Armchair General

Dan is on the right track except for the burst of alcohol bit. The absorption of water would happen in parallel with alcohol not in tandem. Alcohol is metabolised at a steady rate with the mechanism being easily saturated; hence drunkeness ensues after a couple of drinks or so. What probably happened is that you consumed a level of drunkeness over a relatively short period. Initially, your body could metabolise the alcohol that you were absorbing but was falling behind all the time. Alongside this, you would have felt pretty much ok until such point that you reached the point of 'feeling' drunk. Because you were now intoxicated, yet not absolutely smashed, but still had lots more alcohol in your belly to absorb and poison your cerebellum (the brain bit that controls coordination) and cerebral hemipsheres (your memory comes in here) the level of drunkeness would be shooting up per unit of time. Thus, when you went out to walk home, your pissed level is increasing all the time and became too much for your body to handle and you effectively became too intoxicated to function. Your body would be metabolising the alcohol as fast as it could, so after a while of being shot to fuck, your alcohol level would drop and you would recover enough to function, albeit not at 100%. In short, your drunkeness would have been creeping up on you all the time, but manifested itself in a seemingly fast fashion. Your full recovery the next day would no doubt be due to your youthful constitution at the time. I'm sure everyone has heard old codgers say that hangovers are much worse when you are older. This is because their bodies are less able to deal with the effects of the alcoholic insult than a younger body. All the other things Dan said can affect your sensitivity to alcohol and may have been in play too. My top tip for when you are pissed? Make up a pint of water, add a pinch of salt and a small handful of sugar. The sugar and salt molecules combine together and are absorbed by the gut. Their absorption draws water into the gut via osmosis. This is the basis of oral rehydration therapy. I hope this explains your symptoms a little. If you have any further questions, I am always willing to answer them!

Is there a game that does come with one of these? If so, I want it.

I think he is one big giant disgusting thing.... P.S Where you been in BC2 Brikkle, Burkle, Bruckikiklkl, BURK.

I would love for the Swedes to invade the UK...especially the lady Swedes.

Madness is better shared Drumski

I have to say that I found the plot and voice acting in the SC2 demo crap to say the least. Mediocre game imho too.

I remember writing all those insults down on paper so I could win that segment...good game:tup: Come to think of it, I often write things down on paper to help me. The last time was playing Fallout 3. I mapped out the subway system. Is it just me, or does anyone else do this?!

I am rubber you are glue!

I recovered to a more advantageous/face saving position than you. Be honest.

We have little control over who we cover with our...err...recovery. As Englishmen, we are prone to foreign based gaffes

Mine wasn't as bad as yours.

It's my birthday on the 25th. I am only telling you in advance so you can save your money and buy me a ginormous humungosaurus present. Ok?

I was trying to say that the doctor who said that to you was probably wrong, rather than saying you were a douche for repeating it, if you see what I mean! I didn't mean to be rude

As a doctor in training and a natural pedant, I find it a little unlikely that the shock caused your osteophytic growth. More likely that it was coincidence or inflammation caused by the shock brought the growth to light. The nervous pathway from ring finger to ninth vertebrae is convoluted to say the least and is certainly not absolute. I'm glad it got sorted for you though. Constant back pain is NO fun at all.

Nice recovery James

Really? I failed to see the funny side, the whiney voice ruins the tiny speck of humour there may have been. Shall I crawl back into the grumpy cave now?

Gross out tale No 1. Last Friday, I wiped the most foul smelling, chunder laden diarrhoae you could ever hope to imagine, from the feet, hands, legs, bumcrack, cock, balls and abdomen of an alcoholic man in his 50's. I did all this inside his stinky flat, using tissue from the ambulance whilst avoiding touching his grossly deformed and multiply fractured left femur and pelvis (sustained in a fall). I then had to spend the next 30 mins inside the ambulance with the heaters on because he was cold, thereby circulating the pungent aroma (why of course, he had pooed again) at a temperature just right for maximum nostril assault. This is one tale of many. Soon I will tell you about another drunk lady, a lazy GP and a genital inspection. Next, I will tell you the story about an farmer and his enormous haemorrhaging scrotum, filled with ischaemic bowel, then I could tell you about the drunk with leaking oesophageal varices, next the.......I REMAIN CONFIDENT OF VICTORY:tup: EDIT: I forgot to say that eating goat bollocks and cockroaches is pretty feckin' awful too Those knee injuries are lame, show me some real blood and guts!

Is Blood Meridian easier to read than the Border Trilogy in your opinion Squidley?

I was just about to say that.

I am confident of outgrossing all comers on this thread. Diarrhoae ftw +100.

I thought as much. You give him ONE compliment and it goes straight to his head.

Leave off hackerz! Errr..does it matter or are you just being rude?

Oh! Humour! Joker

I hope they weren't planning on having a baby in the near future.

On a similar note, I read about this chap who sort of double conned the Nigerian email scammer into reading childrens books into a tape recorder, ever promising to send him heaps of cash for doing it. Surprisingly, the scammer just kept coming back for more as he had spent out £200 for tape recording equipment and was desperate to recoup his outlay. The tapes were hilarious. I will endeavour to find the link as I realise this anecdote is crap without them