Garple

Neither. I'm thinking more along the lines of stuff like Trials HD, Super Mario Bros. and Street Fighter II. Nice quip, though.

Oh man! I've always wanted to play the Witcher, but the console version went from upcoming to canceled to semi-uncanceled. Maybe Red Dead will have to suffice.

I really like it when games don't have emotional beats. To each his own, though, certainly.

So I guess we're all probably buying this, then?

In case you don't feel like reading all the crap beneath this sentence, what you really need to know is: PLAY ZOOMAROOM. It is. Also..."The Impossible Game" is a great abstract on-rails platformer (new genre?) if you don't mind trial and error. "Border Wars" is kind of neat, because it's a shmup where you can draw and design your own custom ship from scratch. "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls" is ridiculous enough that it's worth playing the demo. "Ikaroids" is a nice semi-clone of Super Stardust HD that looks pretty and throws a lot of different stuff at you in a way that keeps things interesting. "Machiavelli's Ascent" is a pretty, artsy but simple and flash-like game that involves collecting momentum to propel a jellyfish toward the surface of the ocean. "Pixel Man" is a super-minimalist platformer that's tricky and satisfying. "Platypus" is a claymation shmup that's worth playing even for the visuals alone. "Powa Valley Classic" is an HD remake/clone of the freeware classic "Slime Volleyball" which looks to have a bunch of interesting modes and characters if you plunk down for the full game. "Pyromaniac" is a fun fast-paced arcadey thingamajig...watch the colors...press the buttons...faster...FASTER!!! "Run Away" is really funny for a minute or two. "SFG Soccer" is a surprisingly decent soccer game (if you're into that sort of thing). "Slingstar" is a great momentum based space-shooter without the shooting. "WhipCrack" is also neat and kind of like "Slingstar," I guess, but you play as a whip. "Zoomaroom" is my personal favorite. It's a physics based not-quite-platformer where you play as a monkey who has a slippy slidey yellow ball for a torso and you try to collect coins and reach exits. Furthermore: it has a level editor.

What if life were like interactive fiction? Me: I'm going to eat some cereal. Life: Don't you think you'd better pick up the spoon first? I guess life is like Interactive Fiction, only less obtrusive. I realize that's a dumb statement. I mean, what would life obtrude upon? But I think you know what I'm saying.

What if you're looking at "games as games" instead of "games as art?"

Oh man, I lol'd

What game?

Fuck no, it won't.

OMFuckin'G

Basically, yeah. When I was playing, I kept waiting for it to get really interesting and, for me, it never did. If anything, it got less interesting the more I learned about the world in which it takes place. That's kind of my point. Combat is the major mechanical "game" part of the game, but it seems like everybody's mostly playing for the story stuff. I see that as a form of grinding. Any time combat is little more than a means to an end, I sort of see it as grinding. Because it sounds like you would enjoy the game more if there were no combat or there were less of it."

That's cause for hope, though I don't know if I'm up for PC finagling.

To be fair, I guess I'm using the term "grinding" in a slightly different way than that in which it is usually used. I'm not so much saying you have to level up a lot to continue...but to me, just continuing to play the game and fight the battles feels like a form of grinding. That's probably just down to my personal disdain for the game though.

I read somewhere less trusted than here I might be able to make this run on an Intel GMA 950. Should I go for the gold or keep dreaming?

This is a thread for quotes that amuse you, but are not intentionally amusing. This can be within games journalism, forum fanboy ranting, or I suppose, anything else. This comes from PC Gamer:http://www.metacritic.com/games/platforms/pc/witcher The Witcher is a fantastic RPG, and an amazing achievement for first-time Polish developer CD Projekt. [Jan 2008, p.82] It's their first time being Polish.

Notorious on the bio channel is good television.

Brilliant.

I don't want to think about what "mother thumber" would actually mean .

elmuerte, if you like Arkanoid clones, Shatter is probably the best one ever made (it's on PSN). Also, if you like controlled chaos, Trash Panic is a lot of fun. Demon's Souls is a must if you like Dugeon Crawlers (it's like Diablo II with a PhD). Also: Critter Crunch is a charming son of a gun... Though it's not the deepest experience ever. Certainly try the demo at least. Edit: And I'm finding Ratchet and Clank Future: Quest for Booty to feel a bit like a 3D platformer version of Tales of Monkey Island.

I think it's worth noting the games you haven't played when choosing your goty. I'm still pretty sure it'd be Trials HD with no contest, but I wish I'd played Little King's Story, Uncharted 2, Arkham Asylum, A Boy and His Blob, Hammerfight and Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story. My runners up are Demon's Souls and Halo 3 ODST.

"If you're interested in blowing up Nazis and looking at endless breasts, then you really want to check this out." From the review of The Saboteur on Destructoid of all places! I thought they were better than that.

For some reason that looks a little disturbing.

Basically, all I'm saying is: it seems like people are playing the game because they know it contains a whole bunch of stuff to see. But, in my opinion the stuff is all kind of dumb and I haven't seen anyone defend it on an aesthetic or intellectual level, so I kind of assume it's a compulsory activity. They just want to find all the content because they know it's there and, you never know, they just might be entertained by some of it.

I think I get what you mean. But to me, the Dragon Age is sort of all about grinding for content. Players want to beat all the difficult combat encounters so they can get to all of the story stuff and experience more of the elements that make up the world (I assume). But that stuff is so shallow that it ends up being beside the point, even though it is the point. The hazy memories you have of reading Sword of Shannara when you were 14 make the story and setting of Dragon Age obsolete. In fact, looking at the cover of a fantasy novel in Barnes and Noble would make the story and setting of Dragon Age obsolete. It could be that I'm just destined not to like the game, but it reminds me of being 15 and loving progressive rock because I thought more complex = better, without question.