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Everything posted by Shakesbeard

  1. [PROTOTYPE] In Stores Today!

    Prototype is a third-person action game developed by Vancouver’s Radical Entertainment (of Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction fame) that features fluid parkour inspired movement and visceral comba- oh fuck it. Prototype is out TODAY (on 360 and PS3) you bastards! Have you played Ultimate Destruction? If you answered yes, then high five brother! You’ll be able to jump in and start kicking ass (and face, and tank, and helicopter...) no problem! From the looks of things the controls are almost identical to UD and that is a damn good thing! If you answered no, then what the hell is wrong with you? It was one of the best action games of the last generation, horribly overlooked by most fans of the genre, and four years after its release runs in sweet sweet 720p (I think) on your Xbox 360! Play it and love it while you weep that you could have been playing it for the last four years you heathen! Lets take a quick look at Prototype: You can shapeshift, assuming the form of any human in the game. Wanna be a bloodthirsty granny who runs up skyscrapers and elbow drops tanks? Fuckin’ do it! Absorbing people doesn’t just give you a neat new skin and some health, it will also unlock new abilities as you gain the knowledge of your consumed foes. Chomp on an artillery commander and call down air strikes! Scarf down an APC driver and you’ll be able to hijack and drive tanks and such! Tear dudes apart! You can form bigass claw hands, a motherfuckin blade arm, some kinda freaky tentacle whip business, all in your pursuit to paint the town red (…with blood I bet). Open world! Omg! Blitz through NYC taking on a variety of side missions for evolution points (guess what they’re for) and when you get tired of ruining people’s days, actually play a mission or something! But don't worry, the world outside of missions actually looks like fun, since causing a ruckus will call out elite strike teams to slap you down for added carnage! I don’t want to ruin the surprise of the movelist in this game but whatever, it’s FUCKING HUGE. Like, do a story mission and unlock 20 upgrades to buy huge. You can surf on bodies. Surf. On bodies. In the streets of New York. In a business suit (if you want). If this sounds like a shill, fuck you! I'm just excited! Seriously, just watch this video and lets all get excited about some killin’ (or, derail and make vague comparisons to inFamous) "Top Ten Reasons Prototype is totally badass and amazing" -
  2. Red Dead Redemption

    Sad, but most likely true. I just want to scuffle in a saloon dammit! Let me sock a guy in the gut and drag him down the length of a bar! (wishful thinking) Patters! Life caught up with me and limited my use of the internet for a while, good to see you though. If your sig is telling the truth we should hit up some Dawn of War II co-op sometime.
  3. Red Dead Redemption

    I'd really like to see what melee combat looks like. On another note, I can't wait to spend days hunting in the wilderness, bringing back memories of buffalo extinction in the Oregon Trail.
  4. Trine

    Curses! Drat! Damn it all! When will I see Trine on my Microbox Full Rotation?
  5. Comics

    Don't get too attached to the Ultimates, it goes to shit pretty quickly after the second or third TPB (if I remember correctly...). People seem to be divided over Planet Hulk, but I liked it. The way it's tied into the events of Civil War and seeing everyone sorta backed into a corner when it comes down to figuring out what to do with this walking wrecking ball is pretty interesting. We3 is excellent and illustrated by Frank Quitely, so if you like it then that's just one more reason to check out All-Star Superman (same creative team, seriously, I'll keep suggesting this to you until I die ).
  6. Comics

    Well it looks like we have similar tastes (aside from Transmet, which boggles the mind...) so I'd imagine you'll have a pretty good time. Based on the classic superhero stories comment, I'd start with All Star Superman, as it fits the bill perfecty.
  7. "Shoot the scoop and you'll get a wizard points award of 50M. Whether there was intended to be a wizard mode or not we don't know, but for now that's all you get for all your hard work."
  8. Street Fighter IV

    Right there with you, my best friend used to roll with Dee Jay/Guile when we played SF, Eddy when we played Tekken, and a combo of Raiden/Baraka when we played MK. I have a natural bias against those characters thanks to him. Also, they have to save something for Super Street Fighter IV: Hyper Fighting/New Challengers/Turbo Alternative Edition
  9. Oh my god, it's like toblix enjoys kicking your sandcastle!
  10. Brütal Legend overload...!

    I really like Scott Campbell's illustration style. He also does a daily (!) comic on the Doublefine website.
  11. Street Fighter IV

    No Dudley yet, but hey
  12. Comics

    You can't go wrong with the Batman classics like A Long Halloween, The Killing Joke, The Dark Knight Returns and Year One. My personal favorite is Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth, mainly because I think Dave McKean is the fucking man and I'm a sucker for Morrison's writing. There have been two trades released so far, so you should definitely track down All Star Superman. When I was big into reading comics a little while ago it was one of my favorites, and Morrison has a certain reverence toward the character that shines through even as he breaks him down to his base properties. It's outside of DC continuity, meaning that issue one really is issue one, and you won't have to worry about getting caught up on some crazy backstory. I hear the new Green Lantern series is pretty solid as well (Rebirth I think?). If you're looking for something lighthearted to break things up a bit, I found Warren Ellis' Nextwave to be pretty refreshing (maybe a little too jokey for you though). Oh god, more Ellis...I know it's not a capes book, but have you read Transmetropolitan? Nach recommended Planetary (seconded, it's great) and it reminded me of another awesome Ellis work. It's the sort of suggestion that someone always makes in these kinda threads, so I feel kinda silly, but I do feel like everyone should read at least the first TPB.
  13. So.. Batman: Arkham Asylum

    Played a bunch more last night, got the and chuckled to myself when Bats explained to Oracle , he really does think of everything! The fight was entertaining enough, a little more variety would've been nice though. I lost on my first try and was treated to a nice nod to the Batman fiction, Really enjoying the exploration aspect of things and the combat has really started to open up. Cycling though regular strikes while trying to get crits, stunning with the cape, reversals, quick batarang throws, it all feels really tight and...I dunno, smart, if that makes sense. Looking forward to running into again, hoping that it retains a puzzle vibe versus just another combat situation. (sorry, my post looks like a military document, I just don't want to ruin even the smallest thing for anyone who hasn't played yet...)
  14. Scribblenauts

    Jesus christ, can't we just ride pterodactyls and be happy?
  15. The All New XBox Gamertag Exchange Thread!

    Who are you? What do you play? Give us something to work with man!
  16. The beginning of this 'cast made me sad. I really hope there's a dialogue option in ME2 to tell the generic 90's in-your-face experiment girl to fuck off. Or perhaps I can shoot her in the face? Ugh, just thinking about the things she says makes me angry and kinda sick feeling. "NOW who's the badass biotic...bitch" "Joined a cult...kept the haircut" "and some of them are for *bleep* YOU" *fingers crossed for Susan Greene, well-mannered experiment gone horribly right, with whom I can chill on our spaceship between missions and sip tea*
  17. Half-Minute Hero

    I love the humor in this game, it really looks like a love letter to old school rpgs, with knowing winks in the dialogue and presentation. I'd heard of it from a friend but the QL totally sold me on it (as always).
  18. The sad sad tale of Tim Langdell

    Well, you see Erkki, all precedents begin as dreams dreamt by a wizard. If the wizard crosses the path of a scorned widow then he shares it at the town council. Now it is a hypothesis and it’s time to drown the wizard. If he floats he is an evil wizard and must be burned alive. If he drowns then the hypothesis is true. The king is told and he consults with his menagerie of birds. If the king is satisfied then it becomes a precedent and law is once more advanced.
  19. Street Fighter IV

    Oh that is too good to be true. "IS we ever"?! THREE instances of Crapcom? Okay fess up, it was a Thumb. ...right guys?
  20. How has Idle Thumbs affected your life?

    My walk to and from work go from being mundane and repetetive to something I look forward to (at least once a week). I would also like to throw my wizard hat into the ring as I have also made myself look like a goddamn lunatic in public on multiple occasions because of the Thumbs. In particular, and most recently, was the "horrible future of video games" tangent which came about as I sat around waiting for my motocycle safety inspection to finish. Surrounded by a bunch of old biker dudes, I had multiple laughing to the point of crying fits. The increasingly obscure and horrible devices, the puppet master, the infectious laughter, it was all too much. Oh and horse bag. Every. Time. And those are only the last couple weeks. Considering I only started listening around episode 25 or so, the week or two it took me to listen to the archive contained many more similar situations.
  21. Street Fighter IV

    Here's a shitty video of the new characters fighting shittily. I will admit that I grinned like an idiot when I saw the return of T. Hawk's crazy awesome head-grab. Then I looked at Juri's lifebar...
  22. Mass Effect 2

    Whoa whoa whoa, let's not go saying things that we can't take back.
  23. Street Fighter IV

    Oh man look how dumb you are
  24. If you thought the Saitek Cyborg was crazy...

    Is it available in beige?
  25. Street Fighter IV

    Oh wow, I was not keeping up with the SFIV rumors and whatnot, this is crazy. The gaf thread is going to keep me entertained for the day, the amount of bile some people can spit over this sort of thing is hilarious. That's because Balrog is GUTTER TRASH