Salka

I KNOW!!!!

I bet it really was the Day of His Tentacle, eh? Eh? Did you drink from his Fountain of Youth? He's really into S&M, isn't he?!! I'll bet you really awoke his Sleeping Dragon! I hope the experience was more of a Longest Journey rather than a Last Express... Did you Romance His Stones? Did you tell him to Shape Up or Slip Out? Were you on a Quest For a Glory hole? You must have really unleashed his Beast Within! Did he plant his Dark Seed? Were you his Leather Goddess? Did you play with his Littly Willy? I hope his Alien didn't cause you to have to perform a Rape Escape! How Angry was his Earwig? I bet you were thinking "I Must Scream, but at the moment I effectively Have No Mouth!"

Did he give you Full Throttle, Chris?

Rumour has it he showed Chris Remo his own personal version of Day of the Tentacle, right after Chris showed Tim how much he liked S&M.

Including Chris, by the looks of things... But seriously, crazy prices! TFT screens also put the price up by a further $200 to $300 over the cost of a CRT, which is crazy because TFTs are shit. Back on topic. That's great news!

Yeah, $800 for a video card. Well, obviously the card itself didn't cost that much, but that's how much they marked up the price because of it. And I swear that was the only difference. The thing is, they make money off rich Farmers in Ireland (not joking) that have a lot of money to spend and no knowledge of computers. Also people with no knowledge of computers or prices in general. But, if you are ever building your own PC, check out the Bargain Zone areas of stores. If you have that kind of thing in America. I found lots of respectable graphics cards and such being thrown out for $50 a piece, just because some guy had bought it and returned it because it wouldn't work in his PC, or because the packaging is a little damaged. When I say respectable, I mean top of the range, pretty much. EDIT: I cannot count the number of times people have come in and bought a top of the range Graphics card for near enough $300 or even more, and returned it a few days later after realized they have an on board graphics card. Then we have to mark down the price as a 'return product' which means you can walk in the next day and buy it for $70. It would be a really cool scam, huh? Or maybe they're a little smarter than that in America. I don't know. Yes, the prices are deliberately designed by psychologists to trick people. They actually are.

Happy Unbirthday, Chris... I'm gonna scan in my math homework later and email it to you. See, I didn't forget.

There are two PCs at work (there are a lot of PC's, it's a PC store...), two PCs in particularly that sit side-by-side on the display. Both are Compaqs of pretty respectable specs (3.0Ghz, 512mb RAM, blah blah blah), with 17'' Compaq TFTs. They're exactly the same, part for part, color for color, except that one has an ATI Radeon 9600. The other has some 64mb intel on board deal. One is $1099. The other is $1899. Guess which is which?

It's like the Holocaust of the fucking flies in my room right now. I don't know where they came from or why they are all in little dead piles, like sugar loaves, all over my window sill. God, it's a massacre; piles and piles of little black bodies, with the occasional wearily waggling leg or faint buzz. Here and there, scattered throughout the dead, lies the odd wasp or too, a vibrant contrast to the tiny, dark flies. And then, of course, where there are flies there will be spiders, but they have joined the victims and are now almost invisible against the backdrop of death, their tiny hair-legs curled up over their abdomens, death-like. I can still taste the fresh blood and flyspray in the air. Who did this? Where did they find all these flies and wasps? Were the flies trying to have a party when this happened, that they'd all gathered into a single point in my room? Or did somebody empty a bucket of dead flies, covered in fly-killer, in my room for safekeeping, or to pick up later, or whatever? I don't get it?

Fine then. If you wish to know it so badly... Bus Passes turn me on. I'm not even joking, they do. Trep could work wonders with a bus pass. There, you happy?

HAHAHAHAHA... your a idiot.

Solid Snake with a bus pass, running to catch the bus.

It still looks more to me like a penis on a statue..

Yeah, that darned Berlin Wall! Looks exactly like a stone penis, what? I forget the precise details, I just remember being highly disappointed it wasn't a penis.

Ha ha ha, yeah! That was the best picture EVER!!! Until, on closer inspection, I realized it wasn't quite a stone penis on a naked guy, but in fact a pretty ordinary fence. But still...

Jake, are you nude?

But if we're going to go by that logic, then technically, American Chris wins because he had one simple line that incorporated everything you took a lot more sentences to say. "I'd, like, take you over to Double Fine and introduce you to Tim" is basically a condensed version of everything you said. The Geography Homework is really cool. I think you're going to like it a lot.

Okay, I think everybody will agree that Trepstud deserves first prize. He's won a secret Sega Megaprize! Even though you live just like, down the road from me, and I wouldn't even have to pay for postage and stamps.... you win NOTHING. Unless you want me to send you some shredded up cork flags? I'll even piss on them first. Chris wins my Signed Math Homework. Marek wins ... Uh, Signed Geography Homework. I assure you that my homework is of the highest standard, with pretty celtic designs bordering the pages and happy doodlings, as well as the correct date and secret notes scribbled on the back. All done on the finest quality A4 lined college standard paper. Kingzjester wins whatever game he wishes from that list. Nazi Chris wins NOTHING. Because he CHEATS on his GIRLFRIEND.

Oh crazy! I love Austrians! Wooo! I hope you guys are taking notes from Trepstud.

I feel violated.

You guys are dreamy. I'm beginning to really like the name 'Chris'. American Chris gets more points than the Austrian Chris because the American Chris never mentioned Brad Pitt, and also because he's American. On the other hand, he loses points because he's from San Francisco and they all have long addresses with numbers in them that I hate writing out on envelopes. I hate LA. Minus 5 points. Bonus points for mentioning Mr T. You're none of you trying hard enough. I'll throw in a free SECRET PRIZE worth LOTS OF MONEY from SEGA that I don't WANT any more because it's USELESS and has been sitting up in my attic gathering dust for what, TWO YEARS or something! You have a girlfriend?!!? And you're trying to seduce me in return for a signed copy of my Maths Homework!?? And a free game? And a Sega Dre-- SECRET PRIZE? WTF are you!? Minus one thousand billion trillion points!!! How typically Austrian.

Would it creep you out a little if I told you I'm doing my Geography Homework? P.S. You spelled my name wrong. Also, a Russian Gay game into work today and laughed at my name and told me no russian person would EVER be called that. EDIT 2: Uh... Guy* Came* EDIT 3: Yesterday*

And that's how it's done. Are you sure you're gay?

Trepstud, if only I was in Chicago Besides, not just the games. The Maths Homework is totally the hottest part of that competition.

COMPETITION!!! WIN an awesome game of your choice + a FREE signed copy of MY MATHS HOMEWORK!!! See Below for Details. Employees and Direct Family Members of Yufster or PC World not elegible to enter. Whoever hits on me best, I shall send a copy of my Maths Homework, signed, plus a video game of your choice! Choose from the following: Alice! Full Throttle! Alice! The Dig! Adventuresoft Adventure Pack! Mahjognn 3D! Monkey Island 3! Beyond Good and Evil! I'm not even kidding. We are pretty much throwing these games out at work. So behold possibly the most whoresome competition ever. A Signed Copy of my Maths Homework, and a pretty neat game of your choice. I'll observe from the background and announce a winner sometime like, later on. Seriously. I'm not joking. Go ahead. Knock yourselves out. EDIT: Shit, Marek has practically won already. NEARLY. You can still beat him. YOU JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE!!!