Locke

Heh, one of the levels is a school classroom. Brilliant.

Maybe Get: Panzer Dragoon Orta Otogi Halo Halo 2 Dead or Alive Ultimate (3 is good if you can find it cheap) Guilty Gear X2 Reload Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath Definitely Get: Ninja Fucking Gaiden Ninja Gaiden > Your soul +

Yo mama so small she be jumpin' off sidwealk curbs talkin' bout "Weee!" Aaaaaawwwww snap! He did not just say that!

Can someone tell me how a guy that gets straight A’s in every other class can get a fucking 44 F in Algebra 2 Honors? Well lucky for you, you don’t have to answer that because I already know how. My teacher is a stupid turtle bitch. My hatred for her burns with the power of a thousand suns. She can’t teach, she won’t answer questions in a manner I can understand, she won’t even give half credit for showing work, she’s balding, and most importantly, she’s a stupid turtle bitch. I’d tell her off, but I’m afraid she’s one of those snapping turtle bitches and she might bite my finger off or something. We get report cards soon, and I’m probably gonna get grounded. Unfortunately, my parents are of the “Oh, never mind the all those A’s over there, you got an F in the most important subject ever invented ever in the history of anything ever being invented,” mindset. It’s going to suck ass when I have to show them. I’m not talking about just any kind of ass, either. I’m talking about the big, pimply, greasy, hairy kind that just might suck back. The following is how I presume the event will take place: Parents: We hear you got report cards today. Your genius brother made straight A plusses. Let’s see how much you pale in comparison. Me: All right… *Hands over report card* Parents: Ah yes, we see that you have met our bare minimum requirement of being beyond excellent at all… WHAT THE HELL IS THIS F DOING HERE!?! Me: But look at all the A’s. Parents: What A’s? We don’t see any A’s here. A single F negates all A’s ever earned in your enitre life. All we see is a stinky pile of utter disappointment. You say you want to be a video game designer when you grow up? Hah! You can’t make games if you don’t know math. Me: I’m not that bad at it. Besides, I could be an artist or a writer… Parents: We said don’t get smart with us. We know video games can’t have art and writing. Those little things are all bleeps and bloops. You can’t fool us. Me: *Sigh* So I’m grounded? Parents: You know you’re grounded. No more driving, no more computer, no more sunlight. And you’ll be living off these vitamins from now on because we’re denying you your sense of taste. You’re lucky we don’t just beat your head in until you become a vegetable. And say goodbye to all your friends, because we’re killing them. Then you can spend 8 hours in the Snake Pit and 8 more in the Chamber of Fire. And if you make a sound in there you get to visit the Chamber Pit of Flaming Snakes. Me: But I can still play video games? Parents: Of course not. We’re surgically grafting your thumbs to your palms. All right… So my folks aren’t that bad… But damn it, I hate that stupid turtle bitch! Anyone else ever get grounded over bad grades? What else have you been grounded for?

But I still have all the yaoi!!!! Wait a minute... Eww.

WAKARIMASEN!!! YAMERO!!! THREAD NO WARUI DESU!!! Baka yarou. (I'm 1/4 Japanese, btw. It didn't make me smart at math, though... Just really good looking! HAHAHA!! AWESOMERS!)

Got report cards today. To my surprise my folks didn't seem as mad as I was expecting. They gave me a "You can do better" speech and that was all. They didn't even ground me! Could it be that they have finally listened my advice and taken a chill pill? (I was gonna make a "clever" remark about some drug here, but I forgot what its name is. o_O) Rock on.

DDR TO THE MAXX!!! Then I kill you.

He's talking about you.

Not whining... Just making conversation... Or so I thought o_O. And my parents care far more about my grades than I do. As long as I pass the class, ya know? Apathy roXors! (X capitalized for maximum impact!) Heh, you make me sound smarter than I actually am. The only reason I get good grades is because I have a good memory. It seems to me, every other subject is just memorization. In Algebra however, even if I remember the formulas I just end up making some dumb little mistake along the way (I'm quite prone to that kind of thing) and it screws the whole thing up. >_< And did you mention something about maturity to a teenager? Surely you jest! Gratuitous use of smilies is not the sign of maturity. It is the sign of a free spirit!!!!!11.

I's caints nots beats levels Fourses. Me feeling teh stoopid.

But I used the oh-so-fancy !!!1 too. Was my own sarcasm not noticed at all? I'm sure it was in there somewhere... But that can only mean... OHNOS!!!1 I've been banned from using sarcasm!!!1 How will I express my cynical attitude towards life now?!?!?!111 I'll go and suicide right now. DOUBLE OHNOS!!!1 Disclaimer: The above message was not intended to be sarcastic at all. The !!!1’s are purely accidental and any biting cynicism should be immediately disregarded.

How about "Can I stick my joystick in your controller port?" And for the record, my good friend Patchy Hobo takes offense to the sneaking remark. He doesn't like to be compared to big name companies or, as he puts it, "The Man." You hurt his feelings so he ran out mumbling "Stop telling me to get a job! I have a job! Car windows don't clean themselves while you sit in traffic. That will be five dollars! You owe me five dollars." He continued with several expletives and racial slurs until he passed out in a drunken haze. God bless you Patchy Hobo. Don't you have cable TV? Same thing. Damn that Spongebob fag and his RAW SEXUAL CONTENT!!!1.

Whaaa? ICO costs 30 whatever the hell that symbol stands fors where you are? How much is that compared to a new game? Damn, I'm glad I live in the U.S. I got my copy of ICO at EB Games for 12 dollars (And that is crazy cheap compared a 50 dollar new game.) And our currency makes sense to me, which is another plus. WE DON'T ACCEPT DUBLOONS HERE, YOU PIRATE! (You can't buy that ceramic pottery, but we will be happy to take those shiny things off your hands for free.)

I've mentioned her to the guidance counseler, but she went off on this whole thing about not blaming others for my own problems. It sounded like a rehearsed speech... Apparently, the turtle bitch has been teaching there for a very long time, so maybe it is that I just suck at math... But she could at least give half credit for showing all my work correctly. And check homework now and again, God damn it! Those two things are the reasons I managed to get C's in Algebra I. (I made A's in Geometry with no problem, though... Go figure.) And she has no excuse for being so mean and hateful. That's what me and my friends call her. Why? She's a mean bitch and she looks like a turtle. It's quite simple really. She's also got a lot of bald spots, but "Stupid Balding Turtle Bitch" didn't have that nice ring to it. Hah, I could seriously consider that at the moment. They aren't as bad as I made them out to be in the dialogue, though. It was my lame attempt at satire. So sorry if the humor was lost on you. Many gomen nasai's and sumi masen's to you, good sir. *Bows* That's awesome! My English teacher only shows us old episodes of The Twilight Zone. He also likes to quote Pulp Fiction a lot. He even has questions about Tarantino movies on his tests sometimes. Most of the students are like, o_O. But I'm all like, .

But Jessica Alba is in it! Have you seen Jessica Alba? Forget about that Honey or whatever crap. She's awesome. She's also in Sin City, which looks like it will turn out to be ridiculously cool (It would look that way even if she weren't playing a stipper in it.) And yes, the movie does look like mindless fun. And on Dr. Doom, I might not be the best person to judge because I only know him from Marvel vs. Capcom 2, but he seems to be quite lame.

No, it's not spam. It's rose online. I mean, come on. Its right there in the subject line. (Hint: Sar+casm = spamtastic!)

Ah! That reminds me, he was also in this game. I never played it, though. My neighbor gave it to me about 2 years ago (still in the shrink wrap even) and we sold it to get a PS2. They didn't give us extra for it being in the wrapping, though. I hate them. *cries*

He's at his best on Saturday Night Live. "I gotta have more cowbell!"

roll the head down the corridor like a bowling ball

But of course. This is the Internet after all.

yell racial slurs at 3D Yufster and wormsie models

Apparently Gamepro gave it a 4 outta 5. ... Don't know why I even bothered posting this. Who gives a shit about Gamepro?

That's the Chi!

... Best thread ever!