Maximillian Payne: Part Trois

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So today I found two bucks under my couch, so I thought I'd buy some Max Payne 3 DLC. Specifically the one that lets you use their terrible Max Payne 1 player model in multiplayer.


What I wasn't expecting is they recorded new dialogue just for that DLC. It turns out, they took a bunch of lines from Max's inner monologue in the first two games and made him scream the same lines at his opponents. It is incredible and awful and surreal and amazing. Flying through the air, I kill three dudes. Max screams "AS SURELY AS THE BULLET RIPS THROUGH THE VICTIM'S FLESH, ORGAN AND BONE, IT SHATTERS THE IMAGE OF THE MAN WHO PRESSES THE TRIGGER!!!!"

It felt like a Thumbs joke.

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I bought this game at some point, and since I recently read GTA V will take some cues from the combat in Max Payne 3, I thought I'd give it a whirl. Man, what a obnoxious game. The idiotic dialogue, incessant xtreme video effects and dialogue pop-ups are just the worst. It's like watching the Parks and Recreations intro on a loop. I hope GTA V doesn't take too many pages from Max Payne 3's metaphorical book.

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