Salka

Right. I just played the Sims 2. See, I was going over to Finn's house because he has an awesome PC which is capable of running Doom 3, whereas I do not. I had my freshly purchased copy of Doom 3, and some time. It was a foolproof plan, pretty much. But it turns out Finn had found THE SIMS 2. "Hey Finn! I got Doom 3!" "I'm playing The Sims." I mean, it really makes me fear for my genetic pool. My Older Brother wants to play The Sims instead of Doom 3. But, alright. I decided to have a go myself. It's the worst fucking waste of time ever. The only good part about this 'game' is that the Sims piss in the shower which, I think, is probably attention to detail that would have better been spent elsewhere. Like gameplay.

Any favourite emerging artists (I mean EMERGING artists, not ESTABLISHED ones), favourite local bands, or are you in a band? Post here! In American: Any favorite emerging artists (I mean EMERGING artists, not, like, ESTABLISHED ones), favorite local bands, or are you in a band? Post here! (P.S. I'm not, and I have no favorite local band or emerging artist as I have not really heard anything awesome yet. Your Turn!)

Alright, off topic, but ... I thought I'd mention that a guy at work got demoted from his position of salesperson because he kept asking customers whether they wanted 'to buy a bit of the auld PC Insurance'. I just thought it was funny...

Yeah, actually, Idle Thumbs uses far too much swearing and you all sound really crap when you swear, especially in articles. I remember reading one of the first articles here, about Another World, where there's what would be a funny caption if only it wasn't spoiled by the swearing, which just seemed immature. It was something like, "Maybe he's saying, "fuck you, world!", or maybe he's pretending to be an air'plane" or something like that. It ruined it. You guys are fucking bastards. You do shit like this the whole time. Screw you assholes. Swearing does not make things seem funnier.

It's Shakespeare. From Macbeth.

Jesus Jesus Jesus Christ! Now I can force all people to buy psychonauts, not just people with PCs or Xboxs! Oh, and that article is horrible.

Just 'cause you don't know how to use her...

Macgyver!!!!

Can I be in charge when you guys are gone?

Indy's Bullwhip, and his hat. Coolest props ever? Probably yes.

Hahahaha, I just cried laughing over this, before I read the rest of the sentence and realized it was sarcasm. Anyway, Don't go too hard on the salespeople, they're only doing their job.

Ah, yes... the oft-overlooked 64bit tgurhft... Also: it's a stupid idea, those people are stupid, you're stupid, and I hate all of you.

Hey, Chris... what do you suppose the rating for your PC would be?

Yeah, the ratings system sounds retarded. Level Five? Level Ten? That doesn't tell me shit. And what about home-built PCs? They're still going to need to include System Specs on the back of the box anyway, as well as the rating. PC gamers are probably going to know what hardware they're running anyway, so I don't really see who this is aimed at... except, as I said, mothers. But, like... even then...it just seems messy and unecessary. It's not even going to make keeping up with technology more easy, because the ratings can't be variable. If, in 2006, a 'Level Five' rating means a PC with 2GB of RAM and 6.0Ghz with a ATI Radeon 1000000 (It's the future!) it's still going to have to be a level five rating in 2010, when technology has moved further still, because otherwise all the NEW games that need a level five PC will be lying. So you're going to have to keep up to date with all these ratings and shit anyway. On the other hand, it's going to make a lot of people feel under pressure to get 'Level Ten' PCs instead of 'Level 1' PCs, in the same way as people would rather be seen driving their kids to school in a 04' instead of a 94' car. So I'll make more commission. It's also going to piss people off when they're blatantly shown just how fast technology DOES move on and how quick their PC becomes obselete. When they buy a 2.0Ghz Pentium 4 with 512MB RAM while it's the latest thing, and they a 3.0Ghz Pentium 4 with 1gig of RAM is released, it doesn't seem quite as blatant as when they buy the Latest LEVEL 4 PC, only to find the LEVEL 5, 6 and 7 released the next day. Civilization, and the economy, will fall apart, house prices will boom and all hope will be lost. It's a fucking stupid idea.

[edited - should have read the whole article first] I am highly aroused at the prospect of using my Xbox 2 Peripherals on the PC. Or at least, I will be, if the Xbox 2 controller is more cleverly designed in such a way that I'd want to use it on my PC. But, you know what I mean. What about a 3.6Ghz Pentium 4 with 512MB RAM, and an Intel EXTREME!!! 32 bit graphics card? Where do they fit in? Yeah, it's a good idea in theory. But you can't exactly change the value of designated ratings, if you know what I mean, as technology progresses. So it could get messy. Also, you can't really garauntee a PC game will run even on a PC that should technically be able to run it... it's a little hit and miss. So really, it's only going to benefit mothers going out to buy a christmas or birthday present for their son/daughter, who knows that their PC is a Level 3 or whatever. Although I don't know why that mother can't just learn off the amount of RAM and the speed of the PC... I don't know. It seems kind of pointless to me. And wasn't there already something you could buy to use your PS2 controllers on your PC?

Ha ha, that's great. They've just introduced the Pre-Order thing into Irish stores, obviously because it's so 'popular' in the US. I hate Xtravision.

Shut up!!!

I would like to tell you all before you all return to the topic, that I owned and loved my very own Spectrum ZX WAYYY before you guys even knew how to talk. Pretty much. Probably. Anyway, Spectrums! Don't know what you called those things in America. But they were very awesome. My first games? Dizzy, Jetset Willy and... ah, that game where you're the kid that has to find some crazy crap around your insanely large and dangerous house before your mom let's you go to bed, or something like that. Jetset Willy was awesome.

Blah. The hottest Bond Girl was that one from The World is Not Enough... the one that Bond killed. Can't think of her name.

Something funny happened today. We had a pretty nasty car crash. As our car skidded uncontrollably between a truck laden with felled trees, and a line of traffic coming in the opposite direction, my initial thought was, “Typically, we crash in the pouring rain on the day I don’t bring my coat.” A car had pulled out twenty feet in front of us and knocked us out onto the middle of the road. We’d skidded uncontrollably in the rain for about an hour in slow motion, and somehow come to a rest in the center of the road still alive. I seriously don’t know how that happened, because for a long time it seemed like I was going to die. I don’t think anybody realizes how foreboding the horns on Trucks are. But they are like the fucking Muted Trumpet of Death, beckoning you closer to extinction. Not the funny part yet. As we finally, finally, finally seemed to come to a safe halt, we sat and gasped for breath for a moment, as one does after escaping death by about a centimetre. For a few seconds we just sat, frozen, with our shoulders hunched and our eyes closed in expectation of that final, fatal blow. Thankfully, it never came, or I probably wouldn't be posting this right now. Still not the funny part yet. I counted my fingers, toes, noses, eyes, arms, legs. All the traffic stopped. The car that had knocked us off the road had stopped too, except he had absolutely no damage on account of not being the one flung into oncoming traffic. My Mom put her head forward on the steering wheel and started shaking, and my brother burst in to tears. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried crashing a car into another car and then into a bunch of other stuff that I don’t quite recall, but it’s like being punched in the chest. It’s like little stabs of fire as the seatbelt snaps at you. I stepped out of the car, feeling dumb because I was in my school uniform, and inspected the front of the car. The door wouldn’t even open properly. I got back inside and said, “It’s a write-off.” At this point, traffic was all over the place and I felt like an idiot for holding it up. While my Mom called the police and started screaming and cursing and crying about how her two children had nearly been killed, the driver of the other car came toddling over. All the mayhem he’d caused seemed to have gone right over his head. He was about 90, bent over double with age, and peered at me over thick rimmed glasses. “Eh, eh, I’m eh, sorry about that. Looked like you were miles off when I pulled out.” “Oh.” I said. I didn’t quite know what to say. “Don’t worry about it. I nearly killed a guy on a bobsled once, in Oakwood.” “But that guy didn’t have TWO FUCKING CHILDREN with him!” Mom screamed incoherently from the car. I shifted my weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other and put my hands in my pockets. At this point, rain was dripping off my hair and into my pockets, and I was cold and wet. “So, are you… are you alright?” I asked awkwardly. “Eh, I’m eh, fine.” He said. “Thank the good lord you didn’t hit that truck, eh? Eh?” “I’m a fucking ATHEIST.” Mom screaming, trying to unhitch herself from the seatbelt so she could kill him. We waited around twenty minutes anxiously. Finally, the police car cruised by. In fact, it cruised right past us about ten yards, then stopped, slowly reversed, and one of them rolled down the window. “Did you call?” He yelled from inside the car. After a moment of thought, he added, “For the police?” just to clarify it. “Yes.” I said, because it seemed like the most sensible thing to say. And then -I swear to god this is all true- they parked there, right in the middle of the road, to FINISH THEIR ICECREAMS. The traffic had to drive around them while they finished their icecreams. I mean, as if it wasn’t bad enough eating icecreams in this sort of weather, they had stopped in the middle of the road to do it, and they were supposed to be at the scene of an accident. But I waited patiently. Finally, they stepped out of the car, pulling their hoods over their heads as they waddled over to us. “Now, where’s this cow?” The Tall One asked. I stared at him blankly. There was a weird emotion welling up inside me, like a mixture between bitter laughter and tears of despair. I hadn't cried when I thought I was going to die. I hadn't cried when I realized I was still alive. I hadn't cried when I'd seen the damage to the car and realized how lucky we'd all just been. But now I felt like crying, because everything was completely crazy. My bottom lip trembled as I stared back at them, because I thought they were joking and it seemed like a really cruel joke. They stared back earestly. “What?” I asked finally, incredulous. “Escaped cow on the road?” “No!” I slapped a hand on my forehead in disbelief. “A car crash! Look! There! Right there!” They paused, both of them. Then, very slowly, they turned around to look to where my finger was pointing, to a tangle of broken glass, metal, two cars and a truck laden with felled trees. There was a confused silence as they silently surveyed the mangled mayhem of cars and the backlog of traffic stretching two miles down the road on either side. “Ah, yes,” Said the Short One finally, “I was just about to ask about that.” .

Fuck you, honey. For your information... yeah, for your information... I've actually nearly finished that.

I rode the Vertigo

If you want to visit a really Dodgy Irish City, go just about anywhere in or around Limerick.

I am pretty sure there is a program you can use to rip the backgrounds from LucasArts games. Try Googling for it.

What's he look like, Chris? Is he hot?