Important If True

None of this matters. Unless it does.

In an effort to understand the baffling world around us, we take your questions about the most fascinating, inane, and inexplicable happenings you can find, and draw them out to their most extended—and almost definitely inaccurate—conclusions. Join Chris Remo, Jake Rodkin, and Nick Breckon of Idle Thumbs each week as they attempt to find truth and meaning through absurdity. Will they succeed? Probably not, but we'll all enjoy the trip.


Weekly, publishes Thursday.

  • Full Episode Archive
  • Discussion Forum

Episode 6:
Get Hoisted

March 23, 2017 If you could go back to King Arthur times, how would you impress all those medieval idiots? Would you dazzle them with memes? Would they celebrate you, or hoist you? Who's the man, they might ask? Are you the man? Find out, in over 45 minutes of audio content you'll actually want to listen to!

If you enjoyed this and would like to subscribe to an ad-free feed, please consider supporting Idle Thumbs by backing our Patreon.

Discussed: Snapple, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, Credit Human, Egg Cuber, meme dreams, Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones DVD release TV spot, Jeff Goldblum

Jake's Endorsement: Illinois Institute of Technology fight song

Chris' Endorsement: shoe horn (approachable normal sized shoe horn; intimidating weird large shoe horn)

Nick's Endorsement: Hot Winter Hot Sauce

Also: Listen through to the end for a sneak peek at our new true history miniseries, Something True!

Recent Important If True Episodes

More episodes in the Archive

March 16, 2017 Some questions are like an itch you can't scratch, or worse, an itch you can scratch as much as you'd like, but the itch doesn't go away. Today we indulge our compulsions and scratch away at the unscrachable, like: When did George Clooney start showing so much skin? Why does the flu virus really want you to party? And what drew three painters of video game box art to the same back-alley brawl, in the same town, on the same night? We will tread these paths again and again until we discover the truth, or are tricked by our own minds into believing we have. Plus, thanks to a helpful reader, major steps are taken to record for all time the 45 brains that control existence.

If you enjoyed this and would like to subscribe to an ad-free feed, please consider supporting Idle Thumbs by backing our Patreon.

Important Reference Material: self-driving car, self-driving flying car, robots wearing skin, The Terminator, Arnold Schwarzenegger, flu-prompted sociability, Streets of Rage cover art, Close Encounters of the Third Kind (Amazon, iTunes), Steven Spielberg's early career, 45brains.online

Nick's Endorsement: Flonase Allergy Relief (Nick promises this is not a paid endorsement)

Chris' Endorsement: Kitchen salt jar (alternatively: a "salt pig." ugh.)

Jake's Endorsement: Berkeley High School morning announcements

March 9, 2017 The road to the truth can take you through some dangerous places, so keep the windows up, the doors locked, and never, ever get out of the car. Or ignore that advice, and follow us down the truth’s seedier and long-forgotten offramps, in search of the really important questions. Like: What happens when your smart house gets a little too smart? Where do those creepy Chuck E. Cheese pizza robots come from? And why is the society depicted in Pixar's Cars a mockery of the living and the dead?

If you enjoyed this and would like to subscribe to an ad-free feed, please consider supporting Idle Thumbs by backing our Patreon.

Important Reference Materials: Goldblum noises, Smart House, Alexa, Blank Check, The Rock-Afire Explosion, carbohydrillium, Disney•Pixar Cars, popes, geological butts

Chris' Endorsement: Stayfocusd Chrome browser extension

Jake's Endorsement: Logan

Nick's Endorsement: Calling your aunt back; or The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild if you just want to buy something and be a consumer

March 2, 2017 A researcher has determined that by 2025, if you string all our smart devices together—our Amazon Alexas and always-online talking teddy bears, our color-changing light bulbs and remote-controlled doorknobs—they will have the combined thinking power of 45 human brains. But that raises the question: Who exactly are these 45 brains, and what do they want to tell us? Join us as we find the answer or, failing that, make something up.

If you enjoyed this and would like to subscribe to an ad-free feed, please consider supporting Idle Thumbs by backing our Patreon.

Important Reference Materials: Morgan Freeman Turkish Airlines ad, CloudPets hack, Furby, Teddy Ruxpin, children loving Alexa, Alexa making questionable choices, Tomes and Talismans, Tommy Westphall Universe Hypothesis

Chris' Endorsement: The Strange Undoing of Prudencia Hart

Jake's Endorsement: Witness, starring Harrison Ford (iTunes, free on Amazon Prime)

Nick's Endorsement: Finding and frequenting your local neighborhood bar

Your SEO content here!