Ben X

Ha ha, glad you liked that - I went back and edited it in once I saw it! I've played about half an hour of Zeno Clash and so far... it's pretty fucking awful. The art design is really nice, but the storytelling is incoherent, cod-philosophical tripe, there's a huge lack of polish (e.g. checkpoints just before cutscenes, having to press a key to reload after a fail with no prompt), the tutorial - delivered by a guy with a low growl in what is already a muddy audio balance - is very little help, levels which consist of a straight line of twenty or so spitting enemies, floaty character movement, and worst of all the fighting mechanics are incredibly fiddly with moves that don't work half the time, weapons that are useless to the point of being a hindrance, the same key for block and throw your weapon (which is very frustrating when fighting an enemy you need that weapon for who then stands on top of it so you can't get it). The block move is quite forgiving, though, so that's a plus! I'm going to give it more time in case I somehow click with it, but I can't imagine I'll be playing this game for long... I've come to realise that first person melee systems, much like with stealth systems, really need visualisations so the player can see hit radiuses, combo-building, block timing etc. Even if it's only in the tutorial or first couple of levels.

Yeah, that was the bit where I had to take a breather a few posts up. That's probably where I recommend people (who already own it) play up to on easy then quit at! Laco has gifted me Zeno 1, so I'll jump back to that as my next game. I think my gaming pace is probably going to slow down again soon, so it may be a longer in between posts - I'll be 3DRealmsing it, basically.

Ok, thanks all, I'll give Zeno Clash a go, then. Thanks @Laco! I'll keep Zeno Clash 2 on the list now I've got it, though; if nothing else it'll be interesting to compare and see if I agree with the consensus. Meanwhile, I've given up on DNF. Too many crappy shooting sections, then the Battlelord (a giant version of one of the lizards) shows up again. You're stuck on a dam top fighting him, and it's rather dull, but at least there's vehicles for cover. Then you defeat him, successfully perform your glory kill, and he gets up and recharges anyway and you have to do the whole thing a second time except now he follows you around and stands on top of you shooting you. It is stupid and I couldn't be bothered to make 50 attempts at it until I got lucky with the AI and health recharge. I scrubbed through a playthrough to see if I was missing anything after that, but it goes from this to: a corridor section where you turn valves to stop steam and push buttons to turn off fans (FPS tropes 1138 and 1139 respectively - although at one point you stop a massive fan by pushing a filing cabinet into it which is pretty cool); a platforming bit set in a giant clockwork bit which looks nice but knowing the sluggish movement of this game would be a pain in the arse; another miniaturised section (weird how often they go to this well considering it presents Duke as emasculated); a boss fight with the Octaking (a giant version of one of the octaliens); tons of concrete/canyon corridors; a forklift truck section (in which, amusingly, you smash through any crates and impale enemies); another boss-fight with the Octaking, except this time you're on a tiny platform; some incredibly clunky pop culture references ("There can be only one...king. You fuck."); a boss fight with a giant tentacle underwater where you need to repeatedly go to a pipe directly in its attack path to top up on air; another boss-fight with the Cycloid Emperor which now resets twice; and finally an interactive cutscene where a mushroom cloud goes off in the distance (I feel like this is becoming pretty standard too - COD:MW, FEAR, maybe one of the Crysis games?). So not missing much, really. If someone got this for free, I'd probably recommend playing it through on easy until they got bored. The front half of the game is pretty stacked with detail and variety. It's just let down by the actual shooting and repetitive second half - it could probably be vastly improved by a fan mods with a few basic changes, but as it is it's impossible to call it a good game. The long history of the game All the trailers A couple of scorching reviews Forum thread (the one that coincides with the actual release, anyway) - which reminded me that @Denial was also at that launch party! A quote from @Jake in another DNF thread on Nov 10th 2004: "seriously, anyone who genuinely thinks 3DR is going to close up shop without putting out a ridiculously fun and engrossing Duke Nukem Forever is a fool. It might take them another two, three, or ten years, but they will eventually put out a game, and it will be fun, and it will sell a zillion copies."

Someone responded to my yearnings for a good first-person melee system with a suggestion of the Zeno Clash games. I thought that was in this thread, but apparently not. Anyway, I've just been gifted Zeno Clash 2, and it has some weapons in it so it's going on the list! It actually came out on the same day as Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon; I slotted it in before that game, as they're coming after Bioshock Infinite and I figure it'll be the more different of the two. DNF has come to another of the relatively-open shooting bits that it's not very good at, so I'm taking a breather.

I liked ep 3 better. It was very tropey and didn't feel that 'Trek', but it was a lot less clunky and I'm moderately intrigued by all the stuff.

Latest from Hello Games looks gorgeous and crazily ambitious: http://www.vg247.com/2013/12/08/no-man%E2%80%99s-sky-from-joe-danger-studio-hello-games-debuts-during-vgx/

Yeah, that rooftop section sucked, mainly because it was super-easy to get there low on ammo.

Well, I think you have different criteria for successful satire to me, which is fair enough. It might help to watch the whole 45 minute episode, though...

This has been cancelled but after (and perhaps due to) a massive fan outcry, Netlfix have commissioned a series finale.

Hey, eot gifted me E.Y.E.! Thanks eot! Hopefully I won't find the RPG elements impenetrable... Paul: I found a quote from someone (Randy Pickford?) saying that, but there are so many things that are so close to Doom 3 I find it hard to believe that engine's not in there. If it isn't, they've made a ton of bad design decisions. I got past the infuriating boss fight, which as a final spit in the eye also demands that you find the right spot on the defeated boss to press E for a glory kill within a small amount of time otherwise it resets and you have to start again). Speaking of glory kills, mortally wounded regular enemies allow you to perform these in order to gain health back, preempting Doom '16 by 5 years! Anyway, the game has picked up again. There was another fun miniaturised section in a burger joint, avoiding mouse-traps, using waffle toasters to get propelled to higher shelves, and running over dead staff members to avoid electrified waters, and a scavenger hunt in a strip club, the setting of which came off as pretty juvenile but was full of fun arcade games, especially a really solid air-hockey table. The other levels have felt very reminiscent of an American SouthWest Half-life 2, climbing a tentacle-choked tower then driving a monster truck along a highway stopping occasionally for some shooting and light puzzling. It's a damn shame that the shooting isn't up to much, because apart from a couple of ropey sections, this game steals from the best and so far has kept the variety and attention to detail high throughout.

Ha ha, I really wanted to believe that one, but finding out how close it hews to a classic (likely) hypothetical political mud-throwing manoeuvre forced me to be cynical about it.

I'm pretty sure the current British government contains at least a few politicians who would fuck a pig if it got them a 24 hour news cycle, never mind preserved their entire career...

I had a great time last night, thanks everyone! I was a bit drunk so hopefully I wasn't being an arse. Hopefully I'll be available to do some more soon

I'm taking the gloves off: the first two episodes were dreadful. Clumsy writing, cheesy acting, nothing that actually sets the series' stall out. I'm sure it will be a lot better by episode 8, but currently it looks gorgeous and fails on every other front.

I just got to the worst boss fight ever. It is fucking awful. Takes so long, is insanely difficult, there's no cover and Duke's shitty health system means that it's incredibly easy to get one-shotted when you're seconds away from finally finishing it.

Ah. Yeah you should watch ep 2. I was counting them as one. I don't think it will 180 your opinion, but you may walk it back a little further!

Weeeell, I'm not so sure about that...

Ooh, thanks! Usual proviso applies I have no idea how gifting works, I'm afraid... Thanks! Better written or more accurate or more factual or..? Predictably, the game is getting worse. There was a fun section where I was miniaturised and doing sweet ramps in an RC car or fighting with rats (they came for revenge!), but then the shooting proper started and the DooM3 engine is just not suited here. Where that game utterly reinvented its predecessor into a slow horror with a custom-fit engine, this one tries to stay the same blastathon and it doesn't fit. For one thing, there's regenerating health and I as Duke am often running (or rather speed-walking - Duke is as slow as Doom Guy here) away and cowering in corners to recover. Also, there are only 4 weapon slots, and I had to go into the settings to change that up from the default 2 (as well as taking auto-aim off) [EDIT: apparently the 4-slots option was patched in after release]! It's also really stingy with ammo - I've come perilously close to running out a few times. I really wish I'd taken my own advice from DN3D and put it on easy! I've also got to the alien hive level, where the treatment of women gets really gross. It's the old Aliens cocoon gag from DN3D, but in hi-res and with a lot more invasive imagery. The game condones shooting them through Duke's dialogue, and the alien rape is made explicit and wholly sexual - the women weep about what was done to them, and the cocooned and nude Holsom twins (who are recurring sympathetic characters at this point) talk about it being their first time, before their bellies suddenly swell and burst, releasing a bunch of scuttling little aliens. It's repulsive in all the wrong ways. There are still some redeeming qualities, though - it continues to introduce fun little moments (although there are also physics puzzles and hunt-the-battery bits) and make good jokes. It also pokes fun at contemporary(ish) FPSes Doom and Prey - the marine armour is offered to Duke by an EDF soldier, to which he replies "power armour is for pussies", and in the alien hive Duke gets through sphincteral doors by gently tickling them with his finger.

I will say that when I played multiple Bioshocks in a row I started to get a little burnt out on that. Well, this game certainly reflects its predecessor so far: dense interactivity, and cartoonish machismo. I'm barely out of the first level and so far, I've pissed in a ton of toilets, washing and drying my hands afterwards, drawn on a whiteboard with the dexterity of a two year old (I drew a winky on the alien), taken down the EOGB from DN3D without breaking a sweat in what turns out to be me as Duke playing as Duke in a video game called Duke Nukem Forever, received a blowjob from identical schoolgirl twin popstars The Holsom twins (which I'll take to be biting satire on sexualisation of minors in the media) - competing with Call Of Juarez for start-to-blowjob - looked out on a Las Vegas expanse from my hideously gaudy Donald-Trump-esque penthouse (floor 69), played some pool (I must have spent 15 minutes trying and failing to sink all the balls in the hopes of increasing my max Ego, i.e. health, to the amusment of the Holsoms), turning off all the lights which caused the Holsoms to alternately get scared and suggest hide and seek, walking around a talk show studio punching out a Christian Bale-a-like ranting at some sound guy, exploded a rat in a microwave, found the make-up person's Duke-branded dildo, used a remote controlled car to push an energy core within hand's reach, taken a wrong turning in some vents and spied on a lesbian couple, shot some hoops, lifted some weights, played some pinball, and shot down an alien mothership. The shooting's not great and the graphical fidelity's a few years behind - it's hard to find a definitive answer as to what engine it's in though it feels very DooM3, especially as it seems to straight up copy the 'imp crawling past on a window' animation - but I'm having fun! They do seem to be taking the piss out of Duke in this game, rather than buying into the worship, and I've chuckled a fair few times. Plus the opening was genuinely stylish and well done, a pulpy Robert Rodriguez type thing.

Ha ha! Well, the reason it's taking so long is that I'm not really binging (I have been a little over the past couple of months but that's about it), I'm fitting it into my normal life as I usually would. And as it's backlog, it's almost all games I actively want to play, and the size of it means I feel free to uninstall as soon as I stop enjoying a game. Also there's been a fair amount of variety so far, especially as I'm moving through decades of genre evolution. When it comes down to it, FPS along with adventure game is my favourite genre - it'll take a lot for me to tire of it! I've actually had a few games on the side as well: I play any Size Five game a lot, obv, plus I recently caught up on a load of indie classics (Thomas Was Alone, Passage, Dear Esther, Limbo, Fez, Kentucky Route Zero, Braid, To The Moon, Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP, Papers Please, Super Meat Boy, VVVVV) and jumped on Split/Second when I wanted some quick arcade thrills. To be honest, once this is done I'm probably more likely to funnel my leisure time into catching up on film and tv for a while rather than different gaming genres. I do have a handful of walking simulators and film/tv tie-in games that I'd like to play after this, though. Oh, and Osmo, that 1997 Nukem Forever preview is fantastic.

Okay yeah, Sanctum is a pretty vanilla tower defense thing, which I'm not that interested in. I'll keep it installed in case someone wants to co-op with me. Onto Duke Nukem Forever! Ridiculously, I'm pretty excited to play this game, for a few reasons: Morbid curiosity The hope that it will be like a B-movie Crysis 2. Full of stupid bombast (though with less fidelity and cohesion) Because I went to the press launch party and had a great, memorable time*. To finally actually play the game will hopefully add some extra nuance to that memory. For a reminder of my reaction to Duke Nukem 3D, head to page 4 of this thread. *

Borderlands seems quite close, yeah. (I played Trine with my girlfriend and we both bounced off it pretty hard.) SecretAsianMan and I are trying to get together some Team Fortress 2 tonight, in about 12 hours from now. There are at least 3 slots open if anyone fancies it. Bear in mind I have never played it and it is free, so noobs and veterans are welcome! Check out the multiplayer thread.

Paul and Osmo are out, so there's at least three open spots for doing this in about 12 hours time.

Sorry, I just thought it was worth making sure we were on the same page before considering the others. I haven't played any of them except Portal 2 co-op (which was awesome but puzzle-based so not quite the thing I'm talking about here either), so I concentrated on L4D. I'll take a look at all of them, thanks!

SAM: Sweet, I'll take a look. I'll see how much I like Sanctum, maybe we can keep an eye out for one or the other going on sale or something. Tycho: yeah, to be honest I was struggling myself to put my finger on the specific differences. But you can see how playing HL2 with someone would be different to playing L4D? I guess a good way to put it is that L4D is surviving an ordeal with friends, what I'm looking for is sharing an adventure. ...