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Intrepid Homoludens

"The Chance Undone"

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The Chance Undone

"So, how is it that you know Eric?"

"He introduced himself at the Zand Bar, while I was minding my own business."

"Sounds more like he intruded."

"Oh, I didn’t mean to insinuate such. It’s just that I often have drinks alone. I do some of my best thinking that way. Eric mistook my brown study for a blue funk, so he tried to cheer me up, which is what so many strangers do."

"I never knew he was colour blind. But it sounds like he was merely being a Good Samaritan."

"I never think of it that way. At least, not in a bar."

"I’m sorry. But, you know, my being his best friend, I feel a certain duty to try and present him in a better light."

"Well, it was a dimly lit bar."

"Ahihi, that was a good one. But, if you don’t mind my being frank, how can you think so clearly in a bar, with a couple of drinks down, and more distractingly, with all these attractive people hanging around? Wouldn’t your mind function better at a cafe, or better yet, at home?"


"Unh...care to explain?"

"Well, if you insist..."

"I’m not being insistent. I’m merely being curious."

"Well, if you insist on being curious. Somehow my mind is less inhibited, less constrained, when I have a drink. Soothing, you know? I needn’t worry about the cares of the day, at least for the time being. So, I can let my thoughts wander, and maybe figure some things out. I’ve solved a few little problems in my life over a couple of martinis."

"Problems such as....?"

"Oh, nosy, aren’t we? Or what was that word you used? ‘Curious’."

"Hey, calm down! I was just trying to get to know you a little better. Don’t be so defensive."

"Choose your adjectives carefully, my dear. I don’t consider explanation of something I feel strongly about to be defense. One is not the other."

"Okay, okay. Whatever you say. Sorry I asked in the first place. Geez!"

"I’m sorry. That was rude of me. But really, I am in a certain mode of...guardedness. Not about the reasons I come here, but about the immediate consequences of my being here."

"Apology accepted. But what do you mean by ‘immediate consequences’?

"Well, you mentioned it as part of your inquisition. That there are all these attractive types walking around while I sit alone thinking."

"Oh, so you are distracted --"

"Hey, may I finish?"

"Sorry. Do go one, please."

"As soon as you’re done snickering.... Are you done yet?"

"Wait. I feel one more coming... There, done."

"Jeezus. Anyway, that’s the main caveat I have to deal with every time I’m here, or the Zand Bar, or any other place. These strangers keep coming up and telling me I shouldn’t be so sad. ‘Smile honey, it can’t be that bad’, ‘Don’t worry, there’s a better one here in front of you’. And what was that one line? Oh, yes: ‘I’ll make you a deal. You give me a big smile and I buy you a body slam!’ "

"Ha ha ha ha! I like that one. Why didn’t I come up with it? Unh...sorry."

"So, that’s the score."

"And you know the score. So why even bother to come here to do your thinking when you know people are gonna hit on you? Sounds like self-inflicted punishment to me."

"Not really. It’s happened so many times that I just got used to it. In this type of establishment you learn to take the good with the cad."

"Ah ha ha ha! That was really good! But seriously, I have to be honest with you. You are very attractive. You shouldn’t take it so personally when someone tries to talk to you. Or maybe you should, for your own good."


"Aw, for Chrissakes! Don’t even start to get tense with me. You damn well know that no one’s gonna bother you if you were ugly, or even plain. Get that into your thick pretty head!"

"That was a compliment, wasn't it?"

"Oh... Yeah, I think. I didn't mean it to sound --"

"I liked that. I've never heard of that one before. Thank you."


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