James

I plan to continue my main form of interaction with the people of this forum, yes.

For a while I assumed they'd just given him a blank crotch, but eventually I noticed that there was, indeed, a wang. A magic blue wang. Anyway, I liked it with reservations. One of which was the sex scene. I thought that was pretty bad.

What did you think of the giant blue wang physics?

It definitely doesn't always happen, but I'm pretty sure it happened last time, too, albeit to a lesser extent. Might it be a function of how many people are playing? Does it spread things out more because of some sort of slightly buggered difficulty scaling? Or perhaps there are just more bikes, increasing the probability that one's stranded in the middle of fucking nowhere. Or were we just unlucky?

It was fun. I just wish the bikes stealing mission in the co-op mode didn't take so long. It's a shame to spend such a large portion of that mode all separated out rather than riding around together like it feels like it ought to be. Because that seems cool.

"Almost as fun as actual war" - Nevsky's friend

Hans?

Auschwitz: various shit. "The Renaissance was OK, but this game is where it's really at" - IGN.com

"This game will mispronounce your name but you won't say anything because it intimidates you." - IGN.com Accents aren't a competitive sport. One time when I was at university and my mother and sister had come to visit, there was a Scottish (possibly Glaswegian, but I'm no expert) man on a mobile phone pacing the street outside my house in the middle night repeatedly calling someong a FUCKING IDIOT. It's one of the finest accents for sounding frightening, I think, although he then followed that up with some stuff about messing with people's emotions, so it sounds like he was actually just a big profane softy who'd had his heart broken. Poor angry guy. My dad hates the Brummie accent. I can see how it could grate, but it really depends on the speaker.

Well you are (presumably) Scottish. I think you guys are probably the masters of swearing. I, being a nerdy suburban Southerner, tend to come off sounding a bit awkward. But I don't let that interfere with my enthusiasm. ----- "It'll comfort you with hugs" - IGN.com

"It'll [offensive word A] you in the [offensive word B]" - reprehensible human being

I heartily endorse the return of The Wizard. I fucking love that guy.

I'm no expert at all this stuff, but I can tell you that my PSU came with a bunch of PCI-E power cables, each with eight pins, two of which were separated. Unless your PSU is modular, I would have thought you'd need a new one. But if it runs without, I guess not. Have you tried anything properly taxing yet? As I mentioned in GTA, my PC is kind of buggered at the moment, and the graphics card is affected, and I suspect it's something to do with the power, so I probably shouldn't even be posting in here.

That's pretty much how I feel about CVs, and the whole job application process in general. It seems to me that the way to get employed is study the application process rather than actually developing skills, kind of like how IQ tests apparently mainly test how much practice you've had at IQ test style questions, and not actual intelligence (according to some, anyway). Then again, it's not like I'm a fountain of ability, so I guess it doesn't really make much difference to me, but I really do despise looking and applying for work. Which is the main reason I've stayed at this distinctly unspectacular job for over a year. Also I'm lazy and lacking in aspiration. Perhaps those are my worst qualities. Or maybe it's that I'm a heathen and my soul is fated to spend eternity wailing repentantly in the most godless recesses of Hell. I don't know. You tell me. "What's your worst quality?" "When I feel like I'm being put on the spot I have a tendency to stab people repeatedly in the mouth."

"Prepare to be blown away by Killzone 2 on PLAYSTATION 3" - an e-mail I got from Sony ----- I feel fairly comfortable with the word "cunt", but I'm not entirely sure I can fully justify using it over using other words that I'm less comfortable with. Am I, for example, less sensitive to sexism than I am to racism? Or am I subconsciously more worried that I might be racist than I am that I might be sexist? Or do I just not believe that "cunt" has been used as a tool of oppression, where others have? The latter is kind of my instinctive feeling, but it's not like I'm an expert on the plight of women through the ages or whatever.

Last night I reached the top rank, so I guess the multiplayer is doing something right. The controls definitely do feel better. I don't understand why they don't have toggle crouch in single player. It seems bizarre to acknowledge the demand by including it in multiplayer, but fail to include something so simple in the single player. I actually generally prefer the less full games. When it's really hectic I find it hard to use any of the badges' abilities without dying incessantly. I guess I could just be a standard soldier, but I'm kind of obsessed with unlocking all the ribbons at the moment.

Dear The Wizard, I don't know where I'm going with this dumb post. Careful with your rape games! Love, James

What are you, gay or something? THAT WAS A VERY BAD JOKE AND I AM VERY SORRY.

Yeah, it kind of bothers me how many of them involve the word, but I didn't let that hold me back.

"It'll rape you in the rape-stick" - IGN.com

Yeah, that's doubly weird still having the CoD system so ingrained in my mind. I'm used to switching to aim mode for all but the closest of encounters, whereas in Killzone it's really not beneficial to use it unless you're quite some distance away. I think it also reduces your already rather fiddly turn speed (which, other than the time it takes to bring the gun up, was the only reason not to use it in CoD), so tracking a target at anything but long distance is beyond me. I'm still not decided what the best approach for the pistol is, though. Still, I'm enjoying both modes well enough, although I think the multiplayer has more potential. To be honest my standards aren't astronomically high for most things -- I see bad films at the cinema if there's nothing good on, and sometimes even if there is something good on, and generally don't feel too cheated. I guess I'm just apathetic or something. Which isn't to say that Killzone is a bad game. It's a good if unremarkable game, other than in its graphics and slightly peculiar (to no gain) mechanics. My main disappointment is how dumb the characters are. I suppose that's par for the course with sci-fi shooters, but I think the gritty (or whatever you want to call it) presentation would be better matched by something more understated and realistic. Which is something to be said for the multiplayer: your guy is largely faceless. Better to be a mute cog in a machine than an arse of a hero.

/thumb

Make good rape?!

Noby Noby Boy: Sociopathic Quadrupedal Engorging Intestine Simulator Seriously, that thing is demented. The blank stare BOY has on his face as he mercilessly devours anything set before it, animate or inanimate, is kind of creepy in a hilarious way. Presented in a more objective light, it's a nightmare vision. Can you imagine describing this snake-like beast to someone without making reference to the bright colours or unthreatening music? I think it would sound pretty hellish.

I did have an idea that might be within the realm of the amount of effort I'd be willing to put in. Basically it would involve someone going to a toilet, closing the door, screaming, leaving, then being followed by someone else with an animal or vegetable head. I guess that would have to be either made or bought or edited on.