* DEEP THOUGHTS * by Jack Handy

[ThePope]

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em

go, because, man, they're gone.

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something

when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you

give me a hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

If you lived in the Dark Ages and you were a catapult operator, I

bet the most common question people would ask is, "Can't you make it

shoot farther?" "No, I'm sorry. That's as far as it shoots."

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the

mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without

hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd

never expect it.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

[Roderick]

That's deep

[Kode]

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without

hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd

never expect it.

[Skinkie]

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without

hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd

never expect it.

.....Canada?