphed by God himself." On a similarily angry note, I'm going to stop at Gamestop on the way to school tonight and if they don't have my copy in (so help me God) I'll strange a summanabitch and proclaim "Majesco had it available since the 22nd, you tardwads don't air-ship your damn games! GAH!" ...though I'll leave soon after his body hits the floor. Don't want to get arrested.
  17. Elijah Wood Goes 360

    Kevin wasn't a rapist. He pryed on hookers because nobody cared if they died (and their deaths were easy-as-nails to cover-up). Goddamnit, Iv;e been beaten to the punch.
  18. Psychonauts hate thread

    I'm going to stop by Gamestop after school and if they don't have it in stock I'll cancel my pre-order and go to the nearby EbGames. A T-Shirt would be kickass but this is ri-fucking-cockulous.
  19. Psychonauts hate thread

    I should stop by after school tonight and demand that the game materialize before my eyes or I'll urinate on the carpet. It worked at the zoo once...
  20. Psychonauts hate thread

    Gamestop has it pushed back to tommorow. This makes my penis cry. I pre-ordered it last Saturday thinking "I may be too late, but I want me a t-shirt!" and now it seems like I could have waited until next year to be worried about pre-ordering it too late. I don't know who is responsible for these stupid day-by-day pushbacks, but I blame Alfie.
  21. Time for a new Psychonauts thread

    Well then, said whales would have to go to the Underwater Athletic Club and loose some blubber.
  22. Time for a new Psychonauts thread

    Where are my pants? ...nevermind. Anyhow, I'm on the fence of which version of Psychonauts to pre-order (PC or X-Box) and the one reason I am on said fence is 'controller mechanism inquiry extravangaza.' I have an ol' Microsoft Sidewinder Gamepad... now, if that would perform the necessary functions (I don't care about having to hit 'Space' for 'Pause' or any junk like that), sweet. However, if the game requires three million buttons, I may have to snag a device to use my X-Box controller on my PC (I have heard rumors of their existence from cave trolls named Marge) or just say 'screw this' and fork out the extra twenty bucks. Also, anyone know what size the shirts are in? I used to think it looked cool to wear a 'Large' t-shirt, but now I've decided it just makes you look fat.
  23. The best part about the DC is it's homebrew scene. For instance, the Beats of Rage engine port that resulted in a collection of Streets of Rage type games (and more on the way) called 'Beats of Rage - Collection 1'. Hell, there are commercial Dreamcast titles coming out (granted it's about once every year or so) but that in itself is a testament to the system's market (check LikSang for these gems). Also, most every emulator has been ported as well (from the expected NES to the unexpected Apple ][.) You haven't lived until you've played Michael Jackson's 'Moonwalker' on your Dreamcast.
  24. Tell Us About Yourself

    Rodi was curious as to who I am, so here is an introduction: I'm a 21 year old native from Minnesota (not the Netherlands, as my Dutch Khaeon comdrads do) though I composed some tracks for Alpha Black Zero. I'm currently wrapping up my fourth semester in Audio Production and Recording. Also, I like long walks on the beach, Postal 2, small children and shaving babies.
  25. future gamedesigners are dreamless drones

    As someone who has worked with PlayLogic... If I had to compare them to EA, at least EA pays their employees on time. Take that how you will, just factor that into which road you decide to travel upon.