namman siggins

hello migraine city!

Speaking of KR0, that mine shaft sequence (those who have played it, y'all know what I'm talking about) is amazing. I remember coming across it for the first time and it sent shivers down my spine.

Re-watching Crimes and Misdemeanors and man what a fucking great movie. It's one of Woody Allen's better suspenseful, bitter, existential dramas with a heavy Jewish religious and philosophical slate.

I'm might come across on you Saturday. I'm going to be in San Fran for just hanging around and a comic books signing at Mission Comics.

Yeah. I think we both put up and held it together because we've been with each other for so long. We loved each other but she, more than I, thought it was time to go. At least we left in good terms and once I'm healed I think we can be good friends again. I'm reading Gaddis's Carpenter Gothic and came across this quote, "Finally realize you can't leave things better than you found them the best you can do is try not to leave them any worse . . ." How I feel with the relationship. Thanks for that. The reality of living alone is hitting me hardest and is the hardest part. Having lived with her for so long and having her come through the door and seeing her face and having a sleeping buddy was so fucking comforting. Her mannerisms and smell have become a part of me and when I'm at the sink or in a certain place in the apartment, I get hit with memories of her. She's become so ingrained in me that I see her everywhere in the apartment. Shits hard. I'm slowly trying to get myself busy and I'm going to do what I want to do when I transfer to a Uni: writing and game development or film studies. Also, for the Fall, I'm thinking of studying aboard for a semester. I've been wanting to do that for a while but couldn't because the separation would be too much for the relationship. We were already separated for a while, another big one would have destroyed it. Thanks everyone for the advice! I've survived day one, my internet is back up, I'm marathoning some of my favorite Woody Allen films and Spring Break has started. So here's for the best and the future.

Life's pretty crappy right now. Internet stopped working at my house, my girlfriend of almost five years, well, we broke up last night and I stubbed my fucking toe this morning. Watching someone you love and lived with for four years and seeing them move and pack their stuff is painful, man. I've been washed with old memories all today... Luckily these memories ebb and flow. So I'm at a coffee shop right now, waiting for my ex to have moved her stuff to her parents and when that happens, I'll be heading back to the apartment. *sigh*

Just ordered Gaddis's Carpenter's Gothic and I'm excited to read it. This is going to be my first William Gaddis book and I've been told this is where to start and then move on to J.R. & The Recognitions. I'm now reading Goat Mountain by David Vann and its main characters are three generations of men (grand, father and son) and it deals with the aftermath of a horrible decision (his son shoots and kills a poacher). Reading Goat Mountain has a Cormac McCarthy vibe to it: the exploration of violence, an almost biblical exploration of family dynamics, and using the landscape as a character that changes and mirrors our protagonists.

Animal Man but read until The Rot crossover/arc, skip that arc and read the aftermath of it.Dial H for Hero is another great comic that got canceled too soon; definitely a Vertigo comic. Soule's Swamp Thing is pretty good and better than Synder's run./.

Huh, never thought I'd see someone drop Jandek.Saw him live in Columbus, OH while back ago; interesting show.

Don't know if there are Charles Forsman or Noah Van Sciver fans here BUT: http://www.oilycomics.com/digital-comics Oily comics now have digital comics for sale and for a good price too! Retrofit and Uncivilized comics are putting out some amazing comics too: http://retrofit.storenvy.com/ http://www.uncivilizedbooks.com/

A mixture of both but more of that latter.There are many unqiue npc interactions during every gameplay that enrich games. Not only that but match that with the many different ways a player can play those games, which pop up many more unqiue interactions.

You could say it's the Citizen Kane of, " not going to be a video game or going to be a not video game" -IGN.com

Just recently found out that SOMA is going to take place underwater and not in space... My mind is all kinds of fucked up now. The vibe and atmosphere I was picking up from what Frictional was giving us about SOMA made it seem like it was in space. Now that it's underwater, it puts it in a different ballgame. Let me expand on different. Different in that instead of being surrounded by endless darkness, you're now surrounded by endless darkness with living things surrounding you, living their life. I think that adds another level of existential dread of knowing that the things around will continue to live their while you die or try to survive. Also the mythology and atmosphere of deep sea environment takes something so familiar to us to yet is still so damn alien. And if one has knowledge of the creatures that inhabit those depths, having those creatures surrounding (even creatures not yet discovered!) with, I'm going to assume, killer robots going after you is frightening.

I look at TES the way I look at Stalker in the way you said it, Sno: "for generating stories." Both of these games a ripe with unexpected situations that become so personal to each player. And listening to a player re-tell their unqiue experience about a game you played and explored much of makes you appreciate it more. It's a rich tapestry of stories that makes those games.

To even speak about this experience and how it lead me there I have to talk about my childhood a bit. A quick intro to who I am: I was born in Torreon, Mexico and lived there for about four or five years. My Mom is Spanish/Iranian and my Dad is German/Irish, so I was a biracial child. We moved up to Cincinnati when I was 5 or 6 and I lived up a in very white neighborhood. I lived close to the hood, the school I went to was private and majority white. I didn't get to see much of myself (other brown kids like me) other than my Mom and my family in Mexico (and that was when I visited them). This gave me a double consciousness: one that was white and one that was Mexican. Though I had this double consciousness, I found out quickly that I was too white for the Mexicans I did come across in Cincinnati and for the white kids I was too Mexican for them; I was stuck in an existential limbo. This rejection from both sides ruled (and still does to an extent) most of my childhood and teenage years. It made very angry and confused to who I was. Match that with a heavy depression I was going through, racist remarks & bullying from both sides, and dealing with a somewhat high dose of Ritalin (I was diagnosed with ADHD), it wasn't a pretty childhood. This anger lead me to hardcore punk and I found an outlet for that anger and confusion. I really got into the music and scene. I started to delve deeper int Hardcore Punk and somehow it lead me to Black Metal and other noisy raw bands. When I found out about Black Metal, the misanthropic nihilistic transgressive nature really attracted me and I oddly found a home. The move I delved in Black Metal the more it lead me to NSBM (national socialist black metal). A side-note: I always found NSBM to be bullshit because Black Metal in its very nature is to be against everything and having a political or joyful appraise of ones own culture, I thought, went against Black Metal's nihilistic nature but that's just me; there are some great bands within that sub-genre though. OKAY! Back on track. So the more I delved into BM and NSBM, I found genres like Industrial, Noise, and Neo-folk. These are bands that took that transgressive nature of BM but matured it and add many different sounds to their sounds. Bands like: Death In June, Sol Invictus, Boyd Rice, Der Blutharsch, Darkwood, Swans, Blood Axis, Current 93 and others. These bands really captured me because of their give no fucks attitude and their ability to fetish taboo things: like Nazi culture and aesthetics. A lot of these bands are anti-racist (and there are bands that are all about white supremacy) but there was something about the Nazi aesthetic that attracted them and me too. So I went in and I discovered a scene full of complexity and contradictions and very interesting people/ideas. There were minorities dressing as Nazis, the BDSM scene mixed with the scene because of the shared bands and culture, and it attracted a lot of smart and very open people. Of course there was the mixture of 88s and SSs and Hammers but they didn't bother me much because starting shit was a pain. I remember talking to this black guy who had a Skrewdriver White Power tattoo; shit like this was normal. I collected rings and photography for a bit (sold them all off) and listened to racist and non-racists bands. For me, I wanted to get out of my skin and be something else. If I couldn't be accepted, I wanted to push people's button and show I give no fucks. As I got older, I grew tired of the scene and became more conscious and empathic to what these images can do to oneself and the people around you. Nazi aesthetics, like everything else in life has a duality. In this instance, the evil and damage of Nazi aesthetics symbolizes outdoes the beauty of design. NOW! I agree with Patrick and AlexB on this issue and they both represent the duality I was taking about. I can agree with that.

Sure but I won't be home till 5 (pst).

It was a mixture of both but mostly not.

i wholly agree!It's horrible when people try to undermine it by saying, "That was the attitude of the time" Or "Everyone was racist back then", as if that absolves it of its problems; it simply doesn't. Some people can separate it and judge a work if the good outdoes the bad, some see the bad as better too much and can't leave it alone and others can accept the contradictions within the work. I personally think all this's are valid and come down to the person. EDIT: I apologize for all my grammar and spelling errors, I'm on my phone.

Also, to add to Luft: when I first saw the game and saw the pilot what entered my mind was, "Oh. You get to at as a Nazi Fighter Pilot. That's interesting." I bought the game and played and I'd be lyin' if I said I didn't enjoy it; I enjoyed the shit out of it. But! While playing the game there was always the nazi aesthetic at play. Since, of you read my last post, I was part of a Nazi aesthetic fetishist scene, I can put myself into two positions: one is enjoying the aesthetics of Luft and know that the game makers aren't trying to send a pro-nazi sentiment, but also as a POC, I could wholly understand and feel the problems within the aesthetic.

I'm on my phone so I'm not going to breakdown this quote.In your second paragraph about why it's not told why this place is forgotten or the way it is okay in my eyes. Having lived and talked to people who live in such areas, there is a feeling of abandonment, decay mixed with an underlying Midwest industrial folklore/mythology. And you can tell the inhabitens why their town or city was abandoned but it can get to abstract or big and not personal. When I lived in Cincinnati, there was an post-industrial economic and societal depression conscious. There was a feeling of why did this happening and where do we go from here. So I can relate to the obtuseness of Kentucky and I love it; it's a game that hit close to home. And personally, as I get older, I like obtuse or open to interpretation narratives. I read a lot if weird/magical realism/low-key fantastico stories that work this way. Which leads me Bioshock DLC, which I thought was an overwrought DLC that wanted to have its cake and eat. Trying to tie everything together and be like, "SEE! It all fits!" It destroys the mythology and fill-the-blanks or use your imagination that Bioshock 1 used rather well. For me, I really don't care what it looked like before, I like to imagine bit never really have a full grasp of the picture; that's what I like about Bioshock 1. Coming in and filling in gaps, re-conning and showing everything's just didn't work for the DLCS. Also, in the first episode, how they dealt with revolutionary leader from Inifinite was even more troubling! Instead of fixing they added to their problems of how racism and revolutions are dealt in their games. This heads leads me too Luft: I agree with Patrick R. Having been a victim of such racist bullshit and even been in the nazi fetish scene, I can wholly understand why people would have problems with the imagery. Those wanting to know why if a victim was part of that scene: I was a brown kid trying to be white because I hated my color. What better why than to be a nazi fetishist and try to deny who I am; there was also my teenage mind trying to rebel and be transgressive.

Comic blog I write for with two other people: http://the9thblog.blogspot.com/ We focus on indie and European releases. And my tumblr which is located in my signature.

yes yes and yes. I'd say it's better than the first and fixed all the things that didn't work with the first. It's even more atmospheric and suffocating than the first.

Prepare to have the shit scared out of you at times. For the longest time I only played the demo growing up and I finally played and finished it last year and holy fuck was it good. The atmosphere and soundtrack work so harmoniously with each other it made my jaw drop.

Anyone near San Francisco , Mission Comics is having Simon Roy, Brandon Graham and Robin McConnell on April 19th.

1. Ah, okay. 2. Oh fuck, need to get that. 3. Ouch! I'm glad I missed that starter too... Also, just did an advance review for Genesis by Nathan Edmondson, Alison Sampson, & Jason Wordie http://the9thblog.blogspot.com/2014/04/advance-review-genesis-nathan-edmondson.html