Twig

I don't think it's possible to see it any other way. Re: the contentious thing from two episodes ago: The only thing I'm worried about is the ending. Everything up until now has been great for me.

Uh, as I understand it, Riddick is more a follow-up of Pitch Black than Chronicles. But, as I said, never seen either, so don't really know.

What the hell. This is interesting to me, as Chinese Dota is a much safer game, all about farming until you're absolutely sure you won't lose a fight.

Wokka wokka!

I've almost finished up Stargate: Atlantis. I was reading customer reviews for the last season out of idle curiosity, and saw this choice quote: "The series ends with the last 2 eps." Huh. Whoddathunk. Also, I saw Riddick yesterday because my friends refuse to ever invite me to movies that aren't stupid action movies. Starbuck (that character everyone loves from Battlestar Galactica) plays a major role as a lesbian tomboy sex object for both the main bad guy and the main character. I mean, yep. You get to see her nipples, too! Or was it just one nipple. I don't remember. Yep. I actually really liked the movie as a stupid action movie but that character was um. Number one reason I liked it: it's not about some can-do-no-wrong-do-gooder-goodie-two-shoes Space Hero saving the universe. It's just about a fucked up dude getting fucked up on a weird planet. I would never defend it as a good movie, though. It's pretty indefensible. I can't really say there's anything good about it. Just that... I came away satisfied? Also I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. Also the more I think about it the more I hate it. And yeah Doll (oh, I forgot to mention her name, before - it's "Doll") is kind of straight up offensive to anyone with taste. I think her first line - or at least the first I remember, the first of note - was, "I don't fucks guys, but I fuck 'em up if I need to." Or something like that. don't remember the exact phrasing. YEP. YYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPP. Don't see Riddick. I've never seen either of this movie's predecessors (or played the game(s?). I'm told that Pitch Black is supposed to be really good. I find that hard to believe, somehow, after having seen Riddick. Seriously if they got rid of Doll, I bet I could actually find specific things about the movie that I liked, but every time I try, all I remember is Doll. I guess it worked.

I remember guessing my dad's password in Duke Nukem 3D to unlock MATURE CONTENT. I don't even have tentacles coming out of my face!

Oh hey I have probably linked this artist in here before but I'm doing it again because I still love it. The music is sort of melancholic but also happy. I DUNNO. I listen to it a lot when I'm just walking around.

Yes.

That happens to me every time I stare at "string" for a while. There are others that have bothered me in the past, but that's the one I always remember. Also goddamn I can hear the exact inflections of Green and Purple Tentacle as I read those lines. FUCK I love DOTT. On the one hand, I'm sad Disney will probably never, ever let it out of the LucasArts vault they now own. On the other hand, it's probably for the best. My memories of that game are way too good to let New Games tarnish them.

I remember watching that movie a lot as a kid. I don't remember anything about it. I've added it to my queue and will watch it probably this weekend. I'm so excited!

Yes sir. Sorry sir. It'll never happen again sir.

Welp. I'm playing DOTT again. Gonna start it up tomorrow.

AHHHH my favorite.

I will passively volunteer to take one of Murdoc's keys, but only if really no one else wants it (and one is still even available). Doubt I'd get to it for a while, but I am interested in it. I guess I should've PM'd, now that I think about it. I'm the worst!

Excellent, I'm checking that out now. I finished up Nightvale about two weeks ago and damnit the biweekly schedule makes me sad. though I just saw that Earbud Theater's schedule is even worse. Ah well. Still checking it out! EDIT: Dang where's the RSS feed? ): EDIT EDIT: Dang I found one but it won't plug into iTunes podcast management like I want it to.

I've already sent fourteen envelopes.

ha ha what is happening here I'm honestly not sure if I'm comfortable downing drugs for an interview. I don't mind drinking to relieve the pressure of social interactions, but in those cases I'm ALLOWED to be a little goofy and way unprofessional (or so I tell myself). I'm intentionally letting loose. But to do it for an interview? The thought makes me feel weird. Not that I'm against it or anything, I'm not at all, but for me, personally, in a sense, I'm losing control of myself if I opt for that. At any rate, that aside, I think all the moaning I did about it yesterday helped! SOMETIMES I GOTTA WHINE. I'm in a better mood today. Just finished a programming test, too, and it felt pret-ty goooood. Plus it was a friend of mine who got me in with that company. I'm hoping that'll work in my favor if they decide to continue the process.

Damn I saw that art you posted and was suddenly way more interested in Netrunner. Then I read the text. ): That art is perfect.

Damn, that's a lot of details. I remembered a dream last night, too, and I think you'll find it just as disturbing, if not MORE SO. I was peeing and realized that EVERYTHING WAS BACKING UP the faucet the bathtub even the toilet, even though I hadn't flushed. But I had to finish peeing, so I kept doing so even as the peewater reached my ankles in depth. Then I flushed the toilet, which MADE THINGS A MILLION TIMES WORSE. I screamed to my mom, "Hey, everything's clogged!" After I washed my hands (???), I left the bathroom, and my brother (who in real life is younger than me, but in this dream was older than me) went in at KNEE-DEPTH to grab some clothes he'd left on the back of the toilet for some reason. Also none of the pisswater ever left the bathroom, even when the door was open. THE. END. what the fuck, brain

YEAH. Anyway, I'm done complaining about it. I'm not usually such a negative person! Though I often pretend to be because it amuses me. Whatever. Something'll work out eventually.

There's not much to look at. I'm aware I'm a shitty interviewee, as much as I try. I mean, there's not much more I can do. I'm a nervous individual by habit, and being forced to try to sell myself as some product just amplifies that habit a thousandfold. I try, and fail, and try, and fail. Even that is weird, to me. If you asked me after each of these interviews, I'd say "Yeah, it felt good! I'm feeling good!" And then later, I get another rejection. So what am I doing wrong? I'm polite, I act interested (and sometimes AM interested), I answer questions as thoroughly and clearly as I can, I ask as many questions as I can. There's something wrong with ME, I guess, that is off-putting to the majority of people I interview with. I can't fake it anymore than I already am, and if that's not enough, I have nothing else. Honestly, as each year goes by, I regret more and more my choice to get a degree in computer science. I like programming, but given how competitive the field is, I'm apparently not up to the task. I should've gone with something else. Like, I dunno, zoology, or something.

I've got a year of experience (in mobile, which is where most of my applications go even though I have zero interest in mobile, just because that's where most of my recruiters go!), as well as a master's. I often fumble when given whiteboard questions, but I figure it out eventually, and I used to think I communicated my thought process well. Maybe I don't. Also I should clarify, I haven't had 30 interviews. I've had 30 rejections. Some are just non-responses, some are "hey let's do an introductory phone conversation" after which I get no further response, so I don't blame myself for those. I've gotten into technical interviews with about 10 companies, I'd say. Some more in-depth than others. Only one on-site interview so far, one more coming up. But it's still depressing. I mean I'm just in a negative mood right now because all the rejection is starting to get to me. The phone interview I had yesterday felt like it went well, but because I could barely understand the guy, I think that came off as me not knowing my shit, somehow? I mean, I was constantly apologizing like "Yeah, I'm sorry, I can barely understand you," and the guy said in the beginning he was using speakerphone (why why whyyyy would you do that ever). We got through the basic "do you know what programming is!" questions, and I answered them as I thought he wanted them answered - seriously some of the questions he asked I only caught half the words he actually said. Then there was the "let me watch you program!" moment, and i flew threw that pretty quickly, at which point he was like "we're done!" It was supposed to last an hour, and I finished in half an hour. Last time I did that, it was with the company I got my first job, and it felt great. But this one didn't pan out, I guess. It's hard to sound confident when you can't understand half of what the guy says without him repeating it two or three or even four times. i HATE phones I'm mostly just mad about this last interview. I just had a LIGHT BULB moment on the test I'm working on. Hopefully I can finish it in time. It's due today! I should be fine, or I wouldn't be taking this short break to type this out.

You say all that, Thrik, but it doesn't really mean anything, I'm sorry to say. I'm aware I need to exude confidence, I'm aware I need to have an attractive personality, and I try and try and try and time and time and time again I'm told to fuck off, so it leaves me wondering why do I even bother, at this point. Over 30 companies/recruiters have told me no or just stopped contacting me in the past month and a half. I've got four potential leads left. One of which I'm probably going to fuck up, because the programming test is sorta difficult - I'm working on it right now - and by difficult I mean I can do it, but perhaps not in the most efficient way. One of which I will literally hate if I have to work there. One of which I have an on-site interview next week, so that's probably my best bet at this point. One of which I don't really know, but based on the previous 30, why should I be optimistic? I'm very good at pretending to be excited, or at least I thought I was, but I'm ready to give up at this point. I know I'm a good programmer, but it doesn't matter if no one wants to give me a chance. If all four of these fail me, I have nothing left besides waiting for yet another recruiter to link me to yet another dead end. And moving back to Ohio to live with my parents.

I always wanted an adventure game featuring the TF2 characters. ...I suppose a similar game featuring the Dota 2 characters would be just as hilarious.

Another rejection! I thought the phone interview this morning went well, except for NOT BEING ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE GUY ON THE PHONE AT ALL, WHICH PROBABLY MADE A POOR IMPRESSION, THANKS PHONE INTERVIEWS YOU'RE THE BEST FUCKING THING. People tell me "just be confident". How the hell am I supposed to be confident if everyone keeps telling me I'm not good enough?