Zeusthecat

Also, so sorry if I didn't fully engage with your comment and went right into "hey pay attention to me" mode. I really like your examples and especially this piece: "but I do feel elevated by demonstrations of capability beyond my current capacity". That is a very poignant observation that makes me ponder the nature of inspiration and our perception of what we are and aren't capable of. In my experience, that phenomenon feels less like learning something new and more like realizing I know something that I didn't know I knew.

That's an interesting perspective Clyde. To give an example of what exactly about inspiration has piqued my interest so much, I'll admit something super embarrassing. Back in 2016 I watched the anime Your Lie In April. To this day I can't explain why, but something about the way that story was presented turned on that feeling of inspiration to such a strong degree that I proceeded to spend the next 5 years straight playing piano for 1-hour per day. I was garbage at first, but by the end of that 5-year stretch, I had memorized 37 songs and had gotten somewhat decent for someone just teaching myself and recalling music techniques I learned as a child (I did play saxophone for many years growing up so I wasn't completely new to music). That moment of inspiration somehow resulted in me maintaining that level of discipline for 5 years and as I've examined what was at the core of that emotion more closely, I've realized that what I was really after was setting off the same feeling that was set off in me in others. There is something immensely appealing about the thought of being able to create or do something that another person sees and experiences the kindling of that flame. Another big one for me has been Jacob Collier's audience choirs. I can't watch those without tears starting to form. It is like getting the briefest glimpse into what humanity could actually be.

Right on Clyde. To expand a bit on my side, I've made it a point to immerse myself in things I disagree with and that make me uncomfortable. And some really interesting stuff has happened as a result. I've gotten way happier, way more hopeful, and way more comfortable with conflict. The phenomenon of having an idea that one is completely convinced is true, broadcasting that idea to the world, and seeing it clash with other ideas is such a beautiful thing, if only people weren't so damn attached to their own opinions. This is going to sound cheesy as fuck, but I've adopted a mentality that has completely changed my outlook on the world. Whereas most people think and assume they are the hero in their story, I take the opposite approach. Statistically speaking, if a hero is out there it is most likely someone else, not me. So when I engage with someone, especially those I disagree with, I put myself in their shoes and imagine they are on a hero's journey and I am the chief supporting character. They are Frodo and I am Sam. And it's my job to help them reach the best possible version of themselves. Notably, I've found that that does not mean just being nice and making the world cozy for them. Quite the contrary: it means challenging them, sometimes vociferously, to try to help them grow in some small way. But it also means treating them as good, decent human beings, regardless of who they voted for and what their political persuasion is. And it means eating shit and acknowledging fault when I have violated my ethos. Which is really no big deal. Being wrong is fine and it's something I'm quite comfortable admitting when it is clearly the case. I hope one day that this is the way the world operates. That everyone could see the tremendous potential in others and contribute to the right conditions for that potential to be met. New ideas and discoveries that move humanity and all of life forward can come from the most unlikely places and if we want to maximize the chance of that happening, we certainly need to stop treating modern discourse as a battle of good versus evil.

Inspiration: the most mysterious and powerful emotion of them all. That feeling that rises up when you see someone risk everything to save someone else. Or the feeling I get when I see Samwise Gamgee carrying Frodo up Mt. Doom at the end of RoTK. I've been really exploring how to cultivate that emotion more in myself and others.

Daryl Davis. His story is incredible. There is something immensely inspiring about how he managed to pull multiple people out of the KKK by simply showing them his humanity. I'm fascinated by the rare people like him who are willing to engage with and treat people with genuine humanity even when those people have nothing but disdain for them.

I've thought about coming back to post many times, but honestly, my views on many things have evolved over the years and to be blunt, I'm not confident that healthy discussions can be had on these forums with the appropriate level of nuance. Which is a problem for me because if I'm going to post, I have to be able to be open, honest, and vulnerable about my thoughts on things. Quite frankly, towards the end of my time posting heavily on these forums, it started feeling more and more like conversations would get shut down and people banned just when the conversations were starting to get interesting. Words like "dog whistle" and "so-and-so-phobic" got wheeled out to derail legitimately interesting points. It stopped feeling like two sides debating points on an issue and more like one side arguing a point and accusing the other side of being evil for not agreeing with the point. We used to point out logical fallacies when having a discussion and then somehow fell victim to a style of debate that heavily hinged on fallacies. Then on the video game side, I'm still just a Minecraft junkie like always and that was never really a big thing here. I realize some will read this post and think "oh no, Zeus went far right", but at this point, if that is how a post like this is interpreted I just shrug my shoulders. My desire for fruitful conflict has exceeded my desire for people to not get the wrong idea about me. There are so many competing forces and ideologies and when you step back from it all and try to make sense of what's happening in our world, there are some very interesting conversations we could be having if we had the guts to have them. But at the same time, if me having these conversations here is going to hurt people's feelings, then it's not worth it to me and I'll just remain silent and have these conversations elsewhere. I am still a people pleaser after all and would rather not debate at all than debate and have someone's feelings get hurt. I do truly cherish the time I spent posting on these forums and it's great to see some of you still posting. It'll be interesting to see where things go from here if they go anywhere at all!

The idea behind this thread is to post whatever random, silly thoughts you have had lately. I apoligize if this thread already exists but I wasn't able to find one so I assume it doesn't. Here is mine for today: I went to the bathroom and as I looked down at my dong waiting for the stream to flow, I noticed that I tend to press down on my weiner with my thumb like one would do with a bottle of cheese whiz. That spawned 2 thoughts. First, I think the creators of cheese whiz made this comparison long ago and it might be one of the biggest inside jokes in the food industry. Second, I will never be able to look at my junk without thinking of cheese whiz ever again.

I've been playing Rocket League on a regular basis for about 2 years now. Finally hit Diamond rank in competitive 3's before the last season ended and am getting somewhat okay at the game. Anyone else still playing this? Despite Epic doing everything in their power to ruin this game I'm still having a blast. New season started yesterday and has some pretty good stuff in the Rocket Pass if anyone's interested.

Randomly stumbled on Jacob Collier in 2020 when COVID started and he quickly became my all-time favorite musician. He might be the single most talented musician of our era. This song is my absolute favorite. Listen to it on repeat at least 5 times and there is no possible way it won't pull at your heart at least a little.

Hey don't sell yourself short. Retirements or no, I'm sure you've earned it. I'll try to pop in from time to time with some random thoughts. I've been delving a bit more into epistemology over the last few years and that's been pretty interesting. It's given me some pretty good insight into just how shaky the foundation is for many of the opinions and beliefs that I hold and increased my level of empathy for my fellow human beings holding opinions that differ from my own. It's got me pining for some of the old debates we used to have on these forums. Those are hard to come by these days with many people immediately either labeling people they disagree with as 'evil' or just outright assuming they are arguing in bad faith. And pretty much every major media outlet dials that up to 11, pouring gasoline on an already raging fire. So yeah, that's kind of where I'm coming from with my original CNN/FoxNews comment. I just see everyone organizing into their little diametrically opposed camps, seething with vitriol for those that disagree with them. It's heartbreaking. I'd like to see some warmth come back to humanity and for everyone to collectively chill the fuck out. Sorry for the rant. This used to be the one place where we could delve into shit and then everyone moved to Slack and the dynamic fundamentally changed. If anyone else shares my general sentiment, then please chime in. If not, I'll remain in the background and bring my reanimated corpse in here every 6 months or so to try to keep Idle Banter limping along.

(Don't feel pressured to keep responding btw, I'm just feeling chatty today) I'm happy for you SAM, that's so awesome. I remember you posting about your first child being born and all the stresses of your job (which you admittedly had to be somewhat discreet about when sharing details). I didn't realize you had a son now too. And the age difference between your kids is almost exactly the same as mine (my son is 10 and my daughter is 14)! I hope as senior engineer that you have a good team under you that you can delegate work to and that those previous stressful responsibilities don't still fall solely on you, assuming this is the same job you were talking about all those years ago. Thanks for making my day and for always being cool towards me, even when I was being ridiculous!

Haha, that's such a crazy coincidence. It is great to see you respond and I do appreciate it. I hope you're doing well and I think about you and some of the other forum regulars on a fairly frequent basis. We definitely had some good times. To this day I still avoid social media like the plague and this remains the one and only place that I ever engaged in "internet discussions". Crazy to think I was still in my 20's when I joined. I'll be 40 this year. And my daughter's turning 15 next month. I'd like to think life has made me a bit wiser now, but I'm not so sure. Seems that every time I learn something new, it only reveals how ignorant I undoubtedly am about a million other things.

SAM!!! I missed you buddy! I guess I have to keep sharing Idle Banter after all. I'm a little light on random thoughts right now but I've been feeling a bit nostalgic for the old days on these forums. We had some good debates and discussions and I figured it wouldn't hurt to throw some shit out there and see if anybody's actually checking in on the forums.

Dead Thread Redemption... Anyone else notice that almost all information out there has become completely unreliable unless you have a super strong bullshit detector? I swear, almost every "fact" I try to research has reams of information that both support and disprove it. Something fun that I've started doing (well, technically not fun, but interesting at least) is to pull up CNN and FoxNews side-by-side and just observe the wildly different universes they are portraying. And each supposedly backed by facts! It's gotten to the point that I eschew any and all group identification and prefer to just make up my own mind about each thing/topic on a case-by-case basis. Also, I think pretty soon I'm going to get to exercise squatters rights on Idle Banter. If nobody else posts within the next 6 months, I'm claiming this section of the forums for myself! (Gormongous, SAM, Ben, Synth, I know one of you is bound to check in here eventually)

Heyo! Hope everyone is doing well. Saw that the last post in Banter was sometime in April and thought this section was overdue for a refreshed timestamp. Fortunately, life has been good in the Zeus household. I'm very grateful for my children (10 and 14 now) and the amazing relationship I have with my partner. We'll be getting married soon and I couldn't be happier with our situation. It's strange because my past life feels so foreign to me now. But those memories are there and stand as a vivid contrast to the life I am living today. And I'm glad they're there because they are a constant reminder to feel gratitude every day and not fall into complacency. Anyways, I hope life is going well for others and I miss you all.

So, this may be considered blasphemy by many people but I ditched my Android phone earlier this year and got an HTC 8x. You will probably hate me even more when I say that I really like this phone and it is one of the most solid phones I've had. I would even say that I like the Windows Phone 8 UI better than Android/Apple. I don't really use apps so the lack of apps hasn't really been an issue for me since I spend most of my time on the web which has also been pretty great because the web browser is decent. Despite all of that, I'm kind of lost when it comes to finding good games. Right now I just have Fruit Ninja and Angry Birds for my daughter to play and I'm not one to drop money on games unless I am convinced they will be good. So does anyone else here have a Windows 8 phone or have any recommendations of good games that are available on these devices? Aaaand, I just saw Dewar's post in the Nextbox 1080 thread so I bet I might get some hate for this. Some ironic timing.

Hey Gorm, I know it's several months later but that's great to hear that your relationship is going well and that the podcast is still alive. And I appreciate you inviting me on that one time years ago, that was fun. I hope life is still going well for you and for everyone else on here. Reflecting back a bit, it's amazing how much of a difference it makes having a truly good and supportive partner. Sometimes I can't believe how good life is now. That's not to say that there are no struggles or challenges (there are definitely some difficult things we are dealing with right now). But man, being in a relationship where we both lead with empathy and put each other first just makes every challenge seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things. I'm closing in on 38 now and for the first time in my life I don't feel like anything is lacking or missing. And even better, my partner treats my children (now 9 and 13) as if they were her own. They suffered a lot of verbal and emotional abuse from their mother and it's been great seeing how much life has improved for them too. I can't imagine how hard it is for them to reckon with the fact that their mother completely abandoned them (none of us have heard from her in over a year) but they genuinely seem so much happier now than they've ever been. In times like these I try now harder than ever to take the time to express gratitude and not take any of this for granted. Fuck the hedonic treadmill.

Hey, good to see you here Gorm! Hope you're doing well. Anything new going on with you?

Ah cool, good to see you Ben and I hope life has been treating you well! Cool that we at least have one old regular still popping in. I'll try to check in a little more often. Hope to see some other regulars back in here at some point.

Wow, it's been a long time since anyone's been on here. Hope everyone's been doing well. Life has taken some wild turns these last couple years. Wife cheated on me a bunch and my marriage went down the shitter. Moved from Arizona to Colorado. Got divorced. Got full custody of my kids. And somehow at the end of it all ended up with the woman of my dreams, someone I've known since 3rd grade and who I reconnected with through a chance encounter on one of my Twitch streams. Definitely some bad years and dark times but somehow life now is better than it's ever been.

The concept of privilege is a thing that is discussed a lot on these forums. Being in a position of privilege myself, I do my best to try to recognize how I am privileged and how it informs my perception of the world. As I've been thinking about this I realized that there is a privilege almost all humans share: the capability to assert ourselves over animals and consume them. People of all genders and ethnicities, the rich, the poor, the educated, and the uneducated almost all consume meat. Why is this? Why do we fight for gender equality and fight to end racism but we feel perfectly comfortable subjugating and consuming various species of animals? We certainly don't need to consume animals to survive and would in fact be healthier overall if we didn't (goodbye heart disease). We waste vast amounts of land and food raising animals and only get a fraction of food in return. Not to mention, the harm to the environment that is done by us continually trying to raise and harvest enough animals to keep up with the demand (pollution caused by cattle is an easy one to point to). Either there is a good, logical explanation that I am failing to see or we have just decided that that is a change that is too much effort to make. And to be clear, I am not trying to pass judgment here. While I did decide to go vegan a couple years ago (and then reverted back to just vegetarianism because too many people are fucking assholes towards people who choose to eat differently than them), my wife eats meat, we are raising our kids with meat in their diet, and almost every influential person in history has consumed meat. It is just a fact of life. I am just curious to see what people around these parts think about this. To me it is interesting to reflect on why we expect people in a position of privilege to recognize that privilege and stop "punching down" while we refuse to do the same when it comes to consuming meat. And sorry for another topic like this. I guess I'm just in the mood for uncomfortable debates lately.

That is some particularly bad timing @SecretAsianMan, sorry to hear. As frustrating as those different childhood phases can be and as desperate as you end up feeling when you are sleep deprived and overworked and wondering when you'll ever get a break again, I always thought it was pretty damn cool to see just how much you are truly capable of when you are solely responsible for guiding a little life towards adulthood. That shit is terrifying when you actually stop to think about it! Hang in there man, and cherish every second. They really do grow up way too freaking fast!

Man, I wish I had the solution too. But I know enough now to know that I don't know shit.

Hey Erkki, thanks for sharing all that. Your feelings are eerily similar to where I'm at right now. It feels like so much has changed in just a couple short years and lately I find myself wondering what I'm ultimately trying to accomplish in life. I'm at a point where it's clear that despite reaching most of my life goals and making some important changes in my life, I haven't reached a greater plain of happiness and find myself looking back fondly on the good old days when I had less responsibility and less life clutter. It's funny to think of how much time I've spent looking back at the past fondly, looking towards the future eagerly, and not fully appreciating where I'm at in the moment. Working hard to fix that but Jesus Christ it's hard to stop myself from falling victim to my own internal narrative.

@Roderick, I just had to chime in to say that everything you said is 100% how I feel. I don't know why I've kept Polygon bookmarked, but I've found myself hate reading just about everything they've put out lately. I haven't seen the new Spiderman movie and when I saw that headline I let out an audible "what the fuck Polygon?". Between Ben's super bad takes and trashy articles defending EA's monetization practices in sports games and that "Why I Worship At The Altar Of Crunch" article, it's quite an overwhelming amount of shit. Kotaku's been pretty great though. I could do without the constant "internet reacts" articles but other than that I'm pleased with their output and the hard work they are clearly putting in to produce quality articles. Waypoint doesn't really do it for me with their high ratio of podcast articles and the fact that the slate of articles on their homepage seems to update like once per week.