Salka

Yeah, it is funny... but what way were you looking at it, Deadsy?

Oh. My. God. GTA... FRIGGIN' DUBLIN!!! Only, water in Dublin would equal death, and the cops don't have guns, and there'd be pretty much nothing to do other than go into Easons Bookshop. Oh, or hang out with the dodgy-looking Romanians on Grafton Street. But I mean, let's be innovative here. As Chris pointed out in his article, there are other ways to progress in a game than shooting things. There could be alternate ways of doing crime in GTA: Dublin. Like, for instance, selling fake dancing leprechauns to American tourists! Or making illegal alcoholic substances from potato skins!

He is undeniably a great game designer. I think that, while there's nothing wrong with dating an 18 year old when you're 36... I mean, it's love that counts, not age... I still think it's just a little inappropriate for him to have pictures of said girlfriend in his photo gallery such as this one, and this one. I mean, okay, they seem to be innocent enough and all. But there seems to be more pictures of her than of him WITH her. I just get the feeling he's kind of showing her off or something. I don't know. If I was an 18 year old girl fangirl called Rhaluka... I'd be just a tiny bit suspicious. Also, somebody should slap Romero for using so many crap photoshop filters. He may be a dedicated game designer, but I get the feeling he thinks he's a lot better than he really is. There's nothing wrong with self-believe, but the guy appears to have it in abundance. That, or he's just had a really unfortunate set of interviews that make him come across as such.

Go, Tim! Didn't Romero even finish high school?!

Aw, gee. Thanks, Chris! Now I feel much better. Not that there's anything unlikely about Russian double-agent spy scientists from James Bond movies. Your name sounds like it might be a shortened version of 'Christopher' or 'Christian'. Or 'Christ'. When I think of Chris, I think of crates, but that's pretty much because I just read an article on crates at OMM. I don't think it has anything to do with your name. Before reading that article, I probably associated the name 'Chris' with a guy I once knew called 'Chris', who used to beat me up at summer camp and push me into the lake if I didn't give him my pocket money and/or bait. We used the bait for catching crabs. Chris used to try to make the crabs pinch me. I don't think I liked him very much, but I can't remember because I tried to block all my memories of Summer Camp and forgot a lot of stuff, and also he once hit me on purpose with a rounders bat because our team kept getting home runs. So I got concussion and forgot a lot of stuff then, too. Well, a lot more stuff. That's probably the first thing I think of every single time I hear the name 'Chris'. Stevan's name sound like he spells it wrong or something. I, personally, have never met a super double agent russian spy called Stevan. EDIT: John Romero before surger-- I mean, before his moustache? Wasn't that around the time he gave that interview where he said something like, "If they knew who I was, we wouldn't be waiting so long!"?

Oh, that's not so bad then. I thought he was way older. But, if Tim Schafer graduated in 1989... how does that make him older than John, if John was making games back in... 1980? Huh? So, if he was born in 1968... that would make him 22 when he made Keen, and stuff. Oh, okay. It works out. The other games were home projects. I thought he was about 50... Also, Breda is a wildly popular Irish name. Everybody over here is called Breda. Except me. According to Stevan, I have some kind of an unlikely, fake-sounding name.

In that picture, she actually looks exactly like my 15 year old friend, Breda. And I don't think John Romero is only 36. Wasn't he making games as far back as in 1980?

Yeah, but you know everything, Marek. It's news to ME. How old is John Romero?

I rock.

Good. Now you can replace it with Scissor Sisters. What happened to it? Did you leave it in your car again? Haha! Texas must kick ass.

The barrels need no defence. One of my fondest memories of Doom, or Doom 2... is going in to a room filled entirely with barrels, and accidently pressing Spacebar. Best. Explosion. On my 386. Ever. Then came a lot of games with bigger and better explosions, and more crates and barrels, on faster machines, so it stopped being so cool to a lot of people, but not to me. I mean, Oni had thee most crates EVER, and there's a lot of explosions going on in, say, pretty much every game. But not one game since Doom has had designers with enough creative thinking to make an entire room full of pretty much nothing but barrels. And the barrels were filled with petrol.

To be honest, I'm not worried about any of that. I mean, okay. Doom 3 has no plot. But Doom never had a plot. Or if it did, I don't think it actually mattered much. The whole great thing about Doom was that you just got to blow things up and you didn't need a reason. Not that that makes it alright for Doom 3 to have no plot... it just means I don't care.

Trep, Game Design Theory comes out of my shower nozzle. Sexy, huh? I'm all like that girl in the Herbal Essences ad, except instead of say, "Yeah! Yeah!" I say, "Emergent Behaviour! Story-driven gameplay! Character-driven story!" and things like that, and instead of being a size four, I am not. Oh, and I don't actually do any of that stuff as I don't get my kicks from living, breathing, drinking and eating game design. Although if I did, I probably would be a size four.

Uh... I don't. What is it? Is it water?

Commander Keen was awesome! That's what made it awesome! You suck!

REALLY???!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! What do you think he was trying to say?

Okay, it's over. Is anybody gonna put together a transcript for everybody WITHOUT techTV? Or upload the interview? Or something? Because a little birdie told me that he was talking about where he got the idea for Psychonauts, and I wanna hear that.

Sometimes, gay guys go for girls. Right? Sometimes.

I have mushrooms for breakfast, sometimes. I can say that I've never tried any of those substances either, but I would probably try cannabis if it wasn't so friggin' expensive over here. Oh, shit. I just swallowed an entire mouthful of Listerine Mouthwash by accident and now I think I'm going to get sick.

Why, my favourite drug is laughter, of course!

Kingzjester? Your cow dies, I laugh! Despite that I live in the Lost City of Atlantis, which is supposedly technologically advanced, I have no Broadband available where I live (within the lost city). On the other hand, my brother has the whole Xbox live setup and it's awesome. From what you said, I just gathered that you didn't like it and well, maybe you haven't given it enough of a try.

Whoa! Christina Ricci and Tim Schafer!

Yes. We sell Xbox Games in the restaurant. Right beside the PS2 games and opposite the joysticks. Quite close to the salad bar, but not so close that it blocks the coffee machine and the laptop display.

HA HA HA ha ha. I took a whole bunch of Xboxs out of their boxes today so I could display the dummy boxes at work. Man, they are huge. There's nothing elegant about them at all. On the other hand, I'll be buying one for sure. Whether or not I play Psychonauts on it, there is still the issue of Xbox live. And Halo 2. And my ten percent staff discount.