Important If True

Three friends try and figure everything out.

Three friends try and figure everything out. Join Chris, Jake, and Nick as they delve into the weirdness of life, pop culture, and technology—and do their best to explain it as absurdly as they can. Write in to questions@importantiftrue.com with your own questions and observations.


Weekly, publishes Thursday.

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Episode 23:
To Me, To Me, To Me

July 20, 2017 A podcast of deeply important questions, asked by you, answered by us as truthfully as we can. This week: What is Jeff Goldblum doing in hundreds of the world's bathrooms? If an artificial intelligence is forced to speak English, are its civil rights being compromised? Could the government turn your mother into a ringtone?

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Discussed: being implicitly hoisted by a fellow old person, ringtones, global government regulation of ringtones, Nick Breckon's mother as a ringtone, Google DeepMind AI learning to walk hilariously, new robot-created negotiation language, new Nick Breckon-created worthless storytelling language, baffling robot-created stock image phone cases, cheese wheel on bady, slightly creepy matched father/daughter love jewelry, slightly baffling matched father/father love jewelry, Jeff Goldblum shower curtain, Dr. Sbaitso digital voice assitant, Windows 95 Dragonforce MIDI smart home, "Siri, play Zombocom on every surface"

Send us your questions at questions@importantiftrue.com. If you enjoyed this and would like to subscribe to an ad-free feed, please consider supporting Idle Thumbs by backing our Patreon.

Chris' Endorsement: Travel-related online services Google Flights, TripCase, and Citymapper

Nick's Endorsement: Setting up remote computer control apps like Chrome Remote Desktop or TeamViewer to help your parents with computers

Jake's Endorsement: Graphing the distribution of English letters towards the beginning, middle or end of words

Sponsored By: Quip electric toothbrushes, those little floss picks, those things are great

Shoutout To: Jake (not Rodkin), from Ethan—get your own!

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July 13, 2017 As you bolt upright in bed, head still swimming, are you awake or do are you still in the realm of dreams? And while you're pondering that, consider these conundrums: Which television program is a bigger ratings success: News Tonight or Nooz Tonite? Is she Lump? If so, is she too still in your head? What is the Matrix? Unfortunately, you cannot be told what the Matrix is. You must listen to this podcast about it.

Send us your questions at questions@importantiftrue.com. If you enjoyed this and would like to subscribe to an ad-free feed, please consider supporting Idle Thumbs by backing our Patreon.

Discussed: Air Bud for a moment, The Matrix, The Matrix: Where Do the Pills Come From?, E-Ink image-displaying dress, multi-dimensional constant meme cycler, intentionally misspelled Nielsen-defrauding TV show names, segue, seg, chaos, "Lump" by the Presidents of the United States of America, mild pointless revenge, becoming the worldwide average, paranoia, neuroses, conspiracies, 99% Invisible podcast episode "On Average," that weird sound we all make nowadays, 4x optical zoom, Schneider lens, photo printer, SD card, look at that horse

Chris' Endorsement: Dry goods canisters for your kitchen pantry
Jake's Endorsement: 17776: What football will look like in the future by Jon Bois
Nick's Endorsement: SpyMeSat satellite photography/surveillance app (iOS, Android)

Sponsored By: Quip electric toothbrushes, Casper mattresses and bedding

July 7, 2017 There are more questions, problems, and conundrums out there than can possibly be addressed in a lifetime, but we're doing our part, starting with these: Why did someone hide a room full of monkeys out in the desert, and what are the monkeys inside the room hiding from us? Would you impress your friends with a third thumb, or just sit at home wishing for a fourth one? Is that bee really lashing out because it smells your fear, or is it just put off you didn't consider its feelings? Join us as we chip away at the truth, until we hit pay dirt, or rock bottom, whichever comes first.

Send us your questions at questions@importantiftrue.com. If you enjoyed this and would like to subscribe to an ad-free feed, please consider supporting Idle Thumbs by backing our Patreon.

Discussed: weird Arizona monkey farm, armed clown monkeys coming to steal your guns, extra prosthetic thumb, extra prosthetic thumb guitar lord, Star Wars brain-powered force trainer toy, AI-monitored money game show, our social contract with bees, Bee Movie, sinking into a chair, Jumanji, Jumanji-ing yourself into a board game, Jumanji-ing yourself into a painting, Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

Chris' Endorsement: The Big Sick

Jake's Endorsement: Supermute for Twitter

Nick's Endorsement: Maangchi Korean cooking YouTube series

Sponsored By: Quip electric toothbrushes, Warby Parker prescription eyeglasses and sunglasses

June 30, 2017 If you had the ultimate power of suggestion over your friends, but only when mumbling while pretending to sleep, how would you use it? Will a coterie of highly specialized Christmas spirits put Santa out of a job? Why die alone on Mars when you can watch someone else do it from your living room couch? Answers to these questions and the rest of life's mysteries, coming to your theater this summer.

Send us email at questions@importantiftrue.com. If you enjoyed this and would like to subscribe to an ad-free feed, please consider supporting Idle Thumbs by backing our Patreon.

Discussed: Highly-specialized Krampuses, Yule Cat, Salad Fingers, Krampus, the Yuliverse (Yuleniverse?), moving to Mars, getting Truman Show'd on Mars, years-long sleeptalking deception, food genie apocalypse

Jake's Endorsement: OBi200 1-Port VoIP Phone Adapter to turn a Google Voice account into a real landline

Chris' Endorsement: Field Notes Reporter's Notebooks

Nick's Endorsement: Bon Appetit's cooking series It's Alive with Brad

Sponsored By: Hover domain name registration, Quip electric toothbrushes

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