mikemariano

Wow, I actually have no idea where that is... ...ack, a Google search has revealed too much! I seriously must have played less than half of what this game has to offer.

Wow, did I really say that way back in May of last year? I'm still trying to do this, as I've completed very few Broken Steel quests and haven't even started Point Lookout. Right now I'm working on a main game quest (Head Of State) I had no idea even existed until now. I'm told to go back into DC, so I figure, "I need to sleep! I'll go to Rivet City and rest in my hotel room before starting this quest." Instead, I kept dying along the way. Areas I cleared out less than a day ago are now crawling with Super Mutants and Enclave soldiers. On my fourth attempt to get back to Rivet City, I made it! I walked up the gangplank and—my game froze. A genuine crash in an Xbox game! Ah, Fallout; don't ever change.

Meanwhile, over in Rock, Paper, Shotgun land, Quintin Smith extolls the co-op Anarchy mode that the demo doesn't show off at all. You're supposed to use teamwork to rack up combo kills! Meanwhile, the computer controlled teammates of the demo never once assisted me in a kill. Once fighting broke out they were often on a separate part of the map entirely. So I was obviously doing something wrong.

If you're a lowly Xbox gamer like me, you can download the Bulletstorm demo, see that it's unexceptional, and delete it—all in one evening! I have no desire to click on whatever the above manufactured controversy might be.

Rock, Paper, Shotgun just blessed us with a flurry of Deus Ex: Human Revolution information. There isn't much to it beyond a "so far, so good" vibe, but I like that Alec and Quintin stress that the opening setting feels like a functioning place. I hope the spell of that won't be broken by me hopping all over the place!

Hmmmmm, I've only played Portal on the Xbox, and I was sure Valve was "massaging" those jumps for me. "You don't really have enough momentum to make that jump, you silly console gamer. You're also aiming the wrong way!" But maybe Valve gave everybody that gimme...

See, I was all psyched for retro levels: "All right; enough of this squirt gun! Let's do some traditional Mario platforming!" But the flow never worked out for me. It was always a slow, Grundy process that went like this. Jump across a platform of death. Reposition the camera. Wait forever to make the next jump. Die anyway. That's not a Mario tradition I want to celebrate. That said, I'm interested in the wider variety of goals in Mario 64. That might be fun. I have a Classic Controller so I have no excuse not to buy it. Thanks!

I took this picture at the Hallmark Store over the weekend: HOORAY FOR YOU

I beat Super Mario Sunshine last night. The game was fun even though the developers made some horrendous design decisions. Sunshine requires you to beat seven out of eight levels in order in every world. Unlike Galaxy, where you just have collect stars from whatever level you want, most of Sunshine's levels are mandatory. This structure becomes intolerable in combination with the "retro levels" filled with bottomless pits galore and terrible camera angles. That fake a cappella version of the Super Mario Bros. theme will haunt my memory forever. Those can be game-killing flaws, but the game had enough Mario goodness for me. QUESTIONS: As far as I can tell, Sunshine's Shine totals mean nothing. Is it worth trying to get more or all of them? Also, should I bother to play Super Mario 64?

You are being incredibly generous, JonCole; there were many measured, reasoned responses to his review and reaction, but he'd rather wallow in his hurt feelings. He doesn't apply any critical thinking in his role as a critic, and he doesn't seem to want to. I am wholeheartedly glad that this review generated a backlash. Superficial reviews are worthless as criticism. It's past time that readers demanded more! I much prefer long-form, broader-scope criticism. One insane example is the Final Fantasy XIII review on Action Button. The review goes into fanatical detail about the battle system---the only novel thing about FFXIII, and therefore, the only thing worth talking about. Miller doesn't care about detail. He says thinks like, "Isaac talks now, but it works." Can you tell us why it works, Greg? Take your lumps, do your homework, and bring across some meaning in your writing!

I played Blade Runner before seeing the movie, which sounds weird, but it worked just fine for me. I knew there were references to the movie that I wasn't getting, but it didn't get in the way of the game's story. The film infamously had a voice-over forced upon it, which made an awkward fit and was ultimately removed in later versions. The game committed to a voice-over up front, and it took full advantage of that pulpier style.

The answer, of course, is "yes". Come to think of it, I really would like a mainstream publication to publish a preview that shows nothing but dread and contempt for an upcoming game. We're good at that on message boards! Just look at the skepticism we've thrown at Th435f, Bioshock Infinite, etc. And mainstream publications have reported minor controversies like Diablo III artwork. But we can do better. Start simply; have Joystiq do a pre-hate preview of something like an upcoming Farmville clone, something no one anticipates loving. Then move on to the big guns! Most previews bring developers and journalists together, sharing their dreams for gaming---and dreaming big. It's better to crush those dreams sooner rather than later!

Holy cow those comments are brutal. The review is credited to one Greg Miller, a journalism school graduate and longtime editor at IGN. There's really no excuse for his terrible, terrible review.

I will likely play the demo for Duke Nukem Forever over and over again, and maybe buy the full game years after it comes out. Since this is exactly what I did for Duke Nukem 3D, I can't say that's a bad thing.

Somehow you must have missed 2007 GOTY contender Shadowrun. Some G4-affiliated site summed things up accurately last week: The secret word here is co-op. Although, I wonder if it's possible to improvise a Portal deathmatch by carrying turrets everywhere and running towards your partner.

"People saying 'Amazing' a lot!" -- IGN.com "You'll have to work harder for love from your kitten." -- IGN.com

Captain Fish is right about this one. Pipe Dream isn't a bad game, but it takes up so much time. I'd much rather play the scratch-off lottery of System Shock 2. Another issue with hacking is the reward. Bioshock makes you play a long, tedious game of Pipe Dream just so you can get the "staff discount" for the vending machine. There's no sense that you have any real access to the system. Fallout 3 and (see the 2:50 mark) do the best job in making the player feel like you have control over an entire system.Fallout 3 also offered some good excuses for why certain computer options didn't work. "Whoops! That option is unavailable due to nuclear apocalypse."

AKA: Six months before Valve will even comment on Half-Life 2: Episode 3. Irrational and 2K Marin need to develop their own version of Valve Time. Why deliver your games in a timely fashion? Why announce 2011 and 2012 release date goals for Xcom and Bioshock Infinite? Sure, those are broad targets and there's no reason to think they'll slip, but why not take pleasure in watching your fans grow old and die as they wait for your product? Xcom in 2018!

Wow, I've never played this game, but its creepy cover art has been permanently grafted onto my brain.

Is that really Samus Aran? It looks more like what's-her-face from Parasite Eve. Is there any way that Metroid: Other M isn't painful to play?

I beat Luigi's Mansion tonight. It was really cute, albeit short. Except for that last boss battle! Remember how frustrated Sombre and Rodi got because of the boss battle in Zelda: Spirit Tracks? I lucked out and beat that boss my first time through, but I felt the same frustration with the boss battle in Luigi's Mansion. The boss takes away way too many hearts with each hit, and there's no way to regenerate them. With unbreakable combo hits, Luigi could be easily dead in a minute and a half. It's also obnoxiously long to restart the boss battle each time you die. It took me three to five minutes each time just to work my way through the mansion and cut scenes to the start of the battle. And I timed it, my successful attempt to beat the boss took only 2:44—the boss battle was shorter than it ever took me to reach him in the first place! None of you need to care about my annoyance with a ten year old game, though. Instead, enjoy this video I took of Toad performing lewd acts on Luigi. Because I am immature. 4vdINYWtd6w

"Wrex is awesome. He's like your best bro, but he has four testicles, therefore he is better than any other bro you could have." -- IGN.com (Not IGN. It's a GameSpot user comment, but it made me smile.)

One of the last things I did in 2010 was beat Mass Effect 2 on Insanity, thereby completing every achievement the game has to offer. That's quite enough Mass Effect for me until the next game comes out. And, er, instead of playing games I've purchased and haven't played, like Sam & Max Season Two, Metroid Prime Trilogy, or the Fallout 3 DLC, I instead went to Gamestop and bought Luigi's Mansion, Super Mario Sunshine, and Bully. My mission is to complete all of these games before Deus Ex: Human Revolution comes out.

Don't feel bad, Drath; you're exactly right about this. I 100%-ed the original Yoshi's Island , but didn't bother playing the DS version to perfection. I can live with that; it was still a fun game. And the phrase "baby-specific puzzles" should apply to more games.

Hey, there's a Starcraft II demo out! Is it worth it to give Blizzard all of my personal information and play it if I didn't like any of their previous games? I did play through the Warcraft and Warcraft II demos years ago, so that's something, I guess.