Jaero

I admit, I had to try it out. I try to play most well-reviewed PC games. Fuck me in the butt, I think I liked San Andreas - Hell, so much that I actually beat it (though apparently there's still 30% of San Andreas I haven't done, no pun intended). That's about 69% more than I can say about any of the other GTA games. Speaking of that, I thought it was funny how many times that number appeared in the game. Pier 69. Runway 69. Dock 69. Etc.

This is my current list: Two-Headed Baby Hulking Lungfish Ultra Peepi from Invader Zim Klaymen from The Neverhood Marek Bunchies Something from Dr. Seuss Giant smiley (shifty eye) face

Jaero, meet bandwagon. Fucking awesome movie, especially compared to Episodes I and II. I've seen it twice already, which is rare (as is me watching movies in theaters at all). If I see it again, I think I might cry. I can't get that last battle out of my fucking head. Also, Ewan McGregor kicks ass.

I'm sure he would have fucked it up anyway, but I hope whoever snapped that picture with a flash as he was aiming for his mouth had a good laugh.

I feel very solicited-on.

Man, up until the 'point of no return', this masterpiece had just about knocked Prince of Persia out of its spot on my list of favorites. After that, everything went to fucking hell. There are two flaws with Psychonauts that are really pissing me off, mostly because aside from these flaws, the game is a masterpiece, and I would love for it to stay that way. Flaw #1, saves need to fucking work like saves. Not sometimes fucking checkpoints, and sometimes fucking saves. They don't work like they're supposed to right when you need them the most, such as in Tent City. Flaw #2, beyond the 'point of no return', there are some insanely difficult areas in comparison to everything you experience in the game prior to them. The difficulty all of the sudden goes from "relatively easy and fun" to "frustrating and annoying". It breaks the harmony of the game, and it's not exactly that fun when you sit there replaying the same damn sequence dozens of times, possibly for an hour or two - and then you hit another one just after that. Everything the game has trained you far thus for won't prepare you, or your reaction time and reflexes, for the ludicrous shit that happens after you have brainsex with Oleander. This seems to be an appropriate post for any 'hate' thread.

I'd so buy some of those stickers if I didn't already have Spaff's business card which said on the back "I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?" I've been meaning to get that thing framed. Can we get those shifty shirts in black with white ?

Even though I've been in hiding, I just can't fucking take it anymore. I just ordered the game. Maybe it's better on console than on PC, but I also don't have a console newer than SNES. Thanks a lot, you bastards. Also, I miss Yufster.

Game Brains described Homestar Runner as a site that single-handedly defines why the internet exists. I think if you read into it that some people think it's retarded, and some think it's funny, that still applies. I personally love the site. Though Strong Bad never responds to my emails, that... Stinko. Heh. The "jumping cup" monster in Stinkoman is named Jaro. Hahah. Funny.

The mythical people that live in his pet gnome's trousers. What the hell. If I say, "Man, this guy said that when the world ends, Electronic Arts will be all that's left of the human race." This may seem plausible, but also, it don't mean shit. Thanks for the link to that letter, Marek. I really can't think of anything clever to say after this, and the rest of that steaming pile of shit. I mean, wow. Fuck.

"Kyle, all those times I said you were a dumb, stupid Jew, well, I was wrong, you're not a Jew."

People who make a "duct tape ball" and call it art should be castrated. I don't consider anything art that anyone you pick off the street can duplicate. The same thing goes for the industry. Mediocre games that come out of Electronic Arts could very likely be duplicated by most other development studios. In fact, that's probably how it happens, as they are just a publisher that buys up little studios. So, two publishers (Star Wars Publisher and EA Publisher), both having roots in what might be considered 'art', but have since strayed far from that path... well... yeah. Whatever. As Lucasarts should be "Star Wars Game Publisher", EA should rename itself to "Games, Inc."

Slide.

I've made a sport out of telling these sorts of people that I'm some kinda of mutant Aryan Jew. I'm a clone of my father, who is very dutch, but my mother's family was jewish, and my hair is too. My nose tries to be, but it can't quite pull it off. It's not really that funny to me anymore, and some smarter people dismiss me as being full of shit (which I am), but I used to get my kicks when stupid people thought I descended from Nazis... or Jews. Man, I'm a dick.

Redwall said it. I can't see much else aside from Mafia with a title everyone knows. Maybe a little license exploitation, perhaps some voice acting from an original actor or two (an extra maybe). If I were EA, I'd actually go ahead and aquire a license for 'the Mafia' itself--Italian, Russian, whatever. Gotta cover all the bases. And if they don't, hopefully one of the execs will lose a finger or two.

I checked the last option. Mr. Kingz was the first (and only) bastard to send me a 'welcome' PM, because he apparently liked me, and he never replied to my reply; which wasn't really a 'love letter', but... he started it. Maybe it was because I started posting more and being cool less. Forgive me father, I was weakened by Yufster's feminine wiles.

Damn, if only it were the producers of BFME that got it.

I tried smoking cloves for a while in my early teens. Why the fuck I did that, I couldn't tell you. I was never addicted, mentally or physically. Time is money, and smoking meant I'd have to leave my computer for a few minutes, and that was unacceptable. My then step-father smoked cuban cigars constantly, making the rest of us inhale what he claimed that he did not. Sometimes I still have trouble running moderate distances. That was all a long time ago, but I share the same "What the Fuck" sentiment. One of my biggest peeves is when I'm having a conversation with someone and they ask me to wait while they go outside and smoke one of their cancer-sticks, or beg me to join them.

Pikey Moon and Evolution: World Builder sound pretty fun. Rio's Dr. Phil sounds pretty cool too, but I would add one thing. That fat bald bastard being a shrink (not a real doctor), it's only appropriate that he have his own line of diet shakes and energy bars--really, it's the only way--so whenever you run into a fat boss, you can win him over with false promises of self confidence and a tighter butt. Funny, it almost makes sense, save that Dr. Phil isn't the least bit fit. He needs to exploit his name and profession next by being the spokesperson for the Hair Club for Men. My idea though... well, I haven't really gotten too far. Actually, I have, but I want to do something original and valuable (not in terms of monetary worth), and when I got to the point where one of the main characters was Native American, I realized that pubishers would urinate in my face. So thanks for crushing my dreams, IdleThumbs.

Two weeks?

I saw The Motorcycle Diaries this week and Garden State last week. I've seen about a dozen others too, but in comparison aren't worth mentioning. You must see them. Must. See. Them. /me makes a list of the ones recommended thus far.

I won't masturbate for a week if Yufster writes a poem about me. /rhyming

Only games that went through my hands were ones I gave away - particularly games by EA. I'm trying to purge my collection of their refuse, even if they did give me most of them for free.

I got socks.